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Come On… Feel The Noise

Come On… Feel the Noise

The location of the Ayahuasca ceremonies

By Matthew Delooze

Ain’t you the guy who use to set the paces
Riding up in front of a hundred faces
I don’t suppose you will remember me
But I used to follow you back in sixty-three
From the song Bell Boy by the Who

Hello folks,

I am very glad to be writing again about drinking Ayahuasca medicine in South America. For those of you who have not followed the story of my experiences then I suggest you read ‘only love can bring the rain’ and ‘standing in the line of fire’ before reading about this more recent experience.

For those people who have read those articles and want to read more then let’s get going shall we?
Susie (my wife) and I eagerly accepted an invitation from Mr PP to attend another Ayahuasca workshop in Bahia, Brazil. The eco lodge at Bahia is a very beautiful setting indeed. With its palm trees, sandy beach, calm atmosphere and warm sunshine it is a far cry from the slum areas of Burnley in Lancashire UK, where I exist. I won’t say ‘live’. Mind you Burnley is now one big slum area. Its corrupt local council and civic leaders have made it so as they follow the orders of the unseen faces, which hide behind the scenes.

Anyway the time to travel to Brazil was fast approaching and I had experienced quite a hectic schedule in the days leading up to the time of my departure, which in turn had made me not really think about the trip at all. I had also recently been given a gift by the same bloke who had taken on the role of the dead body and zombie during the Ayahuasca ceremonies in Colombia. We were both looking forward to going back to beautiful Bahia. The gift turned out to be an expected subliminal trigger for me because it provided an intriguing enigma. I was looking forward to the trip.

Then just a few days before I was due to set off, having now had time to think and reacting to the said trigger, I had started to have serious doubts about going to Brazil. A very dark cloud came over me and I became a very bitter and angry person. It was my wife’s dream to go back to Brazil and this only added to my depression because she wouldn’t go without me. I also didn’t want to seem ungrateful to the generous man who had invited me to attend the workshop. I couldn’t work out why I had suddenly got cold feet. Part of me realised that some force was either trying to stop me from going or some force was purposely winding me up. I soon realised it was the latter. I knew the force that was seriously affecting me was the same directing force that I have been consciously aware of for over 10 years. I trust this force 100% but I literally felt like I was about to enter a boxing ring and my trusted trainer was slapping me around the face to raise my emotions to a symbolic ‘erupting volcano’ level. The method was working too!

I was travelling on the Sunday 28th September and from the previous Thursday everything was going wrong for me and each thing that went wrong increased the amount of lava swishing around inside me, so to speak. Going off my previous experiences I knew that I was being prepared for some kind of a showdown. That said I had managed to get focused and by the time I set off for the airport I had managed to be very positive. I knew I was meeting up with good friends and good folk and I wanted to enjoy their company and hoped they wanted the same. I knew I was meeting up with some of the crew that had attended the previous workshops. I was happy about that. I wasn’t happy for long!

I flew down to Heathrow from Manchester. I had to change terminals to catch the long haul flight to Brazil. I had placed two suitcases and a laptop case on a ‘trolley’ (you know the sort, those things with squeaky wheels and a mind of their own, or is it only me that gets to push the dodgy ones?) Susie and I were rushing to get the train to terminal five. The train was actually in at the platform as we arrived underground. The doors were ready to close and the train was departing so I grabbed the cases off the trolley, Indiana Jones fashion, and just managed to get on the train just before the doors shut and off we went. Phew! It was that close I nearly got my arse trapped in the doors. I was feeling pleased with myself until I realised that I had only put two suitcases on the train! Indeed I realised with intense dread that my laptop case was still swinging on a hook on the trolley at terminal one when my arse was on a non-stop fast train to terminal five! Oh blinking heck I thought.

The laptop case and laptop contained some very important info, including all my material I use for my talks, some important papers and my new digital camera, that I was to use on my trip. I began to panic and I immediately looked for one of those strings they used to pull on old trains to stop them in their tracks.  You know what I mean, an emergency cord or something? I couldn’t find bugger all. If I had found a string I would have pulled it! I then went looking for a guard. Couldn’t find one of them either, ‘lazy bastards’ I thought. My blood pressure rose rapidly. I was in full panic mode. My wife’s face told me I was close to psycho mode too! I felt like I was going to die. I have very little as far as material goods go. A good and generous friend had given me the laptop so I could do the talk in Halifax back in May. I knew I couldn’t replace it. I was devastated and automatically thought some quick-fingered fiend would steal it. I realised that a laptop in any condition can raise a bit of cash and I realised someone would take it within minutes. London is full of pickpockets hanging around the airport etc. I started to panic again and I felt faint….

