Tag Archives: The Rain

The Arrival of the Rain Bow Gate

The Arrival of the Rain Bow Gate

An Important Delooze News Report

Cross over shame like the wise Dove…
who cares not for fame… … just for shy love
(I Hunter/ Mott the Hoople: Hymn for the Dudes 1973)

Hello Folks,

I sincerely hope any and all genuine truth-seekers out there are OK and also I hope their hearts are strong, especially as we start to approach 2012.

It all seems rather strange and very surreal to me as I write this short update. Even though I have only been off line for a few months it still seems like a very long time. I have mixed feelings about publishing this update, especially so because the information it contains will be meaningless to many. That said, it is clear to me that sometimes it is very important that information regarding certain events, albeit relatively mundane events, gets to those that need to see it, and I know that the event mentioned below is spiritually vital to some minds and souls out there and it is to those folks that this message is sent and it is sent with good intentions.

It should no secret to those folks that have found my previous work and information important to them, that I have mentioned a lot of monuments/sculptures etc in the past. I have previously made it clear that I believe that certain official monuments, especially the famous land marks like the London Eye etc, are purposely created by the Serpent Cult, through the old boy network and then opened by their puppet ‘celebrity’ artists. I have also made it clear that sculptures and monuments are also sometimes subcontracted (commissioned)or blatantly hijacked from independent artists via very tempting sponsorships or other funding schemes that are usually supplied through the corrupt local authorities. In these cases the artist is literally ‘told’ what to create. In a nutshell, the Serpent Cult simply ‘bung’ the artist to supply their own pre-planned symbolism hidden as unique art and then simply place the symbolic monument within their own pre-planned and ritualised foundations (Usually Ley lines) for use within their own agendas. The Serpent Cult uses its esoteric knowledge right under the noses of a stupefied public knowing it will receive no comback and in my opinion, because of the enforced spiritual blindness placed on the human race, the same cult believe that things will always be like that. Indeed how can the blind expose what goes on right under their noses.

I don’t believe things will always be like that and I also believe that the Serpent Cult will one day reap what it sows in the monument situation.

With that in mind I would like to draw attention to the construction of a monument currently taking place, literally as I speak, in my home town of ‘Burnley’ (Burnley should be twinned with Rock Ridge!).

The Rain Bow Gate

 The Rain Bow (two separate words) Gate is currently being constructed in Princess Way Burnley. It is just around the corner, literally a couple of hundred yards from where I grew up as a lad. Officially the Rain Bow Gate is part of a £1 million pound scheme known as the ‘Public Realm Transformation Project’ and ‘Tonkin Liu’ got the nod to create the monument that is described as ‘Burnley’s Gateway’.

You can see on the official poster pictured above that the scheme is sponsored using several occult symbols, including Burnley’s “Bees” but this message is not sent to you to point out such things. I have pointed them out before in my struggles and attempts to help folks, if I have failed to trigger or educate you during 2004-2010 then I do not believe my future information will be for you. So I suggest you do not waste your time on anymore of it if that is the case.

Anyway, Tonkin Liu, the official architects of the Gate, also created the Singing Ringing Tree in Burnley too. As mentioned earlier the Serpent Cult simply ‘buy’ the artist and/or place the monument within their own symbolic foundations for their own agenda.

I believe this is the case with the Singing Ringing Tree and I have given my opinion on that monument and its meaning in my book, Is It Me for a Moment – Breaking the Serpent’s Spell? I also believe that the same architects got the Rain Bow Gate ‘job’ simply because of their previous contacts within the corrupt Burnley civic brotherhood and other links with the liars and fraudsters that have privileged and sway within the criminal committees inside the local authorities.

In my opinion on a five sense level, The Rain Bow Gate has physically appeared in Burnley more through the actions of a vain incompetent egotistical back-scratching clique, than any covert plan to provide a work of art or even a symbolic occult monument for the Serpent Cult. Mind you Burnley and Lancashire have not got a monopoly in employing egotistical back-scratching cliques to run our towns for crafty unseen faces. This entire country follows the same rules and serves the same unseen faces. Obviously this fact is becoming more transparent, as we see the plugs to our bathtubs of comfort being threatened more and more everyday (Ref: singing do wah diddy essay 2004) and it is only a matter of time my friends, when some greedy fat arses will be left soaking wet next to an empty bath that once contained their illusionary comforts, and believe me no towel on this side of Jupiter will be big enough to hide their dirty cracks when it happens.

Anyway, back to the monument :)… Anna Liu of Tonkin Liu (Official Architects) explains the ideas behind Rain Bow Gate…

“We were inspired by how the viaduct frames the view of the surrounding landscape, which I think is one of the best things about Burnley.”

“Rain Bow Gate, is a bow structure that integrates 500 prisms to capture light and create rainbows. A new breed of single-surface structure we’ve pioneered with structural engineers at Arup, the structure uses advanced digital modelling, analysis, and fabrication tools. The transformation of light into rainbow evokes a sense of wonder, which we feel is at heart of education.”

“Rain – celebrates Burnley’s nature and weather which was pivotal to Burnley’s industrial past. Bow – reflects the arches of the viaduct, a dynamic and highly-efficient structural form. Gate – reflects how the different parts of Burnley connect at this site. Click here for official report.

Eh?  Different parts of Burnley connect at this site? Sense of wonder? Heart of Education? Well how can I not disagree with that explanation?  After all I was born in this shit hole town and I have spent 53 years here. I’m sure luvvies ‘Mike & Anna’ mean well, especially when arty farty money is changing hands, but I’m sure they would admit that they know absolutely nothing of Burnley’s true past or for that matter its present. I’ll give you my brief version of the town as an aging, cranky old man, resident of Burnley.

 “Burnley is nothing but a collection of small variously themed ghettos that wallow in deprivation whilst under the oppressive control of a sick brood of vipers”. 

Matthew Delooze September 12th 2011

The vast majority of the towns workers and other slave residents spend a lifetime (usually shortened by 10 years or more) through (a) being proud and surviving on poverty wages in soul destroying jobs or (b) not being proud and allowing themselves to live a life of misery on state handouts. Both (a) and (b) groups, if that way inclined, will also duck and dive through the proceeds of petty crime (I have done all three!). These fellow pathetic oppressed blind slaves are, at the same time, totally controlled by the policies of local gangsters posing as honest professional executives and their puppets within the local authorities and/or worse by hardened criminals, wheeling and dealing, usually in drug or property scams, whilst posing as academically gifted professional pillars of society. In reality all would have you knee capped for ten bob and murder your grandmother for less. Burnley is a cesspit that is literally on a par with Sodom.

So, maybe, if a pathetic nutter like me can be so bold to suggest it, Tonkin Lui should have/could have provided a far more apt monument to symbolise a gateway into Burnley, one that would truly represent this shit hole of a town, far more than a rainbow does? May I humbly suggest that a replica of Rodin’s Gate of Hell (Based on the ‘Inferno’ section of Dante’s Divine Comedy) would be more apt?

 Rodin’s Hell’s Gate and a section of it.

 Anyway, again, back to the Rain Bow Gate monument…. I have actually supervised the installation of the foundations of the Rain Bow Gate monument and then literally witnessed its creation. The Gate is not completely finished yet (Due October) but you will note (below) that the steel structure has 500 little oblong shapes cut in to it. The reason for this is to create and insert small ‘prisms’. The structure is built to literally create many little rainbows all around anyone standing underneath it. Obviously anyone looking from a distance would/should see the rainbows too. (If Burnley gets any decent light of course)

The little oblong ‘slits’ will create ‘Rainbow Rods’

All Photos copyright Matthew Delooze 2011

 Hey… Anyone who followed my Ayahuasca workshop writings like ‘Only Love Can Bring The Rain’ or ‘Standing in The Line Of Fire’, from a few years ago now, may remember my experiences whilst surrounded by little ‘rainbow rods’.  I hope you can and if you can remember them then I’m glad. I tell you the truth, albeit on a personal spiritual level, I have waited a bloody long time for this symbolism to arrive in my home town. Hey…  I don’t know what I tell a psychiatrist though as my Rain/ Rain Bow rods hallucinations /delusions now appear to be becoming physical in my home town. I also wonder what odds a bookie would have given me for an apparatus appearing in my home town that actually physically creates the exact same rainbow rods that I saw and wrote about in Colombia and Brazil during Shamanic ceremonies at least three years ago? 1000 to 1? 1,000,000 to one? What odds would you have given me or would you and your ego not consider such a thing? You think I write such things for fun do you? Simply to entertain fakers and takers?

Again, I must admit, as daft as it sounds, that I have waited a long time for this symbolism to arrive in my life on a physical level. So much so that I must also admit that in my excitement I did a little dance on the foundations of the Rain Bow Gate (Blush) jigging like a silly old get I was too. Hey…. and my wife will tell you that ‘I’m no Lionel Blair’ (In more ways than one I might add too!) so it was quite an effort on my part.  In fact I believe its the only time I have danced whilst sober apart from when I jigged a dandy jig around the blazing fire that appeared at the Singing Ringing tree in Burnley in 2007. Hey maybe I was a Shaman in a past life?

Dancing or Dreaming in a Delusion?

