Only Love Can Bring The Rain
Drinking Ayahuasca in Bahia, September 2007
By Matthew Delooze
A beach is a place where a man can feel,
He’s the only soul in the world that’s real
But I see a face coming through the haze
I remember him from those crazy days
It’s not easy to start to describe my experiences in Brazil so please bear with me as I try to do just that.
I am fast approaching 50 years of age and I have never taken any substances or drugs of any kind throughout this life in this world life. I really haven’t smoked a joint or sniffed any white powders. I have drunk a lot of ale during my life though.
After a series of events in early 2007 I received an invitation from a Mr PP to visit the eco- lodge resort in Bahia, Brazil and attend an ‘Ayahuasca Workshop’. During this workshop I was to drink the ancient medicine on three occasions. Here is a link to the Heart of the Initiate website. I will say to anyone that is in the position or inclined to take part in an Ayahuasca workshop that they won’t find a better one than the one at Bahia. Not one. If any novice out there wants to read up on Shamans… here is a basic description.
Having met PP some months earlier at Temple Bar in London I soon realised that he was a man that genuinely sought the truth and he was actually willing to walk the walk to do so. He told me he was putting a crew together to visit Brazil and carry out three Ayahuasca ceremonies and he wanted me there too. Obviously I pondered on the thought why a man like PP would invite a man like me to join his crew.
I felt like I was standing on the edge of Vesuvius but I knew in my heart that I would take up his kind offer and go. I am very glad that I did. I am well pleased and I was not negatively beguiled in anyway. PP is one of the very few people I have met that actually seeks the truth. I am becoming very disillusioned with certain sections of the conspiracy /spiritualists communities and I fear that ‘yuppies’ are taking over the asylum so to speak, where money and ego are becoming the only tools to create information. In my opinion the same mentality that raped and pillaged the material fads and material fashions of the past is trying to do the same to the spiritual events currently in progress in this world. Please be warned that a sheep is a sheep no matter what pen it is led to.
I arrived in Bahia on the 1st September 2007after a very long journey including 3 planes, 1 boat, 1 train, two buses and a land rover. I hadn’t a clue what I was doing there! PP’s crew included some powerful and wealthy people and I initially felt out of place and so did my wife, as she was the only female present in the crew. The rest of the crew soon put us at ease (thanks lads) and my wife soon found other female company with the wonderful staff at the eco-lodge resort.
The crew soon bonded and I can see that the events of the long journey had caused us to unite in spirit long before we actually arrived at Bahia. It was just like we had done it, or planned it, all before. Maybe we had? We settled in easily and before we knew it was time for the first ceremony. Please remember that I hadn’t taken any substances, drugs or ancient medicines in my life before and neither had the majority of the crew.
The majority of the crew were apprehensive and who can blame us because lets face it we weren’t just going to have a drink of orange juice here and eat a chocolate biscuit were we? We were going to take Ayahuasca, which is a very powerful mind and spirit altering medicine. We had been previously warned that Ayahuasca might make us vomit or shit ourselves stupid or both! Not the most positive of descriptive ways to encourage people to take it is it?
“Oh, by the way, Matthew you are likely to spew your guts up or shite through the eye of a needle after you drink this stuff… do you want one cup or two my dear!”
I had visions of my late mother appearing in the forthcoming visions I was about to experience, wagging her finger whilst saying: “Have you got clean underpants on laddie? You soon won’t have me laddie boy so I hope you have brought a clean pair for when they cart you off to hospital! Go on get shit faced on drugs you silly bugger… but don’t you dare show me up at the hospital and turn up with dirty underpants on” (I swear that’s exactly how my Mam would have seen the situation) Anyway let’s get on eh?
The First Ceremony
What is it? I’ll take it
The first ceremony took place very close to the beach and sun-bed mattresses were laid out on the floor. The Shaman had brewed his medicine and was chanting over the two large jugs of a horrid looking brown liquid. It looked like puddle water.
Ayahuasca Brew. (Very appetising eh?)
Despite the fear and the apprehension all the crew courageously drank the Ayahuasca. It had a taste of a burnt wood (not that I had tasted burnt wood before!) To be honest it tasted like crap but the combination of excitement and fear acted as a spoon full of sugar and it really did help the medicine go down.