…Then whoosh… whoosh.. memories came flooding back, half of me wanting to cry and half of me wanting to smash the train up in frustration of being such a clot in losing the laptop. But strangely it was the events in Colombia in February that came flooding back to me. The ‘face’ had told me that I would lose some baggage… I quote from ‘standing in the line of fire’… The face then said I would lose some personal belongings but I was not to get angry as it was meant to be and was a symbolic part of the ritual I had carried out and a symbolic loss of ‘baggage’. I was told that was why I had placed my bag at the base of the pole and that the missing things would represent the ‘eyes’ of the people that were not there.

At that time I thought it was because I’d had a camera stolen during that very ceremony. The camera I had bought to replace the stolen camera was indeed in the lap top bag. I soon realised that the face that had talked to me under Ayahuasca in February really meant the laptop bag was going to be my lost baggage and the face was really talking about events that were to take place six months later. I knew the ritual that had taken place in Colombia was now being continued in Brazil. The face knew then I would get angry. I never felt angry in Colombia so I knew the face really meant my laptop as being the ‘baggage’.

We got off the train at terminal five, which is a brand new terminal and a bloody joke to navigate. The terminal consists of lifts (elevators) with no buttons and robot staff that simply can’t be arsed to help anyone in a crisis sort of thing. We, Susie and I, attempted to trace our steps and we both ran around Heathrow Airport like headless chickens, we tried to get the laptop case and its content back. The sheer size of the airport and modern technology stopped us. After fifty minutes of effort we both gave up. I had even returned to terminal one but the bag was gone. No luck with the lost property office either. We had to give up on the baggage or we would miss the plane to Brazil. I was simply going to Brazil without my sentimental baggage and no tools. My emotions were back to ‘erupting volcano’ level again.


“But I see a face coming through the Haze, I remember him from those crazy days”

The group all eventually met up in Brazil. It was a very happy, jolly if you like, group. I tried to put on a happy face but my thoughts were negative, something was keeping me in the ‘erupting volcano’ mode. Mind you this time, as an added bonus, there were many more females in the group and may I say very pretty ones too. The energy of the ladies stood out. We arrived at the eco lodge two nights before the first ceremony and we started a detox program using healthy food etc. I am too long in the tooth to change my ways, I like my English grub, but I must admit the food was expertly prepared. By the second night I had put my baggage loss behind me and nerves set in about drinking the Ayahuasca again. I looked around at the group again there were some very powerful and wealthy people in it. I felt like the runt of a litter. We all lined up to take it. I was the last person in the group to drink it. I watched the entire group. There were about 20 people drinking in all. I watched them all take to their beds and I then took off my coat, waved it around, and then lay down myself.

The medicine came on very strong very quickly. I felt at ease immediately and all my anxiety from the previous couple of days fell away. The sound in the air changed as it usually did with the medicine. I fought off the effects of the medicine at first but soon I put my hands behind my head and opened up. I shot down a tunnel at tremendous speed. Whooooossshhh. The now well-known face (Superman’s dad) appeared. ‘Where’s my bloody laptop’ I thought. The face laughed and said don’t worry about a silly laptop, ‘we’ will get it back to you. I asked who ‘we’ were. I was told ‘we’ were like ‘the men high up there fishing’ from a song I like. I was told ‘the men high up there fishing’ wanted me to carry out a judgement job on the Shaman’s talents. If I thought the Shaman was good and strong then I had to say so and ‘face the beast’ this week. If I thought the Shaman was weak and no good then I was to say so and do nothing. I said why me? Why do I have to judge the Shaman. Other people knew the Shaman better than me. Ralph Miller (Heart of the Initiate) had found the Shaman in a Colombian village years ago so surely his judgement about his skills were far better than mine. I was just the runt of the litter after all. I was told I had purposely been put in a certain state of mind to do the judging.

I now saw fault in everything that I could find fault with so therefore I could easily see any fault in the Shaman and his medicine if it was there.

