Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
Drinking Ayauascha in Bahia, Brazil March 2009
By Matthew Delooze
I have to be careful not to preach
I can’t pretend that I can teach
And yet I lived your future out
By pounding stages like a clown
And on the dance floor broken glass
And bloody faces slowly pass
The numbered seats in empty rows
It all belongs to me you know
From the song the Punk & the Godfather by Pete Townsend
Hello truth seekers,
I have taken part in some more Ayahuasca ceremonies and have written my experiences down. To those that have never read about my Ayahuasca experiences I suggest you read about the previous experiences by starting at the beginning before reading this one.
I hope you are all well and coping with the madness, the corruption and deceptions that even the most spiritually blind person cannot fail to see these days spewing out of pathetic ‘governments’ all around the world as the Serpent Cult try to get a stronger grip on your physical enslavement and force your spirit in to a state of eternal surrender. The phoney materialistic means that create our enslavement are being exposed now on a daily basis and the finger is being pointed at corporate businesses and ‘Chief Executive’ type wankers are being blamed for the current financial meltdown.
This situation has not been caused by the actions of smart suited corrupt corporate and banking businessmen. These people have always been total wankers that have simply done as they were told in my opinion. They simply live off ego and gold credit cards and the masses have been hypnotised into thinking these people have special business brains and because of that they believe they must go along with them but in reality they only have the same brains as you do.
I have come in to contact with quite a few ‘special business brains’ or ‘elite professional experts’ during my 50 years in this world and I must admit now that I have yet to meet one that isn’t totally full of shit. These people are only ‘special professional people’ when the system they serve goes their way or when the masters they worship allow them to look good in the public eye.
The Serpent Cult uses the system to totally control our minds and they can create phoney economic wealth or phoney recession whenever they want. The puppets that play at being economic experts or bankers have the exact same knowledge about how the system works as you or I do. Apart from being as bent as a nine bob note when it suits them they really don’t know their arses from their elbows about global economies. You might as well put me in government as Chancellor of the Exchequer or the Head of the Bank of England because I’m just as qualified as they are and so are you. Oh granted, you and I are not the bare faced liars these people are and we couldn’t keep a straight face and lie through our teeth like they do but we are qualified to play their ‘cushion games’ of sitting on a chair and reading orders from a piece of paper delivered from their masters. Please don’t get me wrong I’m not defending these agents, these pathetic stooges, for the Serpent Cult. Their hearts are full of greed, ego and self interest they wallow in the material things that make them comfortable and just as they have done in the past they will always lie, cheat, beg and kiss ass to achieve their material comforts in the future too. It is important that you realise that you and I have been hypnotised to have the same aims, if only on a lower scale for the majority of us, as the people we are now told have destroyed the banking system.
It is going to be easy to blame these wankers in the coming months and years and just like in the past the Serpent Cult will place even bigger puppets like Obama in the public eye for you to perceive as economic messiahs in and of the future. Don’t forget that Gordon the Moron Brown was hailed as the best economic Chancellor that had ever lived in the good days but anyone can see he was faking it now. He’s just a puppet. That has always been and will always be the case and you will be conned in to ‘praising the system’ that enslaves you again as soon as you are promised another credit card and re-mortgage or loan again.
As I said it is easy to blame these puppets especially when you see and hear of bank bosses fiddling themselves massive pensions and other greedy perks but please understand these perks are simply rewards for lying and cheating and following the orders Serpent Cult. It is easy to blame the ‘greed’ of these puppets but I ask you today whose greed really feeds and maintains the system that enslaves us. Is it really just the fat cats that are currently being displayed as hate figures on our TV screens? That question was on my mind prior to my trip to Brazil to drink Ayahuasca and take part in three ceremonies. So if you want to hear about the trip come with me now and I’ll tell you about it…….
I set off on another long physical journey to South America on the 6th March 2008. It was indeed an honour for me and Susie to be invited again and to be able to join in the Ayahuasca ceremonies and it was also very nice to meet up with familiar faces and one or two new ones. I started off with a long drive to Heathrow Airport and after a transatlantic flight to Sao Paulo and a domestic flight to Salvador I boarded an 8-seater air taxi plane to Barra Grande in Bahia. The whole Journey lasted 37 hours so I believe I was starting to smell a bit by the time I sat down at the Ekoa complex. I had bought and opened a new £5 five pack of underpants from Sainsbury’s supermarket before I had set off and my skin was now telling me why they were only a pound a pair and the fact that the back end of the waistband of these underpants preferred to be nearer to my testicles than my waist told me the quality of these underpants were not actually class A.
I had not eaten much on the way to Bahia. I was recovering from a severe dose of a flu type bug that had flattened me. ‘Man Flu’ the wife called it! According to Susie I just had a baby sniffle type of a cold but I was ‘acting’ like I had typhoid. Its been pointed out to all us fellahs out there that when women get ‘near death flu’ they have to carry on with life regardless like having a screaming kid under each arm, vacuuming, ironing, cooking, working full time, shopping for shoes and saving the world etc. When men get the same bug it changes from ‘Near Death Flu’ to ‘Baby Sniffles’ and we just sit on our arses playing out some theatrical death scene whilst demanding constant treatment, hot lemsip type drinks and copious amounts of sympathy. We men simply curl up on the sofa or bed moaning and groaning like an actor in a movie. I’m told by many women that I should try having a baby then I would know exactly what pain and suffering is. But I tell them I’ve had two kids of my own and it was nothing but a pleasure to go through. Anyway lets get going eh?