I have done some things that may seem silly to some people over the last 13 years. There isn’t enough paper to write down all the silly things I have done and what silly things I still have to do, so I suppose dancing on the foundations of a gate is not so silly if you know why you do it is it? I certainly made a bigger fool of myself in my youth trying to impress young ladies dancing in nightclubs. Northern Soul?  Northern Arsehole more like.

And I tell you the truth, and I do mean you, that there is no limit to the silly things I will do if each silly act helps and leads you to remember who you are and enables you to see the pathetic deception that enslaves us. I’ll don the clown suit at any time, no problem, and looking in the mirror this morning I won’t need much make up either.

I have even done a little cheesy styled video for you below but be warned Matt Delooze may not not know how to do professional HD videos yet…    but he knows other things.

The Rain Bow Gate (Foundations) from matthew delooze on Vimeo.

I will update this message when the Rain Bow Gate is complete and opened by the town’s leaders. But before I go I forgot to mention a new logo that was, in a large part, created for the Gateway scheme in Burnley and the symbolism that has appeared over the last couple of years and it cost quite a lot of money to create.

Burnley’s new Logo created to display on several ‘Gateways’ in to the town

 “Bloody hell you could hide a space ship and a Yeti turd in that thing and we’d still be none the wiser… so the scam still works then?”

Matthew Delooze 2010

I quote the press below

“Council bosses have now spent £400 seeking to register the logo across five trademark classes, so it cannot be used by other towns. It will be displayed at gateways to Burnley, on literature, and a website to make the image instantly identifiable with the town.” (Source)

Anyway I hope you at least enjoyed my video. I will follow up on the Rain Bow Gate soon.

Until then….   May Love Reign O’er You!

Matthew Delooze  September 2011




Come On… Feel The Noise

Come On… Feel the Noise

The location of the Ayahuasca ceremonies

By Matthew Delooze

Ain’t you the guy who use to set the paces
Riding up in front of a hundred faces
I don’t suppose you will remember me
But I used to follow you back in sixty-three
From the song Bell Boy by the Who

Hello folks,

I am very glad to be writing again about drinking Ayahuasca medicine in South America. For those of you who have not followed the story of my experiences then I suggest you read ‘only love can bring the rain’ and ‘standing in the line of fire’ before reading about this more recent experience.

For those people who have read those articles and want to read more then let’s get going shall we?
Susie (my wife) and I eagerly accepted an invitation from Mr PP to attend another Ayahuasca workshop in Bahia, Brazil. The eco lodge at Bahia is a very beautiful setting indeed. With its palm trees, sandy beach, calm atmosphere and warm sunshine it is a far cry from the slum areas of Burnley in Lancashire UK, where I exist. I won’t say ‘live’. Mind you Burnley is now one big slum area. Its corrupt local council and civic leaders have made it so as they follow the orders of the unseen faces, which hide behind the scenes.

Anyway the time to travel to Brazil was fast approaching and I had experienced quite a hectic schedule in the days leading up to the time of my departure, which in turn had made me not really think about the trip at all. I had also recently been given a gift by the same bloke who had taken on the role of the dead body and zombie during the Ayahuasca ceremonies in Colombia. We were both looking forward to going back to beautiful Bahia. The gift turned out to be an expected subliminal trigger for me because it provided an intriguing enigma. I was looking forward to the trip.

Then just a few days before I was due to set off, having now had time to think and reacting to the said trigger, I had started to have serious doubts about going to Brazil. A very dark cloud came over me and I became a very bitter and angry person. It was my wife’s dream to go back to Brazil and this only added to my depression because she wouldn’t go without me. I also didn’t want to seem ungrateful to the generous man who had invited me to attend the workshop. I couldn’t work out why I had suddenly got cold feet. Part of me realised that some force was either trying to stop me from going or some force was purposely winding me up. I soon realised it was the latter. I knew the force that was seriously affecting me was the same directing force that I have been consciously aware of for over 10 years. I trust this force 100% but I literally felt like I was about to enter a boxing ring and my trusted trainer was slapping me around the face to raise my emotions to a symbolic ‘erupting volcano’ level. The method was working too!

I was travelling on the Sunday 28th September and from the previous Thursday everything was going wrong for me and each thing that went wrong increased the amount of lava swishing around inside me, so to speak. Going off my previous experiences I knew that I was being prepared for some kind of a showdown. That said I had managed to get focused and by the time I set off for the airport I had managed to be very positive. I knew I was meeting up with good friends and good folk and I wanted to enjoy their company and hoped they wanted the same. I knew I was meeting up with some of the crew that had attended the previous workshops. I was happy about that. I wasn’t happy for long!

I flew down to Heathrow from Manchester. I had to change terminals to catch the long haul flight to Brazil. I had placed two suitcases and a laptop case on a ‘trolley’ (you know the sort, those things with squeaky wheels and a mind of their own, or is it only me that gets to push the dodgy ones?) Susie and I were rushing to get the train to terminal five. The train was actually in at the platform as we arrived underground. The doors were ready to close and the train was departing so I grabbed the cases off the trolley, Indiana Jones fashion, and just managed to get on the train just before the doors shut and off we went. Phew! It was that close I nearly got my arse trapped in the doors. I was feeling pleased with myself until I realised that I had only put two suitcases on the train! Indeed I realised with intense dread that my laptop case was still swinging on a hook on the trolley at terminal one when my arse was on a non-stop fast train to terminal five! Oh blinking heck I thought.

The laptop case and laptop contained some very important info, including all my material I use for my talks, some important papers and my new digital camera, that I was to use on my trip. I began to panic and I immediately looked for one of those strings they used to pull on old trains to stop them in their tracks.  You know what I mean, an emergency cord or something? I couldn’t find bugger all. If I had found a string I would have pulled it! I then went looking for a guard. Couldn’t find one of them either, ‘lazy bastards’ I thought. My blood pressure rose rapidly. I was in full panic mode. My wife’s face told me I was close to psycho mode too! I felt like I was going to die. I have very little as far as material goods go. A good and generous friend had given me the laptop so I could do the talk in Halifax back in May. I knew I couldn’t replace it. I was devastated and automatically thought some quick-fingered fiend would steal it. I realised that a laptop in any condition can raise a bit of cash and I realised someone would take it within minutes. London is full of pickpockets hanging around the airport etc. I started to panic again and I felt faint….

…Then whoosh… whoosh.. memories came flooding back, half of me wanting to cry and half of me wanting to smash the train up in frustration of being such a clot in losing the laptop. But strangely it was the events in Colombia in February that came flooding back to me. The ‘face’ had told me that I would lose some baggage… I quote from ‘standing in the line of fire’… The face then said I would lose some personal belongings but I was not to get angry as it was meant to be and was a symbolic part of the ritual I had carried out and a symbolic loss of ‘baggage’. I was told that was why I had placed my bag at the base of the pole and that the missing things would represent the ‘eyes’ of the people that were not there.

At that time I thought it was because I’d had a camera stolen during that very ceremony. The camera I had bought to replace the stolen camera was indeed in the lap top bag. I soon realised that the face that had talked to me under Ayahuasca in February really meant the laptop bag was going to be my lost baggage and the face was really talking about events that were to take place six months later. I knew the ritual that had taken place in Colombia was now being continued in Brazil. The face knew then I would get angry. I never felt angry in Colombia so I knew the face really meant my laptop as being the ‘baggage’.

We got off the train at terminal five, which is a brand new terminal and a bloody joke to navigate. The terminal consists of lifts (elevators) with no buttons and robot staff that simply can’t be arsed to help anyone in a crisis sort of thing. We, Susie and I, attempted to trace our steps and we both ran around Heathrow Airport like headless chickens, we tried to get the laptop case and its content back. The sheer size of the airport and modern technology stopped us. After fifty minutes of effort we both gave up. I had even returned to terminal one but the bag was gone. No luck with the lost property office either. We had to give up on the baggage or we would miss the plane to Brazil. I was simply going to Brazil without my sentimental baggage and no tools. My emotions were back to ‘erupting volcano’ level again.


“But I see a face coming through the Haze, I remember him from those crazy days”

The group all eventually met up in Brazil. It was a very happy, jolly if you like, group. I tried to put on a happy face but my thoughts were negative, something was keeping me in the ‘erupting volcano’ mode. Mind you this time, as an added bonus, there were many more females in the group and may I say very pretty ones too. The energy of the ladies stood out. We arrived at the eco lodge two nights before the first ceremony and we started a detox program using healthy food etc. I am too long in the tooth to change my ways, I like my English grub, but I must admit the food was expertly prepared. By the second night I had put my baggage loss behind me and nerves set in about drinking the Ayahuasca again. I looked around at the group again there were some very powerful and wealthy people in it. I felt like the runt of a litter. We all lined up to take it. I was the last person in the group to drink it. I watched the entire group. There were about 20 people drinking in all. I watched them all take to their beds and I then took off my coat, waved it around, and then lay down myself.