The face apologised for having had me put in the frame of mind I was in. I thought ‘bloody hell the only person who apologises to me after all the shit I have had is through ‘hallucination’ whilst under the influence of the Ayahuasca medicine. I started laughing about this. The face then said he was not an illusion and the only way he could communicate with me was through using Ayahuasca. The face said I had agreed to use Ayahuasca for communication purposes before I came into this world. The face said that if I didn’t carry out the request then I would simply just go back to sleep.

I said OK then I will judge the Shaman. What did I have to do? He said I had to ‘hear’ the four Indian chiefs that I had previously ‘seen’ in Colombia. I had to hear the four voices from the West, East, South and North directions. I was told if the Shaman’s magic was good enough then I would hear all four chiefs within a minute of each other. I was told to use my watch to time the voices.

I was then given a paper to use as a kind of ‘tick off list’ and when I heard each voice of each chief I had to tick them off. The face said good luck, winked at me and disappeared. I opened my eyes; I looked around at group who were in various stages of their own journeys. Most of them were flat on their backs but a few were up puking like crazy or making silly noises in the background. The strange things you see under Ayahuasca, with your eyes open, include people that are literally shape shifting. It can be very scary. The trees change shape too. People seem to change into religious icons or even wild animals. They seem to show you the symbolism they carry. If you can read symbolism you can see the true intentions of the person. Anyway I shut my eyes again and the Shaman immediately started chanting and playing musical instruments. This put the group back into a collective trance. I raised my arm and removed my watch. I heard the chanting behind me (North) and then I heard chanting to my right in my right ear. I saw this as West. I then heard chanting to my left (East) and then at my feet (South). The chanting was very clear and loud from all directions, but it was distant. I quickly opened my eyes to see if it was simply the Shaman moving around or throwing his voice but a quick look behind me showed me that the Shaman had never moved and his lips were still yet I could still hear it. I had indeed witnessed the voices from the 4 chiefs and from all directions. It may have been the Shaman’s ability to throw voices but it sure didn’t seem so to me. I ticked the imaginary list. I then placed the watch back on my wrist. It had taken under four minutes. I was also to judge the power of the medicine and the Shaman’s music. Both were very powerful.

I ticked the imaginary list again. The Shaman had passed the test I was supposed to judge with, literally, flying colours.

The face appeared again, smiling. It said that I had now judged and therefore trusted the Shaman and I can now ‘face the beast’. I really didn’t want to face any beast I thought. Why do I have to face a beast? What or who was the beast anyway. The face said, “I had to face the beast” at the next ceremony and no matter what happened I had not to request any help nor had I to spiritually surrender to what I see and hear. If I was successful then it would help matter in the future and allow the Shaman to have more power and therefore future ceremonies would hold far more meaning. It would eventually help ‘unite all the elements’.

I began to think the face had visited the wrong bloke and maybe he should have visited another bloke lying on another bed. I thought bloody hell it’s a case of mistaken identity! Why not let someone else face the beast and give me visions of Suzie Quatro singing and shaking her arse instead. That sounded a better option to me. Somehow I knew I was destined to face the beast.

The face said I would mainly carry out things on another dimension during the ceremonies this week and therefore not embarrass myself on a five-sense level as much as I usually do. The face added that if I thought this was an easier way of doing things then I’d better think again, it wasn’t. I was going to ‘feel the noise’ at the next ceremony. I had literally been challenged to and if I hadn’t the balls to face a beast then I’d better bugger off now sort of thing. It wasn’t the time for Suzie Quatro concerts!

I was told if I hadn’t the balls to match the beast then I would be easily defeated in the future and all the research and writing and travelling I have done, with the help of others, would be in vain. I took the face very seriously, hallucination or no hallucination, I knew it wasn’t messing around and I would experience things whether it was a bloody hallucination or not. My chakras, for want of a better word, went into overdrive and to put it bluntly my arse started twitching. (Anyone who has drunk Ayahascha knows that when their arse starts twitching it’s time to take note and act!)

I never had the urge to reject the face or tell it to bugger off. I always listened intensely and I never ever thought the information was false or unreal. Whoever this face was I trusted it 100%.