I could see it written in the faces of the gang that it was a case of ‘Oh OK it’s in us now so no turning back‘. I felt the same way and most people headed for their beds within five minutes of taking it. Ayahuascha acts rather quickly and within ten to fifteen minutes it makes you lie down. It literally knocks you off your feet. We hadn’t eaten for 6 or 7 hours before taking it. It was 8.30 pm when I took my first cup of Ayahuasca.
By 8:45pm it started to take effect on me and I headed for my bed as the sounds around me started to speed up and literally vibrate at a much faster rate. The sound of the sea increased in intensity and the palm trees blew in sequence with it. My heart seemed to join in with the sea and the trees and go along in harmony with them. I had literally ‘joined in’ with the earth, the sea and with the breeze of the air. I was definitely spiritually unified with these elements. I shut my eyes and I saw magical colours swirling around forming patterns and shapes. I was actually starting to enjoy this brew! For those that think I was just shit faced on a par with being on LSD…. Forget it!
I opened my eyes again for a reality check and saw a wave of colours spread over the area of where all the crew were lying. I felt connected to the surroundings and every soul that was present. I was literally experiencing visions in and from another dimension. A spirit world if you like. I remembered being previously told that I could experience ‘journeys’ after taking Ayahuasca so I shut my eyes again hoping I would be taken to someone or something that I really wanted to see and communicate with. Maybe from a long time ago I thought. To those that have read my book, ‘You will be wiser when you’re older’, I say you may remember the lady in the rainy dress I mention in it?
Suddenly a tunnel appeared and off I went flying down it hoping I would get what I wanted. It was not to be. I was stopped halfway down the tunnel. I started to get disappointed and slightly angry but then a voice appeared from nowhere and a face, a head, of a male appeared in front of me (with my eyes closed). The situation reminded me of the original Superman movie when Superman hears his father (Marlon Brando) for the first time in his own world that he created at the polar cap.
The face (Head) in my vision (eyes closed) resembled this picture above
‘You are not here to lie down on your back Matthew’ the voice said. ‘You are here to show your true colours’ the voice added. The voice then told me that I was to stand up and face a challenge from the ‘spirit world’ and this would in turn allow me to achieve my aims and the aims of others in the crew, in the five-sense world. I was shown my broken watch (It had literally fell apart just moments before I drank the Ayahuasca) and I was told that I must not break my watch again at the next ceremony no matter what happens. I had to keep my eyes wide open. I was also told to pass on a symbolic vessel when the time was right to one of the crew and also get the blessing of the person’s blood ‘elders’ for doing so. I was told, by the head, that that the person I was to pass the vessel to was to going to carry out some very special tasks in the coming years and had been chosen to carry out these tasks because he had created a symbolic shield around himself which would keep him away from disinformation and give him the intuition he needed for guidance. I was told that the ceremony that night was mainly for his benefit and the collective spiritual energies that night were to endorse his shield and rid his path of negative spirits that may hinder him. I was told that a lot of effort had gone into creating the eco-lodge and although most of the people that had created it had no idea what they had created, it was a very special place.
I was also told the Shaman would create the atmosphere for these things to happen through his magic, skills and courage and I would be assisted by the organisers of the workshop. I was also told that I needed the assistance of ‘The Rain’ to keep me on my feet and I had to officially request the help of the rain. I thought at the time that rain in Brazil in September was a rarity and indeed the people running the Heart of the Initiate workshop confirmed this. I automatically said to the face ‘Show me The Rain and I will not let you down’.
I was then told to remember who I was and to shift my arse!
I staggered to the toilet, dizzy as buggery. I felt like I either wanted to vomit or shit. I had one hand on my stomach and one covering my arse hole and obviously my face must have been a picture too. Sorry to be blunt but those that have taken the brew will know what I mean. I looked all around and everyone was led down on his or her beds apart from the Shaman and his assistant. I looked at my broken watch and it was 9:50 pm. I had only been affected by the ayahuasca for one hour. I knew it could affect you for up to six hours. I knew that my experience was not over. I looked at the moon; there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. I thought there’s no flipping chance of it raining around here.
