The Parable of the Bluebottle Fly and the Lazy Fat Man
By Matthew Delooze
A lazy fat man was asleep in bed. In the early hours of the morning he was awoken with a strange buzzing sound. At first, whilst in a state of sleepy confusion, the fat man didn’t know what the sound was. He knew the sound was annoying him though.
He started to awaken and after a while thought, “I know that buzzing sound because I have heard it many times”. “It is a Bluebottle beating its wings and trying to escape through the window”.
The lazy fat man was still tired and weary. He had over indulged the night before just as he had done for years. He thought why doesn’t the Bluebottle just shut up and stop beating its wings and let him sleep in peace. The lazy fat man was willing for the Bluebottle to share his bedroom as long as it stayed quiet and let him sleep.
The Bluebottle just kept buzzing and buzzing looking for an escape path and the lazy fat man started to get more and more irritated with the buzzing noise. The lazy fat man simply wanted to go back to sleep.
The lazy fat man then realised that the only hope he had to stay in his blissful slumber was to actually help the Bluebottle escape and therefore get out of bed and go and open a window.
But he was too idle to do that though.
He stayed in his stinking pit and placed the pillow over his head in the hope that he could go back to sleep. The Bluebottle just kept buzzing and trying to escape though. Buzz – Buzz – Buzz.
He got more and more irritated by the Bluebottle. He was now enraged because he was being prevented from sleeping, especially so by a simple little meaningless Bluebottle and its desire to escape.
He decided that if he were ever going to be allowed to carry on sleeping he really would have to get out of bed and open a window to let the bloody Bluebottle out. He would literally have to help provide an exit route and release it. The Bluebottle was simply buzzing away and the lazy fat man was not going to be allowed to carry on sleeping and he was becoming more and more irritated because of the buzz that kept him awake.
The lazy fat man eventually got out of bed in a rage, he marched towards the window and squashed the Bluebottle DEAD.
The lazy fat man then went back to sleep.
Matthew Delooze 25th April 2010