I was told by the face that the group was spiritually weak on a collective level but there were some individuals who would take up symbolic roles during their own personal journeys with the plant and these roles would help support me on a spiritual level, in more ways than one, whilst I faced the beast. My back would be guarded. I would not be alone. I was told through symbolism that it would help me if some in the group lowered their egos a little. (I did mention this at the group sharing session before the second ceremony). The face then told me that I would have to declare to the Earth that it was ‘time’ for me to be able to face the beast.

The face said it was time to relax and listen to the music being played by the shaman and relax I did. The face told me that my vision of the coloured rods that I experienced in Colombia was created by the rain that had appeared that night (see previous essay). The face told me the light rods really represented a love type healing energy created through the rain that had come to me in five-sense reality in previous ceremonies. The Shaman had created the circumstances and called forward the energy but the rods were from the rain. The face reminded me that I was to carry out things in another dimension this week and the rainbow light rods represented the rain in this other dimension. The rainbow light rods were literally ‘the rain’ on another dimension. Dry rain if you like. The face told me that the rain would be with me when I faced the beast. I knelt up and looked around and the light rods were back with me. They were all around, pouring down and flying around if you like. I was literally gob-smacked again.

I stood up and walked around and the light rods were not confined to a small area like they were in the maloca in Colombia, oh no, this time they were literally covering the entire eco village. There were millions of the buggers. They were over every bungalow and hut. They were raining on every person and animal and every tree. It was beautiful and I felt beautiful too, which is rare for an ugly bugger like me! I was literally in love with the inter-dimensional rain. I wanted to be soaked in it. I wanted this energy to reign over me forever.

The rainbow lights rained over the entire eco lodge.
Was I simply just as high as a kite and hallucinating on a drug?

I don’t know. I don’t care. I tell you the truth when I say that I felt a connection again to the rain through these coloured rainbow rods that I cannot even see on a five-sense level. I can only feel them on a five-sense level. I led down again and shut my eyes. I was being shown why I had suffered and what I was trying to get back. I need, we need, to connect with the elements on a spiritual level. I was being shown that we, the human race, need to retain the spiritual energy that is being sucked from us. The energy we create to feed our planet is being stolen, therefore we starve ourselves spiritually because we starve this world spiritually. I was shown again that that our energy is created with the intent to feed this planet, our world, and not feed the deceivers that are stealing it from us. I was being shown how this energy is stolen. I was also shown how we all ‘equally’ create these rainbow rods through our emotions but instead of these rods feeding and continuously healing our world, as they should, they simply feed another world. A parasite is stealing the world’s spiritual energy. This world is now very sick and it needs healing very sharpish in my opinion. It’s time for ‘us’ to provide the medicine the world needs. It’s time for us all to give our love to the planet and also the elements that make our physical world possible.

It’s time for us all to match the balls of the beast. How do we do this? We simply remember who we really are and stop being what we are told we are.

The face showed me a very powerful and cryptic vision of the future where the Air, Water, Earth and Fire were united and these elements openly challenged the deceivers that have divided and ruled this world through deception for thousands of years. Oh my brothers the vision was very strong. One element cannot change things but all the elements together can. The face (It had been with me several hours on and off) told me to rest up after the ceremony. I came out of trance and along with my wife Susie went back to our hut. I opened the door, walked in my hut, and saw vertical lines in front of me like pieces of string hanging down. I realise this sounds daft but I literally parted these strings with my arms. They then took the shape of a large vagina as I did so. (I immediately thought of that twat George Bush!) I realise that I was symbolically coming in to or out of another dimension and the vagina represented this. As soon as I passed through the large vagina the strings disappeared. I scrambled behind my mosquito net and fell down exhausted. Half of me was scared over the visions and the things the face said about the beast but half of me was elated over the inter-dimensional rain that I saw again. I lay in bed in the dark and I wept with joy and sadness at the same time for at least an hour. It was 4am when I fell asleep.

I awoke and was immediately wide-awake at 8am. Things began to make more sense to me. I had brought some symbolic items with me to Brazil. I had been in possession of these things for quite a while. I hadn’t a clue what some of my possessions were for or what they represented. The gift I had received just a few days before I set off for Brazil also made sense. It was a symbolic ‘Book of the Dead’ and a symbolic corpse or zombie had given it to me. (The bloke who played dead / a zombie during the ceremonies in Colombia) He couldn’t explain why he bought me the gift apart from it was just a random act of generosity and an act of friendship. We had a group discussion about our ‘journeys’ the day after the first ceremony. I told the group that I had experienced a journey as the runt of the litter. I told them that from the bottom position looking up that some of them had big egos. In the main my comments fell on deaf ears. But this was to confirm that I was the runt of the litter.