I looked at the moon again and it literally turned into a cup and saucer right in front of my eyes, like something out of Alice in Wonderland. I staggered back to my bed. I was told that when the moon was no longer a cup and saucer then I would no longer see what I was being shown. The show would be over so to speak. Over the next hour I started to look around me and I tried to focus my eye on each individual member of the ‘crew’. One or two of them were starting to come out of the initial bombshell effect that Ayahuasca medicine has on you.
As I focused on them their faces and bodies changed rapidly into different shapes and sizes. It was just like I was being shown their previous lives that they had lived in this world and what they physically looked like. They all appeared to have lived many lives and experienced many deaths. A thousand lives came into my mind. Each and every one of them had suffered a thousand deaths. I was seeing all these lives flash past me, just like flicking a pack of cards.
I sat on my bed gob-smacked. I realised that there was a very special group of people in attendance. I got a strong urge to pass on the symbolic vessel, a symbolic bottle, to one of the crew whilst they were carrying out a ritual with the Shaman, so I did. Just like the head had told me I would. They were sat close to the Fire. I had brought the symbolic bottle to Brazil from the UK but before that it had been in some very symbolic locations around the world, including the Great Pyramid at Giza and the Temple at Abu Simbel.
I knew it wasn’t a coincidence. I knew when I was packing my things to go to Bahia that events were very important. I packed some things that I had only previously taken to ancient sites. I also wore desert boots, which had great symbolic meaning to me, and I wore my white panama hat that has also been on some very symbolic heads and in some very symbolic places, all around the world.
Anyway I eventually came around from my journey and to my surprise I wasn’t sick nor did I have the two-bob-bits (The dreaded shits). We ate soup and drank coffee to break our fast a round 3am. After each ceremony there is a group meeting later in the same day or the next day to discuss our experiences. I tried to tell the crew what I had experienced and I said that I wasn’t there to experience what they were experiencing. I told them that between them they symbolised everything in this world. Their collective symbolism from this lifetime and many others meant that no stone was left unturned and if they were all put under trance (on the same wavelength, not subject to being dumbed down, vibrating at the same rate) then they would become a very powerful spiritual force indeed. It is important that you grasp the idea that collective spiritual power can create a physical, but invisible, multidimensional energy.
Anyway. I knew that they had to experience what they were experiencing and that they had to get through the ceremony the way they thought was best for them. I also knew that their presence was vitally important not only to me but others in the crew. Indeed each and every one of them was just as important as the other. Each of them being part of a jigsaw picture of a power drill and if one piece was missing then the drill would not work. I knew some of them didn’t really want to be there, drinking Ayahuasca, but I knew some had been led there in spirit and they were carrying out the spiritual promises they made long ago. They promised to collectively form a picture of a drill if you like.
The Ayahuasca ceremonies were on alternative days but in between times we had group discussion sessions and lectures. The setting at Bahia is superb and I knew as soon as I set foot in the eco- lodge resort that it was a very symbolic place. Again if there is a way for any of you to take part in a workshop or you have a strong urge and the means to do so, then I highly recommend that you contact Ralph or Peter at ‘Heart of the Initiate’.
The Second Ceremony
Drink till I drop down with one eye on my clothes
The second ceremony took place during the day. I wore my hat and my desert boots. The threat of rain (It had been raining on and off all morning) caused us all to place our beds under cover, all close together. The Shaman had to bring his fire under the same roof also. We were not going to be allowed the luxury of literally lying on the beach with a big open fire as we did on the first occasion. Everything was tightly compact and we were concentrated in a very small area.
The shaman carried out his ceremonial duties and I drank the Ayahuasca medicine knowing full well that I had to ‘stay on my feet’ (not lie down) and face the music. I hadn’t to break my watch so to speak. I watched all the rest of the group take their drink and then lay down. I felt the same effects come over me as they had done two nights earlier. This time it was in daylight though.
The sound changed all around and I felt and heard an increase in the speed of the tide. The trees started rustling like they were speaking to me. The birds in the sky changed and they kept doing the same maneuvers just like they were trapped in a time loop or like in a ‘groundhog day’ sort of situation. If I looked away from the birds and then looked at them again they would simply carry out the same actions they had done before. It was like time was looping on itself.
