THIS IS AN ARTICLE SUBMITTED BY ONEBALL MEMBER 'SUSIE'  ...  Another trip to The Heart of the Initiate Workshop in Brazil and another 3 journeys after drinking Ayahuasca. The final one was my 13th journey. Before I went on this trip I was plagued with nightmares of demons. My personal and working life was plagued with upheaval and distress and I needed answers ....

Thank you to my friend CP for the title! ... 

I am very happy to say that my wife Susie and I have been invited to take part in an Ayahuasca workshop in Bahia, Brazil next week.  I shall be away from the 13th for about 10 days. Please let me point out that we are quests. Again ‘I am a guest’. We would like to thank the organisers of the trip to Brazil for our invitations. I realise the subject of Ayahuasca is not everyone’s cup of tea but I shall still write up any experiences I have whilst in Bahia on my return and post the article on oneball. That will be my last posting on the website.

I felt more than slightly nervous about drinking the ayahuasca simply because of the massive powerful journey it had taken me on six months previously. I didn't think my body or my mind could take anothr journey like that one but I happily appeared with the rest of the tribe on time to receive another cup of ayahuasca that evening. The Shaman Warinei carried out his rituals and we all queued up for our measure of the magic potion. The group this time was much smaller than last time and it contained a lot of female energy, which was comforting to feel on a five-sense level. It was soon my turn to drink and I really struggled to get it down.

The world is going to change in some fundamental way; you know things will change but you can’t put your finger on what the change would be. You just feel it. A great transformation will happen and the form it will take will be something we never anticipated. The concept of a black swan is a metaphor. It is reference to anything that is utterly improbable. It refers to events or things which are not predictable but at the same time feel inevitable.

The face appeared again, smiling. It said that I had now judged and therefore trusted the Shaman and I can now 'face the beast'. I really didn't want to face any beast I thought. Why do I have to face a beast? What or who was the beast anyway. The face said, “I had to face the beast” at the next ceremony and no matter what happened I had not to request any help nor had I to spiritually surrender to what I see and hear. If I was successful then it would help matter in the future and allow the Shaman to have more power and therefore future ceremonies would hold far more meaning. It would eventually help 'unite all the elements'. I began to think the face had visited the wrong bloke and maybe he should have visited another bloke lying on another bed. I thought bloody hell it’s a case of mistaken identity! Why not let someone else face the beast and give me visions of Suzie Quatro singing and shaking her arse instead. That sounded a better option to me. Somehow I knew I was destined to face the beast.

I felt at ease but I got a sense of a presence of a force that was trying to communicate with me but I was somehow shutting it out. I could see swirling colours just like I remember seeing in my childhood. Then 'whooooosssshhh' a tunnel appeared and off I went down it. Flying. I then came to a stop and saw a padlock on a blue door and I was somehow forced to mentally concentrate on the padlock. I stared at the padlock and it started to vibrate and rattle and then it simply burst open and fell to the 'floor'. The blue door opened slowly and behind it was the 'Face' again. (The head I saw in Brazil that looked like Superman's dad) The face smiled at me and winked.

Matthew Delooze's first experience with ayahuasca in South America... By 8:45pm it started to take effect on me and I headed for my bed asthe sounds around me started to speed up and literally vibrate at amuch faster rate. The sound of the sea increased in intensity and the palm trees blew in sequence with it. My heart seemed to join in with the sea and the trees and go along in harmony with them. I had literally ‘joined in’ with the earth, the sea and with the breeze of the air. I was definitely spiritually unified with these elements. Ishut my eyes and I saw magical colours swirling around forming patterns and shapes. I was actually starting to enjoy this brew! For those that think I was just shit faced on a par with being on LSD…. Forget it!

We are taught in school that human beings are the superior species in nature. The idea that we are superior is only an assumption that lies within our collective forgetfulness. In order to truly ‘remember who we are’, we must also come into harmony and balance with the world we live in.

We are right in the middle of our individual heroic quests. Right now. Real time. The journey ... the heroic quest, is a journey of remembering. It is a reconnection to a place in us that has no comment or judgment about anything. Real love is free of any conditions. It exists without any requirements.