The Second Ceremony (Daytime)

“Crazy Days – Hazy Days” “A beach is a place where a man can feel He’s the only soul in the world that’s real “

We carried out an offering to the Earth ceremony before the second Ayahuasca ceremony. This took the form of each individual placing a symbolic crystal of his or her choice in a hole in the ground. I was spiritually directed to place a symbol in the hole that indicated that I agreed it was time to face the music so to speak. It was my watch. The same watch that was broken at the first Ayahuasca ceremony in 2007 (Mentioned in ‘only love can bring the rain’).

I knew when that watch hit the bottom of the hole that I was indeed going to have to face something during the ceremony. There was no turning back time. The time for the ceremony arrived.
Again I was the last member of the group to take it. One brave member of the group decided to drink the Ayahuasca later, his reasons for this are better known to him, but I knew that if I failed then this person would have to face the beast in my place and would have faced a very tough journey. Subconsciously this bloke was ready to wear my hat so to speak. Sounds a bit like airy-fairy Indiana Jones movie stuff, I know folks, but that was the way it was and I was glad it was that way.

I drank the stuff down and I must admit to anyone out there. ‘Ayahuasca tastes like shit’. It’s bloody awful stuff. I thought I would have to stay on my feet again like I did during my first visit to Brazil. I put my hat on as it was hot and sunny and decided to take position in front of swimming pool and face the beach and the sea, just like I did a year earlier. I paced up and down staring out to sea waiting for whatever was coming my way. The plant medicine was taking effect and the vibes started. Then I realised what the face had told me. I was to carry out things on another dimension this time, it was not a five-sense journey. Those that read ‘only love can bring the rain’ will know I was challenged to stay on my feet throughout an Ayahuasca ceremony. Those that have truly drunk this medicine will know that is a massive task in itself. Ayahuasca flattens you. I soon realised that I was very glad I was not being challenged to ‘stay on my feet’ this time. I would have failed the challenge. This was top shelf Ayahuasca. The vibrations in the air started to increase drastically. A humming started to throb in my ears. It just got louder and louder and louder. I looked out to sea hoping to see visions of what I was told to face. The Beast.

I was expecting some kind of 10 headed monster to materialise or something and bite my head off. The throbbing noise was becoming unbearable and I literally folded in half, in puke mode if you like, desperately trying to be sick, maybe I could escape the journey if I was sick now I thought, but there was nothing in me to be sick with. My stomach only contained a cup full of Ayahuasca. The plant medicine was fully in my system by now anyway (50 minutes in) and I knew I was there for the duration. I staggered back under cover to where the rest of the group was and made it to my makeshift bed.

The area where the group lay

I thought the energy that was literally hitting me would decrease somewhat if I just lay down and shut my eyes. I was hoping the ‘face’ would appear to help me. The noise increased. This noise could make you go insane I thought. I didn’t think it was possible for this unbearable noise to get worse but it did. Oh my brothers it certainly did. I thought ‘what the fucking hell am I doing here’. To make matters worse I had actually asked for this torment! I shut my eyes again and thankfully the humming stopped. I was taken in a flash, Whooossshhh, in to a vision of a big ancient type door with the word ‘castle’ written on it, this door was high up on a pyramid type hill, there was a moat in front of it but it was like a waterfall not a moat. Like a step pyramid with water running down the steps.

I had a very strong urge to get in to the building.