I looked around and it seemed like all the plants and trees were trying to send me to lie down. The music of the Shaman was also very hypnotic and everything seemed to put me into a trance. The urge to give up and lay down was overwhelming but I knew I couldn’t do that. The temptation was immense. Within 45 minutes I knew the Ayahuasca was at its most potent. I started to pace up and down like a caged animal. I looked at the crew. They were all flat out under one roof and I smiled to myself. Only the shaman and his assistant were active. They were looking over the crew, but so was I.
The magical music played by the Shaman kept the crew in a trance like state and I knew instinctively that this situation was important.
The desire for me to just lie down and shut my eyes was incredible. Only once did I nearly succumb to the temptation. I was just about to say ‘fuck it I’m beat’ when my watch literally turned into a bright light and flashed my eyes as though to say ‘no you don’t you bugger you are not beat yet’. It was just like the flashy thing in the MIB movie but instead of taking away my memory it restored it. A positive flashy thing!
I sparked into life and started pacing about and using my arms like a boxer when shadow boxing. I was stood in front of the swimming pool, which was in an elevated position overlooking the sea and the beach. My attention was attracted to the waves of the sea. Then all of a sudden the waves grew in size until they were on a par with the size of a tidal wave. I got the urge to scarper rather sharpish as it appeared the tidal wave was going to drown me. I turned my head quickly away to my right, and the sound of the waves went away, only to see three raised serpents hissing at me. I was very scared, just for a moment, as it appeared they were going to strike (bite) me. I was forced to turn my head back towards the sea. The tidal waves had disappeared but as soon as I started to look at the sea the waves increased rapidly in size again and the sound increased also. I turned my head to my left and my eyes were attracted to a palm tree and at the top of this palm tree were several giant bees. The more I looked at them the bigger and noisier they got. The only way to get rid of the visions was to turn away. Remember I had vowed to stay on my feet and keep my eyes wide open.
No matter where I looked something happened that made me want to shut my eyes. I decided to stare at the swimming pool and just for a moment I felt like jumping in. The ripples of the water turned into snakes if I looked at them for too long so that vision slightly put me off taking a dip.
The urge to lie down and shut my eyes increased again. I thought about the flashy watch. What am I suppose to do now I thought? The song ‘Goodbye Blackberry Way’ by The Move came to mind. So I did just that…. I bloody moved!
I staggered for a drink of water I passed the group and they were mostly flat out on their beds. I drank and I drank the water as in defiance to something. I carried a bottle of water back to my previous position.I looked at the sea again and sure enough the waves started to increase again. Out of the corner of one eye I saw the serpents rise again to my right. I took a swig of water and held it in my mouth. I watched as the waves grew and when they were at maximum height I suddenly turned to my right and spat the water at the serpents. Right in their mush.
‘Take that you bounders’ sort of thing, to put it mildly.
The serpents looked at me in a state shock but they immediately stopped hissing and then disappeared. I sat down for a while albeit with my feet on the floor. I drank the remaining water from the bottle and went to get another. The crew were all still flat out on their beds and the music of the shaman kept them in a trance like state. I smiled to myself again.
Picture shows the swimming pool. The crew were concentrated under the roof far centre on the second and third ceremonies and the nearest Red Cross is where I was for most of the second ceremony
I grabbed another bottle of water and returned to my position in front of the pool. I looked at the sea again and sure enough the vibrations rose rapidly and another massive tidal wave appeared in the distance. I looked out of my left eye and saw the giant bees again, festering in a palm tree type bush. Again when the tidal wave approached me I spun round and sprayed the bees with water from my bottle.
The water went straight through their wings and dissolved them. The bees then fell to the floor and they all started tap dancing like Fred Astair. (I kid you not) I started laughing to myself and they disappeared. I sat down again with my feet on the ground. I suddenly felt a presence behind me and a female voice said ‘It will come from the sea so be prepared for it baby’.
I then looked at the swimming pool and it turned into a mass of tiny black vipers swimming in milk. It was starting to go dark, it was now around 6pm. I looked over to the crew and one or two were coming out of the initial shell-shock period. One symbolic member of the crew, a Doctor, walked towards me and said ‘we are over the highest point’, meaning the highest part of the effect of Ayahuasca. I thought if you can’t trust a Doctors opinion about the effects of medicine then who the bloody hell can you trust! I knew then I was going to stay on my feet. Thanks Doc!