The medicine came on very strong very quickly. I felt at ease immediately and all my anxiety from the previous couple of days fell away. The sound in the air changed as it usually did with the medicine. I fought off the effects of the medicine at first but soon I put my hands behind my head and opened up. I shot down a tunnel at tremendous speed. Whooooossshhh. The now well-known face (Superman’s dad) appeared. ‘Where’s my bloody laptop’ I thought. The face laughed and said don’t worry about a silly laptop, ‘we’ will get it back to you. I asked who ‘we’ were. I was told ‘we’ were like ‘the men high up there fishing’ from a song I like. I was told ‘the men high up there fishing’ wanted me to carry out a judgement job on the Shaman’s talents. If I thought the Shaman was good and strong then I had to say so and ‘face the beast’ this week. If I thought the Shaman was weak and no good then I was to say so and do nothing. I said why me? Why do I have to judge the Shaman. Other people knew the Shaman better than me. Ralph Miller (Heart of the Initiate) had found the Shaman in a Colombian village years ago so surely his judgement about his skills were far better than mine. I was just the runt of the litter after all. I was told I had purposely been put in a certain state of mind to do the judging.

I now saw fault in everything that I could find fault with so therefore I could easily see any fault in the Shaman and his medicine if it was there.

The face apologised for having had me put in the frame of mind I was in. I thought ‘bloody hell the only person who apologises to me after all the shit I have had is through ‘hallucination’ whilst under the influence of the Ayahuasca medicine. I started laughing about this. The face then said he was not an illusion and the only way he could communicate with me was through using Ayahuasca. The face said I had agreed to use Ayahuasca for communication purposes before I came into this world. The face said that if I didn’t carry out the request then I would simply just go back to sleep.

I said OK then I will judge the Shaman. What did I have to do? He said I had to ‘hear’ the four Indian chiefs that I had previously ‘seen’ in Colombia. I had to hear the four voices from the West, East, South and North directions. I was told if the Shaman’s magic was good enough then I would hear all four chiefs within a minute of each other. I was told to use my watch to time the voices.

I was then given a paper to use as a kind of ‘tick off list’ and when I heard each voice of each chief I had to tick them off. The face said good luck, winked at me and disappeared. I opened my eyes; I looked around at group who were in various stages of their own journeys. Most of them were flat on their backs but a few were up puking like crazy or making silly noises in the background. The strange things you see under Ayahuasca, with your eyes open, include people that are literally shape shifting. It can be very scary. The trees change shape too. People seem to change into religious icons or even wild animals. They seem to show you the symbolism they carry. If you can read symbolism you can see the true intentions of the person. Anyway I shut my eyes again and the Shaman immediately started chanting and playing musical instruments. This put the group back into a collective trance. I raised my arm and removed my watch. I heard the chanting behind me (North) and then I heard chanting to my right in my right ear. I saw this as West. I then heard chanting to my left (East) and then at my feet (South). The chanting was very clear and loud from all directions, but it was distant. I quickly opened my eyes to see if it was simply the Shaman moving around or throwing his voice but a quick look behind me showed me that the Shaman had never moved and his lips were still yet I could still hear it. I had indeed witnessed the voices from the 4 chiefs and from all directions. It may have been the Shaman’s ability to throw voices but it sure didn’t seem so to me. I ticked the imaginary list. I then placed the watch back on my wrist. It had taken under four minutes. I was also to judge the power of the medicine and the Shaman’s music. Both were very powerful.

I ticked the imaginary list again. The Shaman had passed the test I was supposed to judge with, literally, flying colours.

The face appeared again, smiling. It said that I had now judged and therefore trusted the Shaman and I can now ‘face the beast’. I really didn’t want to face any beast I thought. Why do I have to face a beast? What or who was the beast anyway. The face said, “I had to face the beast” at the next ceremony and no matter what happened I had not to request any help nor had I to spiritually surrender to what I see and hear. If I was successful then it would help matter in the future and allow the Shaman to have more power and therefore future ceremonies would hold far more meaning. It would eventually help ‘unite all the elements’.

I began to think the face had visited the wrong bloke and maybe he should have visited another bloke lying on another bed. I thought bloody hell it’s a case of mistaken identity! Why not let someone else face the beast and give me visions of Suzie Quatro singing and shaking her arse instead. That sounded a better option to me. Somehow I knew I was destined to face the beast.

The face said I would mainly carry out things on another dimension during the ceremonies this week and therefore not embarrass myself on a five-sense level as much as I usually do. The face added that if I thought this was an easier way of doing things then I’d better think again, it wasn’t. I was going to ‘feel the noise’ at the next ceremony. I had literally been challenged to and if I hadn’t the balls to face a beast then I’d better bugger off now sort of thing. It wasn’t the time for Suzie Quatro concerts!

I was told if I hadn’t the balls to match the beast then I would be easily defeated in the future and all the research and writing and travelling I have done, with the help of others, would be in vain. I took the face very seriously, hallucination or no hallucination, I knew it wasn’t messing around and I would experience things whether it was a bloody hallucination or not. My chakras, for want of a better word, went into overdrive and to put it bluntly my arse started twitching. (Anyone who has drunk Ayahascha knows that when their arse starts twitching it’s time to take note and act!)

I never had the urge to reject the face or tell it to bugger off. I always listened intensely and I never ever thought the information was false or unreal. Whoever this face was I trusted it 100%.

I was told by the face that the group was spiritually weak on a collective level but there were some individuals who would take up symbolic roles during their own personal journeys with the plant and these roles would help support me on a spiritual level, in more ways than one, whilst I faced the beast. My back would be guarded. I would not be alone. I was told through symbolism that it would help me if some in the group lowered their egos a little. (I did mention this at the group sharing session before the second ceremony). The face then told me that I would have to declare to the Earth that it was ‘time’ for me to be able to face the beast.

The face said it was time to relax and listen to the music being played by the shaman and relax I did. The face told me that my vision of the coloured rods that I experienced in Colombia was created by the rain that had appeared that night (see previous essay). The face told me the light rods really represented a love type healing energy created through the rain that had come to me in five-sense reality in previous ceremonies. The Shaman had created the circumstances and called forward the energy but the rods were from the rain. The face reminded me that I was to carry out things in another dimension this week and the rainbow light rods represented the rain in this other dimension. The rainbow light rods were literally ‘the rain’ on another dimension. Dry rain if you like. The face told me that the rain would be with me when I faced the beast. I knelt up and looked around and the light rods were back with me. They were all around, pouring down and flying around if you like. I was literally gob-smacked again.

I stood up and walked around and the light rods were not confined to a small area like they were in the maloca in Colombia, oh no, this time they were literally covering the entire eco village. There were millions of the buggers. They were over every bungalow and hut. They were raining on every person and animal and every tree. It was beautiful and I felt beautiful too, which is rare for an ugly bugger like me! I was literally in love with the inter-dimensional rain. I wanted to be soaked in it. I wanted this energy to reign over me forever.

The rainbow lights rained over the entire eco lodge.
Was I simply just as high as a kite and hallucinating on a drug?

I don’t know. I don’t care. I tell you the truth when I say that I felt a connection again to the rain through these coloured rainbow rods that I cannot even see on a five-sense level. I can only feel them on a five-sense level. I led down again and shut my eyes. I was being shown why I had suffered and what I was trying to get back. I need, we need, to connect with the elements on a spiritual level. I was being shown that we, the human race, need to retain the spiritual energy that is being sucked from us. The energy we create to feed our planet is being stolen, therefore we starve ourselves spiritually because we starve this world spiritually. I was shown again that that our energy is created with the intent to feed this planet, our world, and not feed the deceivers that are stealing it from us. I was being shown how this energy is stolen. I was also shown how we all ‘equally’ create these rainbow rods through our emotions but instead of these rods feeding and continuously healing our world, as they should, they simply feed another world. A parasite is stealing the world’s spiritual energy. This world is now very sick and it needs healing very sharpish in my opinion. It’s time for ‘us’ to provide the medicine the world needs. It’s time for us all to give our love to the planet and also the elements that make our physical world possible.

It’s time for us all to match the balls of the beast. How do we do this? We simply remember who we really are and stop being what we are told we are.

The face showed me a very powerful and cryptic vision of the future where the Air, Water, Earth and Fire were united and these elements openly challenged the deceivers that have divided and ruled this world through deception for thousands of years. Oh my brothers the vision was very strong. One element cannot change things but all the elements together can. The face (It had been with me several hours on and off) told me to rest up after the ceremony. I came out of trance and along with my wife Susie went back to our hut. I opened the door, walked in my hut, and saw vertical lines in front of me like pieces of string hanging down. I realise this sounds daft but I literally parted these strings with my arms. They then took the shape of a large vagina as I did so. (I immediately thought of that twat George Bush!) I realise that I was symbolically coming in to or out of another dimension and the vagina represented this. As soon as I passed through the large vagina the strings disappeared. I scrambled behind my mosquito net and fell down exhausted. Half of me was scared over the visions and the things the face said about the beast but half of me was elated over the inter-dimensional rain that I saw again. I lay in bed in the dark and I wept with joy and sadness at the same time for at least an hour. It was 4am when I fell asleep.

I awoke and was immediately wide-awake at 8am. Things began to make more sense to me. I had brought some symbolic items with me to Brazil. I had been in possession of these things for quite a while. I hadn’t a clue what some of my possessions were for or what they represented. The gift I had received just a few days before I set off for Brazil also made sense. It was a symbolic ‘Book of the Dead’ and a symbolic corpse or zombie had given it to me. (The bloke who played dead / a zombie during the ceremonies in Colombia) He couldn’t explain why he bought me the gift apart from it was just a random act of generosity and an act of friendship. We had a group discussion about our ‘journeys’ the day after the first ceremony. I told the group that I had experienced a journey as the runt of the litter. I told them that from the bottom position looking up that some of them had big egos. In the main my comments fell on deaf ears. But this was to confirm that I was the runt of the litter.