The image was like this but the central steps were a mass of serpents that looked like a waterfall

I looked up at the castle door at the top of the waterfall, it was darkish, and I realised it wasn’t water it was a festering mass of open jawed serpents wriggling around on the steps. You couldn’t see the steps properly, just the serpents. They were hissing and spitting and waiting for me to climb up through them sort of thing. When I looked down at myself I saw I was actually wearing a feathered suit. I thought to myself bloody hell why am I dressed like a bloody ‘chicken’. (Sounds crazy I know but that’s what happened. I opened my eyes again but I was immediately engulfed with the noise and the intense throbbing of vibrations in the air. I had come out of a dimension sort of thing. I started to panic a bit. I wasn’t enjoying the journey one bit. I tried to stand up in the hope I could walk out of the vision or simply escape the vibrations that were rocking my very bones and tormenting my mind, but the energy was just way too strong. It knocked me straight back on my arse. I looked around trying to focus but the noise was unbearable, a massive whooshing hum controlled the whole atmosphere. I tried to calm myself and get a bloody grip of things. I was trying to raise my own spirits and trying to find the strength to cope. I realised some newcomers to the group were also suffering a bit. A few were moaning and groaning on their beds. Surprisingly this helped me perk up and gave me strength. I called out to this energy that was literally attacking us to leave the others alone. I was getting angry inside myself. The noise just got worse and worse I felt like I was going to die unless I surrendered. I started to kick my legs down as though I was walking. I was angrily stamping my feet down. I was in a real temper and all the emotions I had felt over prior to coming to Brazil were coming out of me with each step I made. Without the anger and the temper I would not have made the steps so i knew the anger was there to help me in my journey. I was then suddenly forced to shut my eyes again. Whoooosh! Again I saw the castle door but this time I was stood right in front of it. I was on top of the waterfall (the mass of hissing serpents). I was scared I was going to fall down backwards. I knew I couldn’t go back. I was still wearing the ‘chicken’ suit. I opened my eyes again. The noise and the energy hit me as soon as I did. The atmospheric pressure was enormous. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. When I shut them I instantly saw the castle type door again. It was like I was like I was instantly flitting backwards and forwards through dimensions. Things had never been this rapid for me before. I saw myself banging on this door like a frenzied psychopath. I was screaming in my head..”Open the door whoever you are”. My voice seemed to travel for miles.

The door slowly opened. I was basically shitting myself but my anger helped me. The door creaked open like something out of a horror movie. I was very scared but intrigued at the same time. As the door opened fully I expected to see a monster, a beast, that I was destined to face. A head appeared round the door with a mop of hair, it was no beast……. I was suddenly looking at myself. It was no beast it was only silly old me. It was me! It was me! There was no bloody beast. I was only going to face myself after all.

I (me behind the door) then said to me (me in front of the door). ‘I have been waiting a very, very, very long time for you’. ‘Come on in and start to live again’. I led myself to a massive wheel like on an old sailing ship. This wheel was attached to a standing stone. It was full of cobwebs and dust. I knew it was a wheel that needed turning and I also knew that only I could turn it. No one else can turn the wheel only me. I then had a flash back going back thousands of years. A bad energy force had butchered me for turning the wheel before. A long time ago. I told myself that thousands of years ago I had ‘shut down’ a very good power source to avoid a negative energy taking control of it. This negative force tore me to pieces for doing it. I dusted off the cobwebs and the dust. It made me cough. I then turned the wheel. I was literally in a there she blows captain sort of position turning the wheel like it was on a ship. Strangely the wheel had the watch I placed in the earth in the centre of it.

The wheel had my watch in the centre. Like this, but on a smaller scale.

As I was turning the wheel I saw an image of three other wheels that had already been turned and they were clean with no dust or cobwebs on them. As soon as I reach full lock on the wheel I was instantly back on my bed. The humming had stopped and the bad atmosphere and intense energy had cleared. I sighed with relief and I stared around at the rest of the group and things looked a lot calmer. I got off my bed and made it to the bushes where I purged and I purged and I purged. I wept to myself. My legs were shaking and my heart was thumping. Day was turning to night. It was 6pm. I had been on that part of the journey for three and a half solid hours.

I went back to my bed. I led face down. I later popped my head up and looked around at the others and saw some of the beds had turned into cars and the people on them had a steering wheel in their hands. The wheels looked like the one I turned. They looked comical like dodgem cars. I knew instantly that without these people I would have never got near my wheel that was behind the castle type door. I was still feeling hyper and hurting from head to foot like I had been in a hell of a battle. I wasn’t in a fight or flight mood I was just in a fight mood, but I realised I was simply fighting myself, only this time I wasn’t going to run away. I was simply ready and it was time for me to face my own fears.

The face appeared and said to me ‘well done’ you have faced the beast. The face was laughing and I laughed too. The face told me to pass on some symbolism to trusted faces, people with true colours, as it was important for the future. I did.