The constant work carried out by the Shaman kept the crew under trance and many members of the crew were in and out of dream state or should I say in and out of this world?
I grabbed another bottle of water and whilst I was getting this water from the Shaman’s location the blood elder of the person I gave the symbolic vessel to had appeared where I had previously sat in the shelter directly behind me (see picture with red cross above) I immediately sprayed him with my eau de cologne and I asked him if he liked it. He said he did.
I then headed to the small fence that separated the eco-lodge resort land from the sandy beach. I drank the water apart from the last mouthful and I spat that onto the beach. I then vigorously paced up and down and at the same time I banged/ tapped my now empty water bottle on the fence in the form of some tune that I didn’t understand. I was a bloody good drummer though. (Keith Moon – eat your heart out) I knew I was teasing something but I had no idea what. I had no control over myself during this period and it was purely an action brought on through automatic physical and spiritual direction. I have experienced this a few times in my life.
I then picked up a stick and drew a line in the sand. I then placed the empty bottle on the line. It was sunset. I then immediately vomited violently over the bottle. It is called ‘purging’ when it occurs after drinking Ayahuasca. I call it ‘puking your ring up’ no matter what caused it. I then heard a voice behind me say ‘what ya doing’ I turned round to see my wife looking at me! No bees or serpents, just my wife looking at her husband like he was a head the ball.
Well then, my little truth seekers, what would you have told her in my position? Where could I start? I felt like a teenager would feel after being caught masturbating with the pages of a porn magazine opened up wide in front of them. What should I do first I thought… zip up my trousers or shut the magazine and hide it?
I told her I was just shit-faced and had unknowingly wandered down on to the beach. She then led me back to the rest of the group where I met one of the organisers. I sprayed him with my eau de cologne. He liked it too. He might have thought I was a head the ball too but he still liked it.
The major effects of the Ayahuasca during my journey in the second ceremony were now wearing off. I hadn’t broken my watch either.
I told the group, at the group session the next day, that I had been in a ‘battle’ during my journey at the second ceremony. Let me tell you all now that it wasn’t an easy battle and I nearly failed. I realise most of you will believe that I was just hallucinating but even if I was I still nearly failed. The pain of defeat is still the same whilst hallucinating or in another dimension just like it is in five sense illusionary reality.
I had hoped that my spiritual challenge was over after the second ceremony but I knew it wasn’t. I knew that something else had to be done and I knew that it had to be done in the spirit world (another dimension) it didn’t really matter if it was a silly hallucination or not, I still had to live it.
Visions under Ayahuasca
Visions under Ayahuasca
Visions under Ayahuasca
The Third Ceremony
I’m going back soon – home to get that Baboon
Who cut up my eye – tore up my Levi’s
The third ceremony quickly came around. The Rain had been in attendance all day and the crew was again forced into the same small covered area. People were amazed at the amount of rain for September in Brazil because it is usually dry, pretty fair, sunny weather. I knew it was meant to be and I knew I couldn’t cope without the Rain.
We all watched the Shaman carry out the ceremony for the final time and we all drank the Ayahuasca. I had for some reason placed a chair near the Shamans fire shortly after drinking the medicine. The rest of the crew lay down on their beds but I knew that I had to stay on my feet again. Those that have taken a cup full of Ayahuasca will know how difficult it is, during the first hour or two after drinking it, to just stand up.
I again felt directed to take up an elevated position near the pool looking out to sea. This time it was very dark. I wore my hat, just has I had done on the second ceremony. Sure enough within fifteen to twenty minutes of taking the medicine everything started to change. The noise of the sea increased again and the trees began to sway in tune with the sounds of the sea.
Again my heartbeat raised and unified with the Earth, the Sea and the Air. The magical chants of the Shaman and his music put the whole crew into a trance and I am sure that most of them were seeing visions. The lights in the sky stood out as the stars literally fell down forming beautiful patterns in front of my eyes. The clouds just seemed to disappear.
I waited for something to happen and the urge to just lie down and shut my eyes was tremendously hard to defy but I knew I had to stand my ground again no matter what. I was determined to see out whatever I had to see out. The love that brought the rain was keeping me on my feet.