The Second Ceremony (Daytime)

“Crazy Days – Hazy Days” “A beach is a place where a man can feel He’s the only soul in the world that’s real “

We carried out an offering to the Earth ceremony before the second Ayahuasca ceremony. This took the form of each individual placing a symbolic crystal of his or her choice in a hole in the ground. I was spiritually directed to place a symbol in the hole that indicated that I agreed it was time to face the music so to speak. It was my watch. The same watch that was broken at the first Ayahuasca ceremony in 2007 (Mentioned in ‘only love can bring the rain’).

I knew when that watch hit the bottom of the hole that I was indeed going to have to face something during the ceremony. There was no turning back time. The time for the ceremony arrived.
Again I was the last member of the group to take it. One brave member of the group decided to drink the Ayahuasca later, his reasons for this are better known to him, but I knew that if I failed then this person would have to face the beast in my place and would have faced a very tough journey. Subconsciously this bloke was ready to wear my hat so to speak. Sounds a bit like airy-fairy Indiana Jones movie stuff, I know folks, but that was the way it was and I was glad it was that way.

I drank the stuff down and I must admit to anyone out there. ‘Ayahuasca tastes like shit’. It’s bloody awful stuff. I thought I would have to stay on my feet again like I did during my first visit to Brazil. I put my hat on as it was hot and sunny and decided to take position in front of swimming pool and face the beach and the sea, just like I did a year earlier. I paced up and down staring out to sea waiting for whatever was coming my way. The plant medicine was taking effect and the vibes started. Then I realised what the face had told me. I was to carry out things on another dimension this time, it was not a five-sense journey. Those that read ‘only love can bring the rain’ will know I was challenged to stay on my feet throughout an Ayahuasca ceremony. Those that have truly drunk this medicine will know that is a massive task in itself. Ayahuasca flattens you. I soon realised that I was very glad I was not being challenged to ‘stay on my feet’ this time. I would have failed the challenge. This was top shelf Ayahuasca. The vibrations in the air started to increase drastically. A humming started to throb in my ears. It just got louder and louder and louder. I looked out to sea hoping to see visions of what I was told to face. The Beast.

I was expecting some kind of 10 headed monster to materialise or something and bite my head off. The throbbing noise was becoming unbearable and I literally folded in half, in puke mode if you like, desperately trying to be sick, maybe I could escape the journey if I was sick now I thought, but there was nothing in me to be sick with. My stomach only contained a cup full of Ayahuasca. The plant medicine was fully in my system by now anyway (50 minutes in) and I knew I was there for the duration. I staggered back under cover to where the rest of the group was and made it to my makeshift bed.

The area where the group lay

I thought the energy that was literally hitting me would decrease somewhat if I just lay down and shut my eyes. I was hoping the ‘face’ would appear to help me. The noise increased. This noise could make you go insane I thought. I didn’t think it was possible for this unbearable noise to get worse but it did. Oh my brothers it certainly did. I thought ‘what the fucking hell am I doing here’. To make matters worse I had actually asked for this torment! I shut my eyes again and thankfully the humming stopped. I was taken in a flash, Whooossshhh, in to a vision of a big ancient type door with the word ‘castle’ written on it, this door was high up on a pyramid type hill, there was a moat in front of it but it was like a waterfall not a moat. Like a step pyramid with water running down the steps.

I had a very strong urge to get in to the building.


The image was like this but the central steps were a mass of serpents that looked like a waterfall

I looked up at the castle door at the top of the waterfall, it was darkish, and I realised it wasn’t water it was a festering mass of open jawed serpents wriggling around on the steps. You couldn’t see the steps properly, just the serpents. They were hissing and spitting and waiting for me to climb up through them sort of thing. When I looked down at myself I saw I was actually wearing a feathered suit. I thought to myself bloody hell why am I dressed like a bloody ‘chicken’. (Sounds crazy I know but that’s what happened. I opened my eyes again but I was immediately engulfed with the noise and the intense throbbing of vibrations in the air. I had come out of a dimension sort of thing. I started to panic a bit. I wasn’t enjoying the journey one bit. I tried to stand up in the hope I could walk out of the vision or simply escape the vibrations that were rocking my very bones and tormenting my mind, but the energy was just way too strong. It knocked me straight back on my arse. I looked around trying to focus but the noise was unbearable, a massive whooshing hum controlled the whole atmosphere. I tried to calm myself and get a bloody grip of things. I was trying to raise my own spirits and trying to find the strength to cope. I realised some newcomers to the group were also suffering a bit. A few were moaning and groaning on their beds. Surprisingly this helped me perk up and gave me strength. I called out to this energy that was literally attacking us to leave the others alone. I was getting angry inside myself. The noise just got worse and worse I felt like I was going to die unless I surrendered. I started to kick my legs down as though I was walking. I was angrily stamping my feet down. I was in a real temper and all the emotions I had felt over prior to coming to Brazil were coming out of me with each step I made. Without the anger and the temper I would not have made the steps so i knew the anger was there to help me in my journey. I was then suddenly forced to shut my eyes again. Whoooosh! Again I saw the castle door but this time I was stood right in front of it. I was on top of the waterfall (the mass of hissing serpents). I was scared I was going to fall down backwards. I knew I couldn’t go back. I was still wearing the ‘chicken’ suit. I opened my eyes again. The noise and the energy hit me as soon as I did. The atmospheric pressure was enormous. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. When I shut them I instantly saw the castle type door again. It was like I was like I was instantly flitting backwards and forwards through dimensions. Things had never been this rapid for me before. I saw myself banging on this door like a frenzied psychopath. I was screaming in my head..”Open the door whoever you are”. My voice seemed to travel for miles.

The door slowly opened. I was basically shitting myself but my anger helped me. The door creaked open like something out of a horror movie. I was very scared but intrigued at the same time. As the door opened fully I expected to see a monster, a beast, that I was destined to face. A head appeared round the door with a mop of hair, it was no beast……. I was suddenly looking at myself. It was no beast it was only silly old me. It was me! It was me! There was no bloody beast. I was only going to face myself after all.

I (me behind the door) then said to me (me in front of the door). ‘I have been waiting a very, very, very long time for you’. ‘Come on in and start to live again’. I led myself to a massive wheel like on an old sailing ship. This wheel was attached to a standing stone. It was full of cobwebs and dust. I knew it was a wheel that needed turning and I also knew that only I could turn it. No one else can turn the wheel only me. I then had a flash back going back thousands of years. A bad energy force had butchered me for turning the wheel before. A long time ago. I told myself that thousands of years ago I had ‘shut down’ a very good power source to avoid a negative energy taking control of it. This negative force tore me to pieces for doing it. I dusted off the cobwebs and the dust. It made me cough. I then turned the wheel. I was literally in a there she blows captain sort of position turning the wheel like it was on a ship. Strangely the wheel had the watch I placed in the earth in the centre of it.

The wheel had my watch in the centre. Like this, but on a smaller scale.

As I was turning the wheel I saw an image of three other wheels that had already been turned and they were clean with no dust or cobwebs on them. As soon as I reach full lock on the wheel I was instantly back on my bed. The humming had stopped and the bad atmosphere and intense energy had cleared. I sighed with relief and I stared around at the rest of the group and things looked a lot calmer. I got off my bed and made it to the bushes where I purged and I purged and I purged. I wept to myself. My legs were shaking and my heart was thumping. Day was turning to night. It was 6pm. I had been on that part of the journey for three and a half solid hours.

I went back to my bed. I led face down. I later popped my head up and looked around at the others and saw some of the beds had turned into cars and the people on them had a steering wheel in their hands. The wheels looked like the one I turned. They looked comical like dodgem cars. I knew instantly that without these people I would have never got near my wheel that was behind the castle type door. I was still feeling hyper and hurting from head to foot like I had been in a hell of a battle. I wasn’t in a fight or flight mood I was just in a fight mood, but I realised I was simply fighting myself, only this time I wasn’t going to run away. I was simply ready and it was time for me to face my own fears.

The face appeared and said to me ‘well done’ you have faced the beast. The face was laughing and I laughed too. The face told me to pass on some symbolism to trusted faces, people with true colours, as it was important for the future. I did.

The face apologised again for putting me in the state of mind I was in but claimed I had to be like that or I’d never have knocked on the door. I felt exhausted and battered. I was completely numb. All my energy had been used. The humming and the noise had drained me. I had ‘felt’ the noise. I had literally carried the book of the dead. I felt detached from my arms and legs. I told the face that I never surrendered during the journey but I’d now had enough. I wanted to end my journey. The face told me to relax and said I would be fine in a day but later tonight I will see and feel the rain again and only this rain can heal me and only Shaman Warinei can create the circumstances to bring the rain at this time. I was told when I did see and feel the rain I had to give out Jaffa cakes to anyone that was awake.