The face apologised again for putting me in the state of mind I was in but claimed I had to be like that or I’d never have knocked on the door. I felt exhausted and battered. I was completely numb. All my energy had been used. The humming and the noise had drained me. I had ‘felt’ the noise. I had literally carried the book of the dead. I felt detached from my arms and legs. I told the face that I never surrendered during the journey but I’d now had enough. I wanted to end my journey. The face told me to relax and said I would be fine in a day but later tonight I will see and feel the rain again and only this rain can heal me and only Shaman Warinei can create the circumstances to bring the rain at this time. I was told when I did see and feel the rain I had to give out Jaffa cakes to anyone that was awake.

I dozed off for a while, pondering on my sanity, and then my wife shook me telling me that she had had a powerful bad journey in the beginning of her journey. When I opened my eyes the rods were back with me. Beautiful colours. Beautiful atmosphere. My heart throbbed again as I got up and walked around the place. It was pouring down with little rainbow rods. Thousands of them again. I was ecstatic. I then eventually handed out the Jaffa cakes to anyone who would eat them at that special time. Those that did eat them were soon ecstatic too. We all celebrated the rain and rightly so!

My journey that day was over and I was glad. Very glad.

That’s basically all I can tell you about my Ayahuasca journeys in Bahia 2008. I met some very good people in Bahia and it was nice to be in the company of folk that know this world is corrupted and it was nice to meet folk that are genuinely searching for the truth within themselves. The biggest obstacle in our truth-seeking mission is ‘ourselves’ in my opinion. We can read books and watch DVD’s and we can go to talks to help trigger and feed an awakening in us, but if we cannot face ourselves and actually be ourselves ‘full on’ then we are wasting our time. I’m not preaching to you here. I’m just the same as anyone else. The biggest beast of control is within us. It is not the Serpent Cult. It is us. We are our own beast. Our minds have been manipulated since birth by a very deceptive force and no matter how awake we think we are that force still has a massive grip on all of us in some way or other. If we want to be free then we have to really want to be free and not play games at being free. We have to feel the noise of freedom on a full time basis not just hear the noise of freedom on a part time basis. There is a very big difference. Once we do that then our minds will lose the hypnotic grip of the Serpent Cult that has enslaved the human race for thousands of years. I know this essay will seem silly to many people who think its just the ramblings of a sad ageing man who was simply shit-faced on drugs that make folk hallucinate. I can only say again, as I did in standing in the line of fire, that the cryptic information in this article is provided to affect your subconscious and it will assist certain people in the future. I have told you my experiences as they were. Take them or reject them as you feel. Please… Call me a fool but don’t call me a liar.

Many more things happened during the course of the week in Bahia but the main thing that sticks in my mind is that on the way home I had to travel on an 8-seater plane. You know a puddle hopper with dodgy propellers sort of thing. Images of a Brazilian pilot hiccuping with a bottle of gin in his hand that was vowing to kill himself because his wife had left him sort of thing. I fought with my nerves and of course my anal muscles and got on the plane. You people know how much faith I put on symbolism so you will understand that my arse turned inside out when I suddenly realised, at 10000 feet, that I was sat directly across from a member of the band called ‘Curiosity Killed the Cat’ (from the 1980’s). Their biggest hit was called ‘Straight back down to Earth’. My arse never stopped twitching over that symbolism until we landed in Salvador! ‘Straight back down to Earth’ is not a song you want in your head whilst sat in a puddle hopping 8-seater plane!

Anyway. It’s time for me to go. I’m sure the entire group in Bahia realise they can literally have the coat off my back any time they want. Indeed they did. They could have had my original panama hat as well but Ralph Miller set it alight on the fire in 2007.

Susie and I would like to thank the entire group for making it a very interesting week. We would like to especially thank the very generous Piers, and his princess of a wife, for making it all possible and for unselfishly helping to wake people up. THANK YOU!

We would like to thank Ralph Miller, the delightful Fiona and Sandra and the Chef for looking after us so well and our deepest admiration goes to Shaman Warinei and his lovely assistant Sara for providing their magic and for the sheer hard graft they put in.

Shaman Warinei and Sara.

May love reign o’er them all.
Matthew Delooze 14th October 2008