Suddenly a small illuminated lamppost next to me turned into a raised Cobra with bright red eyes. I knew I was stepping in and out of this world. The longer I looked at it the bigger it got. I felt it was going to bite me and swallow me. I looked away and paced up and down whilst still wearing my hat. I then approached the Cobra again but as I got near to it I turned around and pointed my arse in its direction. I bent over like I was going to break wind (fart). As I have said Ayahuasca is probably the best laxative in the world and I believe the Cobra just didn’t dare risk staying there when I pointed my arsehole it its direction. Maybe it had hallucinations of being sprayed with shite, I don’t know if it did or not but I do know it buggered off!
I looked out to sea and saw two bright streaks of yellow coming towards the beach. I felt a sense of dread. I sat down but again my feet never left the ground. I heard a voice inside myself telling me to expose myself and represent the colours of the crew. I was relieved to comprehend that ‘exposing’ myself didn’t mean me showing my arse, mooning, like a drunken idiot but just meant revealing myself. Showing myself. Coming out.
I suddenly got the urge to approach the Shamans fire. As I approached the fire I noticed someone sitting in the chair that I had placed there earlier. I kindly asked the elder or the man in charge if he would kindly place my hat on the fire. I also placed some eau de cologne on his wrist for him to wear and asked him if he liked it (The aroma). He said he did and he then placed my hat on the fire and proceeded to burn the bugger! I knew I was symbolically revealing myself by doing this.
The well travelled Hat that is no more. (Sob) Ralph Miller burnt it!
I grabbed a bottle of water and returned to my position, obviously hatless. I looked out to sea and noticed that the two yellow streaks had now reached the beach. I had the strongest urge to go and meet with these yellow streaks. I moved round to the front of the pool, nearer the beach, and then made why way down to the area in front of the beach.
There was a little segmented stone type ornamental pathway leading to the beach, indeed the same pathway ran around the whole eco-village. As I approached I realised that the two yellow streaks were really just one. Just prior to reaching the small fence, separating the beach from the eco-lodge, I saw the yellow streak flash by at tremendous speed directly under my feet. It literally shook me off my feet and I fell over. Like a drunk would do after filling his belly full of ale.
I focused my vision as I stood up and the yellow streak turned into a giant snake. The path I was walking on had turned into a massive snake! I was literally riding a giant snake but I wasn’t going anywhere. I was staying in the same place and the snake was whizzing by under my feet. I put my arms out to help me gain balance like I was riding on a skateboard. The head and tail of the snake were joined together like Oruboros with the snake’s head gripping the snake’s tail in its mouth. It was continuous and it was hard to know where the head was and where the tail was.
The path that turned into a snake. Seems silly now but I tell you the truth, it turned into a snake.
All of a sudden I stamped my right foot down and the snakes head popped up as in pain, dropping its tail at the same time. Without thinking I put my arms around the neck of the snake just like Tarzan having a pop at a crocodile would. I wrapped my legs around it too like I was going to hump it. The snake then vomited and a red assed baboon came out of the yellow snakes mouth, all wrapped in goo like a newborn baby is. The baboon was holding a large eye with the pupil shaped as a number three or a letter m on its side. The baboon took one look at me and started to run towards the beach. I dropped the snake and ran after the baboon. Its red arse was glowing very brightly like a neon sign saying ‘kick me’.
I swung a leg in an attempt to boot it up the arse but I missed (so no emails from the RSPCA please) I started screaming and shouting at this baboon and in its haste to escape it dropped the eye it was carrying very near to the place where I was sick and where I had drawn a line in the sand on the beach. It was also the place where I had placed an empty bottle during the journey I experienced at the second ceremony.
My shouting at the baboon must have sounded like signs of distress and I must have alerted the elder of the ceremony and the Shaman’s assistant to my plight because they came to me asking what all the noise was about. I felt a bit embarrassed. I knew it was over and time for me to rest and after staying on my feet for two ceremonies I really was ready to collapse on to the floor.
I went to my mattress and tried to make sense of what had happened I shut my eyes for only the second time in three ceremonies. The same male face (Head) (like superman’s dad) from the first ceremony appeared again. He plainly ‘said’ or I understood him to say; ‘It’s nearly done but when it is say so’. I was shown a ‘hole’ between this world and a sort of paradise world. In-between this world and the paradise world I was shown a world of imprisonment and misery and I was shown that the rulers in that world of fear like to keep this world in the same image of that world.