I dozed off for a while, pondering on my sanity, and then my wife shook me telling me that she had had a powerful bad journey in the beginning of her journey. When I opened my eyes the rods were back with me. Beautiful colours. Beautiful atmosphere. My heart throbbed again as I got up and walked around the place. It was pouring down with little rainbow rods. Thousands of them again. I was ecstatic. I then eventually handed out the Jaffa cakes to anyone who would eat them at that special time. Those that did eat them were soon ecstatic too. We all celebrated the rain and rightly so!

My journey that day was over and I was glad. Very glad.

That’s basically all I can tell you about my Ayahuasca journeys in Bahia 2008. I met some very good people in Bahia and it was nice to be in the company of folk that know this world is corrupted and it was nice to meet folk that are genuinely searching for the truth within themselves. The biggest obstacle in our truth-seeking mission is ‘ourselves’ in my opinion. We can read books and watch DVD’s and we can go to talks to help trigger and feed an awakening in us, but if we cannot face ourselves and actually be ourselves ‘full on’ then we are wasting our time. I’m not preaching to you here. I’m just the same as anyone else. The biggest beast of control is within us. It is not the Serpent Cult. It is us. We are our own beast. Our minds have been manipulated since birth by a very deceptive force and no matter how awake we think we are that force still has a massive grip on all of us in some way or other. If we want to be free then we have to really want to be free and not play games at being free. We have to feel the noise of freedom on a full time basis not just hear the noise of freedom on a part time basis. There is a very big difference. Once we do that then our minds will lose the hypnotic grip of the Serpent Cult that has enslaved the human race for thousands of years. I know this essay will seem silly to many people who think its just the ramblings of a sad ageing man who was simply shit-faced on drugs that make folk hallucinate. I can only say again, as I did in standing in the line of fire, that the cryptic information in this article is provided to affect your subconscious and it will assist certain people in the future. I have told you my experiences as they were. Take them or reject them as you feel. Please… Call me a fool but don’t call me a liar.

Many more things happened during the course of the week in Bahia but the main thing that sticks in my mind is that on the way home I had to travel on an 8-seater plane. You know a puddle hopper with dodgy propellers sort of thing. Images of a Brazilian pilot hiccuping with a bottle of gin in his hand that was vowing to kill himself because his wife had left him sort of thing. I fought with my nerves and of course my anal muscles and got on the plane. You people know how much faith I put on symbolism so you will understand that my arse turned inside out when I suddenly realised, at 10000 feet, that I was sat directly across from a member of the band called ‘Curiosity Killed the Cat’ (from the 1980’s). Their biggest hit was called ‘Straight back down to Earth’. My arse never stopped twitching over that symbolism until we landed in Salvador! ‘Straight back down to Earth’ is not a song you want in your head whilst sat in a puddle hopping 8-seater plane!

Anyway. It’s time for me to go. I’m sure the entire group in Bahia realise they can literally have the coat off my back any time they want. Indeed they did. They could have had my original panama hat as well but Ralph Miller set it alight on the fire in 2007.

Susie and I would like to thank the entire group for making it a very interesting week. We would like to especially thank the very generous Piers, and his princess of a wife, for making it all possible and for unselfishly helping to wake people up. THANK YOU!

We would like to thank Ralph Miller, the delightful Fiona and Sandra and the Chef for looking after us so well and our deepest admiration goes to Shaman Warinei and his lovely assistant Sara for providing their magic and for the sheer hard graft they put in.

Shaman Warinei and Sara.

May love reign o’er them all.
Matthew Delooze 14th October 2008


Only Love Can Bring The Rain

 Only Love Can Bring The Rain


Drinking Ayahuasca in Bahia, September 2007

By Matthew Delooze

A beach is a place where a man can feel,
He’s the only soul in the world that’s real
But I see a face coming through the haze
I remember him from those crazy days
(Lyrics from the song Bell Boy by The Who)

Hello folks,
It’s not easy to start to describe my experiences in Brazil so please bear with me as I try to do just that.

I am fast approaching 50 years of age and I have never taken any substances or drugs of any kind throughout this life in this world life. I really haven’t smoked a joint or sniffed any white powders. I have drunk a lot of ale during my life though.

After a series of events in early 2007 I received an invitation from a Mr PP to visit the eco- lodge resort in Bahia, Brazil and attend an ‘Ayahuasca Workshop’. During this workshop I was to drink the ancient medicine on three occasions. Here is a link to the Heart of the Initiate website. I will say to anyone that is in the position or inclined to take part in an Ayahuasca workshop that they won’t find a better one than the one at Bahia. Not one. If any novice out there wants to read up on Shamans… here is a basic description.

Having met PP some months earlier at Temple Bar in London I soon realised that he was a man that genuinely sought the truth and he was actually willing to walk the walk to do so. He told me he was putting a crew together to visit Brazil and carry out three Ayahuasca ceremonies and he wanted me there too. Obviously I pondered on the thought why a man like PP would invite a man like me to join his crew.

I felt like I was standing on the edge of Vesuvius but I knew in my heart that I would take up his kind offer and go. I am very glad that I did. I am well pleased and I was not negatively beguiled in anyway. PP is one of the very few people I have met that actually seeks the truth. I am becoming very disillusioned with certain sections of the conspiracy /spiritualists communities and I fear that ‘yuppies’ are taking over the asylum so to speak, where money and ego are becoming the only tools to create information. In my opinion the same mentality that raped and pillaged the material fads and material fashions of the past is trying to do the same to the spiritual events currently in progress in this world. Please be warned that a sheep is a sheep no matter what pen it is led to.


I arrived in Bahia on the 1st September 2007after a very long journey including 3 planes, 1 boat, 1 train, two buses and a land rover. I hadn’t a clue what I was doing there! PP’s crew included some powerful and wealthy people and I initially felt out of place and so did my wife, as she was the only female present in the crew. The rest of the crew soon put us at ease (thanks lads) and my wife soon found other female company with the wonderful staff at the eco-lodge resort.

The crew soon bonded and I can see that the events of the long journey had caused us to unite in spirit long before we actually arrived at Bahia. It was just like we had done it, or planned it, all before. Maybe we had? We settled in easily and before we knew it was time for the first ceremony. Please remember that I hadn’t taken any substances, drugs or ancient medicines in my life before and neither had the majority of the crew.

The majority of the crew were apprehensive and who can blame us because lets face it we weren’t just going to have a drink of orange juice here and eat a chocolate biscuit were we? We were going to take Ayahuasca, which is a very powerful mind and spirit altering medicine. We had been previously warned that Ayahuasca might make us vomit or shit ourselves stupid or both! Not the most positive of descriptive ways to encourage people to take it is it?

Oh, by the way, Matthew you are likely to spew your guts up or shite through the eye of a needle after you drink this stuff… do you want one cup or two my dear!”

I had visions of my late mother appearing in the forthcoming visions I was about to experience, wagging her finger whilst saying: “Have you got clean underpants on laddie? You soon won’t have me laddie boy so I hope you have brought a clean pair for when they cart you off to hospital! Go on get shit faced on drugs you silly bugger… but don’t you dare show me up at the hospital and turn up with dirty underpants on” (I swear that’s exactly how my Mam would have seen the situation) Anyway let’s get on eh?

The First Ceremony

What is it? I’ll take it

The first ceremony took place very close to the beach and sun-bed mattresses were laid out on the floor. The Shaman had brewed his medicine and was chanting over the two large jugs of a horrid looking brown liquid. It looked like puddle water.


Ayahuasca Brew. (Very appetising eh?)

Despite the fear and the apprehension all the crew courageously drank the Ayahuasca. It had a taste of a burnt wood (not that I had tasted burnt wood before!) To be honest it tasted like crap but the combination of excitement and fear acted as a spoon full of sugar and it really did help the medicine go down.

I could see it written in the faces of the gang that it was a case of ‘Oh OK it’s in us now so no turning back‘. I felt the same way and most people headed for their beds within five minutes of taking it. Ayahuascha acts rather quickly and within ten to fifteen minutes it makes you lie down. It literally knocks you off your feet. We hadn’t eaten for 6 or 7 hours before taking it. It was 8.30 pm when I took my first cup of Ayahuasca.

By 8:45pm it started to take effect on me and I headed for my bed as the sounds around me started to speed up and literally vibrate at a much faster rate. The sound of the sea increased in intensity and the palm trees blew in sequence with it. My heart seemed to join in with the sea and the trees and go along in harmony with them. I had literally ‘joined in’ with the earth, the sea and with the breeze of the air. I was definitely spiritually unified with these elements. I shut my eyes and I saw magical colours swirling around forming patterns and shapes. I was actually starting to enjoy this brew! For those that think I was just shit faced on a par with being on LSD…. Forget it!

I opened my eyes again for a reality check and saw a wave of colours spread over the area of where all the crew were lying. I felt connected to the surroundings and every soul that was present. I was literally experiencing visions in and from another dimension. A spirit world if you like. I remembered being previously told that I could experience ‘journeys’ after taking Ayahuasca so I shut my eyes again hoping I would be taken to someone or something that I really wanted to see and communicate with. Maybe from a long time ago I thought. To those that have read my book, ‘You will be wiser when you’re older’, I say you may remember the lady in the rainy dress I mention in it?