This in-between world keeps the human race as prisoners and keeps us in the lowest form of trance possible making a true escape impossible.
I was also shown that the powerful crew that had been put together had managed to drill a symbolic hole right through the negative band of energy (in-between world) showing me that collective spiritual energy can create physical invisible energy. I was shown that representatives from the paradise world beyond the in-between world were now present in this world as human beings and were breaking out of the trance state they were put under by the in-between world, just like everyone is put in trance.
I was told that ‘when these representatives were united there will be fireworks in this world’ and the face winked at me and smiled. The face then faded away. I wanted it to come back and tell me more but it didn’t. I knew my journeys to other worlds in Brazil were over.
I got up and noticed the elder of the ceremony (the bugger that burnt my hat!) was sat in a chair near my head. I got up and got a final bottle of water and looked to the stars and drank the bottle in one. I then gave the elder the empty bottle and he kindly took it.
That was the end of my journeys under the trance of Ayahuasca and the guidance of the Shaman. I must say that even though I experienced some traumatic scenes I felt perfectly at ease after each ceremony. After the third ceremony I asked another symbolic member of the group if he knew the title of a song by Johnny Nash. He said Johnny Cash. I said No Johnny Nash.
‘I can see clearly now’ I said. ‘The Rain has gone’ someone else said.
The day after third ceremony was a cloudless hot and sunny day and all the crew laid around in the sunshine including me. I was exhausted but felt that it really was a beautiful day. I knew that without the rain I couldn’t have experienced my latter two journeys and I knew only love had brought the Rain.
On the last evening we had tobacco-offering ritual to carry out. We had previously made ritual offerings to the Earth and the Sea using symbolic stones. I used a bloodstone. For the tobacco offering every one of us had to wrap tobacco in little different coloured cloth parcels and attach them on a string. Just like a string of pearls.
Colours used in final offering
We then burnt them individually on the Fire and each said a few words as part as a closing ceremony and when I threw my coloured parcels of tobacco on the Fire. I said ‘It’s done’ and it was on that day.
Oh my brothers it was done.
So there you have it. I have tried to be as honest and as accurate as I can when describing my journeys. Obviously the vast majority of people will see it as though I had a ‘trip’ brought on by drugs that cause hallucinations. I must say that not long ago I would have thought the same thing. Remember I have never taken any substances before so I have nothing to compare Ayahuasca to. I can drink a bucket full of ale though and still stay on my feet.
I was also traumatically awakened to my hypnotically suppressed childhood memories in 1999. I must admit that Ayahuasca did seem to appear to transport me to see another dimension that resembled my childhood experiences and I certainly reacted to what I was seeing.
So what can I really tell you about Ayahuasca? I have always said long before I went near Ayahuasca, and it is recorded, that I believe the masses are dumbed down and we are forced to spiritually surrender ourselves to a deceptive force lifetime after lifetime. To put it in simple terms our third eye is removed. Yes a removal of our third eye (our intuition) takes place leaving us at the mercy of the deceptive force that caused the loss of sight in the first place. Can Ayahuasca medicine replace that third eye if only for a few hours?
Far more intelligent people than me know about these things and can explain it better too. I have just reported what happened to me as it appeared to me. Some claim that pineal gland (that separates the two sides of the brain) is affected by Ayahuasca and in turn this allows the individual taking it to access both sides of the brain. Again I don’t even pretend to know if this is true but I will say that I believe the human race is somehow dumbed down to the levels of a plastic dog turd from a joke shop and there may be something in this. Here is a brief explanation of the pineal gland.
Ayahuasca is said to contain the natural brain hormone ‘DMT’ and this DMT is only usually increased when you are born and when you die. Entering and leaving this dimension. So it is possible that Ayahuasca supplies you with inter-dimensional visions during your life by increasing DMT levels. Although from another viewpoint reduction of DMT levels may explain the dumbing down process. Here is a brief explanation of DMT.
Can drinking Ayahuasca raise your ‘vibrational state’, for want of better words, and enable you to see into other dimensions? Can the Shaman create changes in consciousness that effect not only individuals but also collective groups? Can the Shaman use his skills to create a collective hypnotic trance like state just like I believe a deceptive race of serpents have hypnotised the masses in this world to live in the trance that creates all the misery in this world?
I am sure that the crew put together by PP and others close to him know the answers to the questions that I ask about the Shaman are true.
The crew I was with actually felt true connection with each other simply because we were all on a level playing field. There were no material barriers, there were no class divisions and there were no differences between us whatsoever. None. We lived as equals if only for a short period. Our true spirituality was allowed to surface simply because we were allowed to create our own world for once and in that world there were no divisions, just human beings collectively searching for some truth and a way home. We allowed each other to experience what we wanted or needed to experience without restrictions. We allowed each other to be free. I only witnessed positive results in the people that took Ayahuasca despite some of the people having journeys that were not all fluffy bunny experiences. I always felt good after the ceremonies. The collective spiritual power of the group made sure of that.
Ayahuasca has confirmed to me that this world is an illusion created by mass thought. Sadly I believe a very deceptive force has hijacked the collective thoughts of the human race and we live lives that the hijackers want us to live. I believe we can change this world by changing mass thought and if the majority of minds can wake up to what is really going on then a massive spiritual shift is possible and we will reconnect with the paradise world that I have been shown and seen. There will be no prison warders and the world will not be a prison anymore. If this shift happens you will not be forced to surrender your spirit and live on your knees in misery in this world ever again.
A fairy tale is it? Matthew Delooze is just another lunatic shooting his gob off whilst being high off magic potions is he? A stupid dreamer that knows bugger all and is living in a delusion am I? Well if I am it is a bloody prolonged and vivid delusion then and my psychosis never fades and to be honest if I am suffering from psychosis then I really hope that I never get sane again and end up like the bloke next door. I really do.
So I tell you the truth when I say representatives from the one true consciousness are here in human form in this world to help this world shift. They can only open up the spiritual floodgates and help if this world really wants to ‘shift’. It is time to think for yourselves and let your intuition tell you what you should do in the coming months and years. I have said enough in this article and it is nearly time for me to go. I say let your intuition direct you in the future, not your credit card statement or a lying politician. Your subconscious is currently being reminded of who you really are and when you remember it will be a trustworthy guide. So follow it. It is a difficult time for a lot of us.
Some force had subconsciously created the urge in the crew to attend the workshop. It’s not easy for some people to drink such things as Ayahuasca and I acknowledge the sheer bravery of all those people who drank it, especially those who, on a five-sense level, didn’t really want to swallow it. I can only suggest to those that didn’t want to drink it that your subconscious brought you to Bahia that week because of the spiritual symbolism you carry and that you spiritually promised to do so (sadly you cannot remember the promises you made whilst you are in this world). No one broke his or her spiritual promises at Bahia.
I would like to thank PP and those close to him for putting together the crew and making our week at Bahia possible. I also would like to thank those who found themselves at Bahia through their own spiritual path for making it possible because your involvement was just as important as everyone else. I am excited for all of you and all your futures.
To Ralph, Peter, Rod and the delightful Fiona and the rest of the staff at Heart of the Initiate I say a very big thank you, just for being you and the wonderful thing you have created. Again anyone wishing to know more about Heart of the Initiate please visit their site. It’s a mine of information with some very good articles and other information, including some very good stuff from Ralph and Peter. Ralph and Peters skills are many and Ralph has even become an expert hat burner as well! Here is a link to articles at the Heart of the Initiate website.
I realise the vast majority of people haven’t the means to get to Brazil and take part in workshops and that is why I have opened my heart and put my experiences on show in this article. If you have read this article carefully then my experiences are also now in you and you have seen and will carry the same symbolism and the same colours as me. (Without having to puke your ring up or worry that your arsehole was going to explode or indeed worrying your mother about the state of your underwear, I might add!)
I realise you will have totally different experiences than me if you attend a workshop but to those who will never attend a workshop I say you now know as much as me about ayahuasca.
Last but not least, by a long chalk, I thank the Shaman and his lovely assistant Sarah for the sheer effort and hard graft they put in during the ceremonies. I am sure their work will not go unrewarded.
May love reign o’er you all.
Matthew Delooze 21st Sept 2007
Copyright © Matthew Delooze, 2007. All Rights Reserved.