Suddenly a tunnel appeared and off I went flying down it hoping I would get what I wanted. It was not to be. I was stopped halfway down the tunnel. I started to get disappointed and slightly angry but then a voice appeared from nowhere and a face, a head, of a male appeared in front of me (with my eyes closed). The situation reminded me of the original Superman movie when Superman hears his father (Marlon Brando) for the first time in his own world that he created at the polar cap.


The face (Head) in my vision (eyes closed) resembled this picture above

‘You are not here to lie down on your back Matthew’ the voice said. ‘You are here to show your true colours’ the voice added. The voice then told me that I was to stand up and face a challenge from the ‘spirit world’ and this would in turn allow me to achieve my aims and the aims of others in the crew, in the five-sense world. I was shown my broken watch (It had literally fell apart just moments before I drank the Ayahuasca) and I was told that I must not break my watch again at the next ceremony no matter what happens. I had to keep my eyes wide open. I was also told to pass on a symbolic vessel when the time was right to one of the crew and also get the blessing of the person’s blood ‘elders’ for doing so. I was told, by the head, that that the person I was to pass the vessel to was to going to carry out some very special tasks in the coming years and had been chosen to carry out these tasks because he had created a symbolic shield around himself which would keep him away from disinformation and give him the intuition he needed for guidance. I was told that the ceremony that night was mainly for his benefit and the collective spiritual energies that night were to endorse his shield and rid his path of negative spirits that may hinder him. I was told that a lot of effort had gone into creating the eco-lodge and although most of the people that had created it had no idea what they had created, it was a very special place.

I was also told the Shaman would create the atmosphere for these things to happen through his magic, skills and courage and I would be assisted by the organisers of the workshop. I was also told that I needed the assistance of ‘The Rain’ to keep me on my feet and I had to officially request the help of the rain. I thought at the time that rain in Brazil in September was a rarity and indeed the people running the Heart of the Initiate workshop confirmed this. I automatically said to the face ‘Show me The Rain and I will not let you down’.

I was then told to remember who I was and to shift my arse!

I staggered to the toilet, dizzy as buggery. I felt like I either wanted to vomit or shit. I had one hand on my stomach and one covering my arse hole and obviously my face must have been a picture too. Sorry to be blunt but those that have taken the brew will know what I mean. I looked all around and everyone was led down on his or her beds apart from the Shaman and his assistant. I looked at my broken watch and it was 9:50 pm. I had only been affected by the ayahuasca for one hour. I knew it could affect you for up to six hours. I knew that my experience was not over. I looked at the moon; there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. I thought there’s no flipping chance of it raining around here.

I looked at the moon again and it literally turned into a cup and saucer right in front of my eyes, like something out of Alice in Wonderland. I staggered back to my bed. I was told that when the moon was no longer a cup and saucer then I would no longer see what I was being shown. The show would be over so to speak. Over the next hour I started to look around me and I tried to focus my eye on each individual member of the ‘crew’. One or two of them were starting to come out of the initial bombshell effect that Ayahuasca medicine has on you.

As I focused on them their faces and bodies changed rapidly into different shapes and sizes. It was just like I was being shown their previous lives that they had lived in this world and what they physically looked like. They all appeared to have lived many lives and experienced many deaths. A thousand lives came into my mind. Each and every one of them had suffered a thousand deaths. I was seeing all these lives flash past me, just like flicking a pack of cards.

I sat on my bed gob-smacked. I realised that there was a very special group of people in attendance. I got a strong urge to pass on the symbolic vessel, a symbolic bottle, to one of the crew whilst they were carrying out a ritual with the Shaman, so I did. Just like the head had told me I would. They were sat close to the Fire. I had brought the symbolic bottle to Brazil from the UK but before that it had been in some very symbolic locations around the world, including the Great Pyramid at Giza and the Temple at Abu Simbel.

I knew it wasn’t a coincidence. I knew when I was packing my things to go to Bahia that events were very important. I packed some things that I had only previously taken to ancient sites. I also wore desert boots, which had great symbolic meaning to me, and I wore my white panama hat that has also been on some very symbolic heads and in some very symbolic places, all around the world.

Anyway I eventually came around from my journey and to my surprise I wasn’t sick nor did I have the two-bob-bits (The dreaded shits). We ate soup and drank coffee to break our fast a round 3am. After each ceremony there is a group meeting later in the same day or the next day to discuss our experiences. I tried to tell the crew what I had experienced and I said that I wasn’t there to experience what they were experiencing. I told them that between them they symbolised everything in this world. Their collective symbolism from this lifetime and many others meant that no stone was left unturned and if they were all put under trance (on the same wavelength, not subject to being dumbed down, vibrating at the same rate) then they would become a very powerful spiritual force indeed. It is important that you grasp the idea that collective spiritual power can create a physical, but invisible, multidimensional energy.

Anyway. I knew that they had to experience what they were experiencing and that they had to get through the ceremony the way they thought was best for them. I also knew that their presence was vitally important not only to me but others in the crew. Indeed each and every one of them was just as important as the other. Each of them being part of a jigsaw picture of a power drill and if one piece was missing then the drill would not work. I knew some of them didn’t really want to be there, drinking Ayahuasca, but I knew some had been led there in spirit and they were carrying out the spiritual promises they made long ago. They promised to collectively form a picture of a drill if you like.

The Ayahuasca ceremonies were on alternative days but in between times we had group discussion sessions and lectures. The setting at Bahia is superb and I knew as soon as I set foot in the eco- lodge resort that it was a very symbolic place. Again if there is a way for any of you to take part in a workshop or you have a strong urge and the means to do so, then I highly recommend that you contact Ralph or Peter at ‘Heart of the Initiate’.

The Second Ceremony

Drink till I drop down with one eye on my clothes

The second ceremony took place during the day. I wore my hat and my desert boots. The threat of rain (It had been raining on and off all morning) caused us all to place our beds under cover, all close together. The Shaman had to bring his fire under the same roof also. We were not going to be allowed the luxury of literally lying on the beach with a big open fire as we did on the first occasion. Everything was tightly compact and we were concentrated in a very small area.

The shaman carried out his ceremonial duties and I drank the Ayahuasca medicine knowing full well that I had to ‘stay on my feet’ (not lie down) and face the music. I hadn’t to break my watch so to speak. I watched all the rest of the group take their drink and then lay down. I felt the same effects come over me as they had done two nights earlier. This time it was in daylight though.

The sound changed all around and I felt and heard an increase in the speed of the tide. The trees started rustling like they were speaking to me. The birds in the sky changed and they kept doing the same maneuvers just like they were trapped in a time loop or like in a ‘groundhog day’ sort of situation. If I looked away from the birds and then looked at them again they would simply carry out the same actions they had done before. It was like time was looping on itself.

I looked around and it seemed like all the plants and trees were trying to send me to lie down. The music of the Shaman was also very hypnotic and everything seemed to put me into a trance. The urge to give up and lay down was overwhelming but I knew I couldn’t do that. The temptation was immense. Within 45 minutes I knew the Ayahuasca was at its most potent. I started to pace up and down like a caged animal. I looked at the crew. They were all flat out under one roof and I smiled to myself. Only the shaman and his assistant were active. They were looking over the crew, but so was I.

The magical music played by the Shaman kept the crew in a trance like state and I knew instinctively that this situation was important.

The desire for me to just lie down and shut my eyes was incredible. Only once did I nearly succumb to the temptation. I was just about to say ‘fuck it I’m beat’ when my watch literally turned into a bright light and flashed my eyes as though to say ‘no you don’t you bugger you are not beat yet’. It was just like the flashy thing in the MIB movie but instead of taking away my memory it restored it. A positive flashy thing!

I sparked into life and started pacing about and using my arms like a boxer when shadow boxing. I was stood in front of the swimming pool, which was in an elevated position overlooking the sea and the beach. My attention was attracted to the waves of the sea. Then all of a sudden the waves grew in size until they were on a par with the size of a tidal wave. I got the urge to scarper rather sharpish as it appeared the tidal wave was going to drown me. I turned my head quickly away to my right, and the sound of the waves went away, only to see three raised serpents hissing at me. I was very scared, just for a moment, as it appeared they were going to strike (bite) me. I was forced to turn my head back towards the sea. The tidal waves had disappeared but as soon as I started to look at the sea the waves increased rapidly in size again and the sound increased also. I turned my head to my left and my eyes were attracted to a palm tree and at the top of this palm tree were several giant bees. The more I looked at them the bigger and noisier they got. The only way to get rid of the visions was to turn away. Remember I had vowed to stay on my feet and keep my eyes wide open.

No matter where I looked something happened that made me want to shut my eyes. I decided to stare at the swimming pool and just for a moment I felt like jumping in. The ripples of the water turned into snakes if I looked at them for too long so that vision slightly put me off taking a dip.

The urge to lie down and shut my eyes increased again. I thought about the flashy watch. What am I suppose to do now I thought? The song Goodbye Blackberry Way’ by The Move came to mind. So I did just that…. I bloody moved!

I staggered for a drink of water I passed the group and they were mostly flat out on their beds. I drank and I drank the water as in defiance to something. I carried a bottle of water back to my previous position.I looked at the sea again and sure enough the waves started to increase again. Out of the corner of one eye I saw the serpents rise again to my right. I took a swig of water and held it in my mouth. I watched as the waves grew and when they were at maximum height I suddenly turned to my right and spat the water at the serpents. Right in their mush.

Take that you bounders’ sort of thing, to put it mildly.

The serpents looked at me in a state shock but they immediately stopped hissing and then disappeared. I sat down for a while albeit with my feet on the floor. I drank the remaining water from the bottle and went to get another. The crew were all still flat out on their beds and the music of the shaman kept them in a trance like state. I smiled to myself again.


Picture shows the swimming pool. The crew were concentrated under the roof far centre on the second and third ceremonies and the nearest Red Cross is where I was for most of the second ceremony

I grabbed another bottle of water and returned to my position in front of the pool. I looked at the sea again and sure enough the vibrations rose rapidly and another massive tidal wave appeared in the distance. I looked out of my left eye and saw the giant bees again, festering in a palm tree type bush. Again when the tidal wave approached me I spun round and sprayed the bees with water from my bottle.

The water went straight through their wings and dissolved them. The bees then fell to the floor and they all started tap dancing like Fred Astair. (I kid you not) I started laughing to myself and they disappeared. I sat down again with my feet on the ground. I suddenly felt a presence behind me and a female voice said ‘It will come from the sea so be prepared for it baby’.

I then looked at the swimming pool and it turned into a mass of tiny black vipers swimming in milk. It was starting to go dark, it was now around 6pm. I looked over to the crew and one or two were coming out of the initial shell-shock period. One symbolic member of the crew, a Doctor, walked towards me and said ‘we are over the highest point’, meaning the highest part of the effect of Ayahuasca. I thought if you can’t trust a Doctors opinion about the effects of medicine then who the bloody hell can you trust! I knew then I was going to stay on my feet. Thanks Doc!

The constant work carried out by the Shaman kept the crew under trance and many members of the crew were in and out of dream state or should I say in and out of this world?

I grabbed another bottle of water and whilst I was getting this water from the Shaman’s location the blood elder of the person I gave the symbolic vessel to had appeared where I had previously sat in the shelter directly behind me (see picture with red cross above) I immediately sprayed him with my eau de cologne and I asked him if he liked it. He said he did.

I then headed to the small fence that separated the eco-lodge resort land from the sandy beach. I drank the water apart from the last mouthful and I spat that onto the beach. I then vigorously paced up and down and at the same time I banged/ tapped my now empty water bottle on the fence in the form of some tune that I didn’t understand. I was a bloody good drummer though. (Keith Moon – eat your heart out) I knew I was teasing something but I had no idea what. I had no control over myself during this period and it was purely an action brought on through automatic physical and spiritual direction. I have experienced this a few times in my life.

I then picked up a stick and drew a line in the sand. I then placed the empty bottle on the line. It was sunset. I then immediately vomited violently over the bottle. It is called ‘purging’ when it occurs after drinking Ayahuasca. I call it ‘puking your ring up’ no matter what caused it. I then heard a voice behind me say ‘what ya doing’ I turned round to see my wife looking at me! No bees or serpents, just my wife looking at her husband like he was a head the ball.

Well then, my little truth seekers, what would you have told her in my position? Where could I start? I felt like a teenager would feel after being caught masturbating with the pages of a porn magazine opened up wide in front of them. What should I do first I thought… zip up my trousers or shut the magazine and hide it?

I told her I was just shit-faced and had unknowingly wandered down on to the beach. She then led me back to the rest of the group where I met one of the organisers. I sprayed him with my eau de cologne. He liked it too. He might have thought I was a head the ball too but he still liked it.

The major effects of the Ayahuasca during my journey in the second ceremony were now wearing off. I hadn’t broken my watch either.

I told the group, at the group session the next day, that I had been in a ‘battle’ during my journey at the second ceremony. Let me tell you all now that it wasn’t an easy battle and I nearly failed. I realise most of you will believe that I was just hallucinating but even if I was I still nearly failed. The pain of defeat is still the same whilst hallucinating or in another dimension just like it is in five sense illusionary reality.


I had hoped that my spiritual challenge was over after the second ceremony but I knew it wasn’t. I knew that something else had to be done and I knew that it had to be done in the spirit world (another dimension) it didn’t really matter if it was a silly hallucination or not, I still had to live it.

Visions under Ayahuasca
Visions under Ayahuasca


Visions under Ayahuasca

The Third Ceremony

I’m going back soon – home to get that Baboon
Who cut up my eye – tore up my Levi’s

The third ceremony quickly came around. The Rain had been in attendance all day and the crew was again forced into the same small covered area. People were amazed at the amount of rain for September in Brazil because it is usually dry, pretty fair, sunny weather. I knew it was meant to be and I knew I couldn’t cope without the Rain.

We all watched the Shaman carry out the ceremony for the final time and we all drank the Ayahuasca. I had for some reason placed a chair near the Shamans fire shortly after drinking the medicine. The rest of the crew lay down on their beds but I knew that I had to stay on my feet again. Those that have taken a cup full of Ayahuasca will know how difficult it is, during the first hour or two after drinking it, to just stand up.

I again felt directed to take up an elevated position near the pool looking out to sea. This time it was very dark. I wore my hat, just has I had done on the second ceremony. Sure enough within fifteen to twenty minutes of taking the medicine everything started to change. The noise of the sea increased again and the trees began to sway in tune with the sounds of the sea.

Again my heartbeat raised and unified with the Earth, the Sea and the Air. The magical chants of the Shaman and his music put the whole crew into a trance and I am sure that most of them were seeing visions. The lights in the sky stood out as the stars literally fell down forming beautiful patterns in front of my eyes. The clouds just seemed to disappear.

I waited for something to happen and the urge to just lie down and shut my eyes was tremendously hard to defy but I knew I had to stand my ground again no matter what. I was determined to see out whatever I had to see out. The love that brought the rain was keeping me on my feet.

Suddenly a small illuminated lamppost next to me turned into a raised Cobra with bright red eyes. I knew I was stepping in and out of this world. The longer I looked at it the bigger it got. I felt it was going to bite me and swallow me. I looked away and paced up and down whilst still wearing my hat. I then approached the Cobra again but as I got near to it I turned around and pointed my arse in its direction. I bent over like I was going to break wind (fart). As I have said Ayahuasca is probably the best laxative in the world and I believe the Cobra just didn’t dare risk staying there when I pointed my arsehole it its direction. Maybe it had hallucinations of being sprayed with shite, I don’t know if it did or not but I do know it buggered off!

I looked out to sea and saw two bright streaks of yellow coming towards the beach. I felt a sense of dread. I sat down but again my feet never left the ground. I heard a voice inside myself telling me to expose myself and represent the colours of the crew. I was relieved to comprehend that ‘exposing’ myself didn’t mean me showing my arse, mooning, like a drunken idiot but just meant revealing myself. Showing myself. Coming out.

I suddenly got the urge to approach the Shamans fire. As I approached the fire I noticed someone sitting in the chair that I had placed there earlier. I kindly asked the elder or the man in charge if he would kindly place my hat on the fire. I also placed some eau de cologne on his wrist for him to wear and asked him if he liked it (The aroma). He said he did and he then placed my hat on the fire and proceeded to burn the bugger! I knew I was symbolically revealing myself by doing this.

The well travelled Hat that is no more. (Sob) Ralph Miller burnt it!

I grabbed a bottle of water and returned to my position, obviously hatless. I looked out to sea and noticed that the two yellow streaks had now reached the beach. I had the strongest urge to go and meet with these yellow streaks. I moved round to the front of the pool, nearer the beach, and then made why way down to the area in front of the beach.

There was a little segmented stone type ornamental pathway leading to the beach, indeed the same pathway ran around the whole eco-village. As I approached I realised that the two yellow streaks were really just one. Just prior to reaching the small fence, separating the beach from the eco-lodge, I saw the yellow streak flash by at tremendous speed directly under my feet. It literally shook me off my feet and I fell over. Like a drunk would do after filling his belly full of ale.

I focused my vision as I stood up and the yellow streak turned into a giant snake. The path I was walking on had turned into a massive snake! I was literally riding a giant snake but I wasn’t going anywhere. I was staying in the same place and the snake was whizzing by under my feet. I put my arms out to help me gain balance like I was riding on a skateboard. The head and tail of the snake were joined together like Oruboros with the snake’s head gripping the snake’s tail in its mouth. It was continuous and it was hard to know where the head was and where the tail was.


The path that turned into a snake. Seems silly now but I tell you the truth, it turned into a snake.

All of a sudden I stamped my right foot down and the snakes head popped up as in pain, dropping its tail at the same time. Without thinking I put my arms around the neck of the snake just like Tarzan having a pop at a crocodile would. I wrapped my legs around it too like I was going to hump it. The snake then vomited and a red assed baboon came out of the yellow snakes mouth, all wrapped in goo like a newborn baby is. The baboon was holding a large eye with the pupil shaped as a number three or a letter m on its side. The baboon took one look at me and started to run towards the beach. I dropped the snake and ran after the baboon. Its red arse was glowing very brightly like a neon sign saying ‘kick me’.

I swung a leg in an attempt to boot it up the arse but I missed (so no emails from the RSPCA please) I started screaming and shouting at this baboon and in its haste to escape it dropped the eye it was carrying very near to the place where I was sick and where I had drawn a line in the sand on the beach. It was also the place where I had placed an empty bottle during the journey I experienced at the second ceremony.

My shouting at the baboon must have sounded like signs of distress and I must have alerted the elder of the ceremony and the Shaman’s assistant to my plight because they came to me asking what all the noise was about. I felt a bit embarrassed. I knew it was over and time for me to rest and after staying on my feet for two ceremonies I really was ready to collapse on to the floor.

I went to my mattress and tried to make sense of what had happened I shut my eyes for only the second time in three ceremonies. The same male face (Head) (like superman’s dad) from the first ceremony appeared again. He plainly ‘said’ or I understood him to say; ‘It’s nearly done but when it is say so’. I was shown a ‘hole’ between this world and a sort of paradise world. In-between this world and the paradise world I was shown a world of imprisonment and misery and I was shown that the rulers in that world of fear like to keep this world in the same image of that world.

This in-between world keeps the human race as prisoners and keeps us in the lowest form of trance possible making a true escape impossible.

I was also shown that the powerful crew that had been put together had managed to drill a symbolic hole right through the negative band of energy (in-between world) showing me that collective spiritual energy can create physical invisible energy. I was shown that representatives from the paradise world beyond the in-between world were now present in this world as human beings and were breaking out of the trance state they were put under by the in-between world, just like everyone is put in trance.

I was told that ‘when these representatives were united there will be fireworks in this world’ and the face winked at me and smiled. The face then faded away. I wanted it to come back and tell me more but it didn’t. I knew my journeys to other worlds in Brazil were over.

I got up and noticed the elder of the ceremony (the bugger that burnt my hat!) was sat in a chair near my head. I got up and got a final bottle of water and looked to the stars and drank the bottle in one. I then gave the elder the empty bottle and he kindly took it.

That was the end of my journeys under the trance of Ayahuasca and the guidance of the Shaman. I must say that even though I experienced some traumatic scenes I felt perfectly at ease after each ceremony. After the third ceremony I asked another symbolic member of the group if he knew the title of a song by Johnny Nash. He said Johnny Cash. I said No Johnny Nash.

‘I can see clearly now’ I said. ‘The Rain has gone’ someone else said.
The day after third ceremony was a cloudless hot and sunny day and all the crew laid around in the sunshine including me. I was exhausted but felt that it really was a beautiful day. I knew that without the rain I couldn’t have experienced my latter two journeys and I knew only love had brought the Rain.

On the last evening we had tobacco-offering ritual to carry out. We had previously made ritual offerings to the Earth and the Sea using symbolic stones. I used a bloodstone. For the tobacco offering every one of us had to wrap tobacco in little different coloured cloth parcels and attach them on a string. Just like a string of pearls.

Colours used in final offering

We then burnt them individually on the Fire and each said a few words as part as a closing ceremony and when I threw my coloured parcels of tobacco on the Fire. I said ‘It’s done’ and it was on that day.

Oh my brothers it was done.


So there you have it. I have tried to be as honest and as accurate as I can when describing my journeys. Obviously the vast majority of people will see it as though I had a ‘trip’ brought on by drugs that cause hallucinations. I must say that not long ago I would have thought the same thing. Remember I have never taken any substances before so I have nothing to compare Ayahuasca to. I can drink a bucket full of ale though and still stay on my feet.

I was also traumatically awakened to my hypnotically suppressed childhood memories in 1999. I must admit that Ayahuasca did seem to appear to transport me to see another dimension that resembled my childhood experiences and I certainly reacted to what I was seeing.

So what can I really tell you about Ayahuasca? I have always said long before I went near Ayahuasca, and it is recorded, that I believe the masses are dumbed down and we are forced to spiritually surrender ourselves to a deceptive force lifetime after lifetime. To put it in simple terms our third eye is removed. Yes a removal of our third eye (our intuition) takes place leaving us at the mercy of the deceptive force that caused the loss of sight in the first place. Can Ayahuasca medicine replace that third eye if only for a few hours?

Far more intelligent people than me know about these things and can explain it better too. I have just reported what happened to me as it appeared to me. Some claim that pineal gland (that separates the two sides of the brain) is affected by Ayahuasca and in turn this allows the individual taking it to access both sides of the brain. Again I don’t even pretend to know if this is true but I will say that I believe the human race is somehow dumbed down to the levels of a plastic dog turd from a joke shop and there may be something in this. Here is a brief explanation of the pineal gland.

Ayahuasca is said to contain the natural brain hormone ‘DMT’ and this DMT is only usually increased when you are born and when you die. Entering and leaving this dimension. So it is possible that Ayahuasca supplies you with inter-dimensional visions during your life by increasing DMT levels. Although from another viewpoint reduction of DMT levels may explain the dumbing down process. Here is a brief explanation of DMT.

Can drinking Ayahuasca raise your ‘vibrational state’, for want of better words, and enable you to see into other dimensions? Can the Shaman create changes in consciousness that effect not only individuals but also collective groups? Can the Shaman use his skills to create a collective hypnotic trance like state just like I believe a deceptive race of serpents have hypnotised the masses in this world to live in the trance that creates all the misery in this world?

I am sure that the crew put together by PP and others close to him know the answers to the questions that I ask about the Shaman are true.

The crew I was with actually felt true connection with each other simply because we were all on a level playing field. There were no material barriers, there were no class divisions and there were no differences between us whatsoever. None. We lived as equals if only for a short period. Our true spirituality was allowed to surface simply because we were allowed to create our own world for once and in that world there were no divisions, just human beings collectively searching for some truth and a way home. We allowed each other to experience what we wanted or needed to experience without restrictions. We allowed each other to be free. I only witnessed positive results in the people that took Ayahuasca despite some of the people having journeys that were not all fluffy bunny experiences. I always felt good after the ceremonies. The collective spiritual power of the group made sure of that.

Ayahuasca has confirmed to me that this world is an illusion created by mass thought. Sadly I believe a very deceptive force has hijacked the collective thoughts of the human race and we live lives that the hijackers want us to live. I believe we can change this world by changing mass thought and if the majority of minds can wake up to what is really going on then a massive spiritual shift is possible and we will reconnect with the paradise world that I have been shown and seen. There will be no prison warders and the world will not be a prison anymore. If this shift happens you will not be forced to surrender your spirit and live on your knees in misery in this world ever again.

A fairy tale is it? Matthew Delooze is just another lunatic shooting his gob off whilst being high off magic potions is he? A stupid dreamer that knows bugger all and is living in a delusion am I? Well if I am it is a bloody prolonged and vivid delusion then and my psychosis never fades and to be honest if I am suffering from psychosis then I really hope that I never get sane again and end up like the bloke next door. I really do.

So I tell you the truth when I say representatives from the one true consciousness are here in human form in this world to help this world shift. They can only open up the spiritual floodgates and help if this world really wants to ‘shift’. It is time to think for yourselves and let your intuition tell you what you should do in the coming months and years. I have said enough in this article and it is nearly time for me to go. I say let your intuition direct you in the future, not your credit card statement or a lying politician. Your subconscious is currently being reminded of who you really are and when you remember it will be a trustworthy guide. So follow it. It is a difficult time for a lot of us.


Some force had subconsciously created the urge in the crew to attend the workshop. It’s not easy for some people to drink such things as Ayahuasca and I acknowledge the sheer bravery of all those people who drank it, especially those who, on a five-sense level, didn’t really want to swallow it. I can only suggest to those that didn’t want to drink it that your subconscious brought you to Bahia that week because of the spiritual symbolism you carry and that you spiritually promised to do so (sadly you cannot remember the promises you made whilst you are in this world). No one broke his or her spiritual promises at Bahia.

I would like to thank PP and those close to him for putting together the crew and making our week at Bahia possible. I also would like to thank those who found themselves at Bahia through their own spiritual path for making it possible because your involvement was just as important as everyone else. I am excited for all of you and all your futures.

To Ralph, Peter, Rod and the delightful Fiona and the rest of the staff at Heart of the Initiate I say a very big thank you, just for being you and the wonderful thing you have created. Again anyone wishing to know more about Heart of the Initiate please visit their site. It’s a mine of information with some very good articles and other information, including some very good stuff from Ralph and Peter. Ralph and Peters skills are many and Ralph has even become an expert hat burner as well! Here is a link to articles at the Heart of the Initiate website.


I realise the vast majority of people haven’t the means to get to Brazil and take part in workshops and that is why I have opened my heart and put my experiences on show in this article. If you have read this article carefully then my experiences are also now in you and you have seen and will carry the same symbolism and the same colours as me. (Without having to puke your ring up or worry that your arsehole was going to explode or indeed worrying your mother about the state of your underwear, I might add!)

I realise you will have totally different experiences than me if you attend a workshop but to those who will never attend a workshop I say you now know as much as me about ayahuasca.

Last but not least, by a long chalk, I thank the Shaman and his lovely assistant Sarah for the sheer effort and hard graft they put in during the ceremonies. I am sure their work will not go unrewarded.
May love reign o’er you all.

Matthew Delooze 21st Sept 2007

Copyright © Matthew Delooze, 2007. All Rights Reserved.