The First Ceremony
“You only see what we show you”
The weather was hot and sunny I struggled to find an appetite in the build up to the first ceremony that took place on the 9th March 2009, my 50th Birthday. There is a special detox diet sort of thing and with me being a pie and chips man it never goes down too well. Don’t get me wrong I’m not insulting the grub, a specialist Chef prepares all the food and those that know about such things know it is top quality. Fish and chicken and salads and fruit and sweets are all prepared sugar and salt free in the hope that the body can receive the full power from the Ayahuasca medicine. So I was amazed and embarrassed to see a massive personalised steak and onion pie appear complete with a full sized candle at lunchtime prior to the fasting for the Ayahuasca ceremony that was to take place that evening. I cut myself a large slice and opened a bottle of ale that had been given to me as a birthday gift too. I received another gift too but the steak pie was the first decent amount of food I had swallowed for three days. I was glad it was my birthday and it felt like a bloody mighty milestone had been passed. The ale didn’t touch the sides. I drank it very swiftly.
The ale I swilled down bore this label
I felt more than slightly nervous about drinking the Ayahuasca simply because of the massive powerful journey it had taken me on six months previously. I didn’t think my body or my mind could take another journey like that one but I happily appeared with the rest of the tribe on time to receive another cup of Ayahuasca that evening. The Shaman Warinei carried out his rituals and we all queued up for our measure of the magic potion. The group this time was much smaller than last time and it contained a lot of female energy, which was comforting to feel on a five-sense level. It was soon my turn to drink and I really struggled to get it down. If you have never taken Ayahuasca before I will tell you the truth again now…. it tastes bloody awful like burnt wood and drain cleaner mixed together. Don’t let anyone who says different cook you a meal.
As soon as I swallowed the Ayahuasca I wandered off away from the ceremony area pulling funny faces because of the nasty taste and sucking mints. I noticed it was a clear night and not a cloud was visible in the sky. After twenty minutes I started to notice the change in sound of the waves of the sea and the palm trees. I started to panic a bit as the noise started to increase in a similar way to my previous experience last October. I quickly went to my bed. Trouble is once you have swallowed Ayahuasca there is no get out clause or means of cowardly escape.
The buzz settled down and I started to get minor visions and my inner persona started to change. I think the best way to explain this is to say that we all have a sort of a different inner personality hiding inside us. We have a part of us we keep secret from everyone. Call it schizophrenia if you like. You know what I mean? I mean that person inside you that tells you to go to the toilet when you need to and I mean the person inside you who decides whether something in a shop is too expensive etc. I mean the ‘silent’ person inside you that decides if you think the person you are looking at or talking to is attractive and or intelligent etc. You know what I mean don’t you? The ‘real you’ is actually lurking inside the ‘phoney you’ and the real you usually keeps its opinions between the real you and the phoney you. The phoney you is the person you present to the world. It’s a ‘business you’ it’s the you that has been manufactured.
The phoney you tries very hard to keep the real you under continuous control doesn’t it? Sometimes whilst you are in a temper or whilst the phoney you is drunk or drugged the real you breaks free and manages to speak from the soul for a few moments. When this happens the phoney you will quickly get control of the real you again as soon as possible and the phoney you actually provides mitigating circumstances to defend the actions of the real you. l
The real you is a true spiritual being. The phoney you is a manufactured deceptive persona that has simply been created to control the real you whilst you are in the physical body. ‘The Phoney You’ is a prison warder and your body is a prison. The Phoney You tells the real you that you are free.
I need to explain to you that when I drink Ayahuasca ‘I change’. The phoney me is removed completely. I have only ‘the real me’ to deal with whilst I’m under Ayahuasca and I have absolutely no interference from ‘the phoney me’ and the real me openly and naturally sees things on a spiritual level and does not see things as a manufactured clone that the phoney me sees on any level. I realise a lot of folk will think I see or feel this change in me simply because I’m shit faced on a hallucinogenic substance. Maybe it’s only the same scenario as a drunk changing personalities after their 8th glass of whisky eh?
Anyway I started to feel at ease and connected to the Ayahuasca again and sure enough 30 minutes after drinking this medicine the head or face that looks like Jor El appeared in front of me again. Happy Birthday the face said as it blew a party tooter at me. “You have come a long way so don’t let the last few months put you off”. I started to weep.
The face looked similar to Marlon Brando face in Superman
I can only say again that before I was born I had ‘chosen’ Ayahuasca as one of the means to carry out a form of inter-dimensional communication that I would have to complete during my life. This communication had to take place in the way it did if I were to successfully see the plan out and carry out what needs to be carried out. The face hypnotically triggers me and my finger on a keyboard triggers others. It all sounds absolutely bloody ridiculous I know but there I was again nodding in agreement with the face I was in communication with and crying over the events I have been through in the last 15 years, and to top it all the face blew a party tooter at me. What would me mam say?
The face said there is a very cruel deceptive force that prevents us from a proper or a natural communication with our true source in times of spiritual turmoil. The face said that the force I call the Serpent Cult had severed truthful spiritual contact between the human collective consciousness in this world that we call Earth’ and our ‘home’ which is our true paradise.
Memories of my childhood came flooding back and I knew the face was reading my thoughts and forcing my mind back in time. It made me realise that this face, this superman’s dad figure, was actually the husband figure of the nice lady (Shirley Bassey Dress) that visited me and prepared me as a child. This ‘face’ had been present at that time too. This face was showing me events that I went through in the 1960’s.
The female energy entity from the 1960’s
I looked at the face and asked why I was back drinking Ayahuasca when it was possible for the nice lady to communicate with me without it in the 1960’s. It said that I been ‘altered’ shortly after that experience and it was not possible for the lady to show herself yet but she was the still the force that physically directs me and shows me the things I have already passed on and what I have to pass on. I was told that if I’d assumed that forces in another dimension don’t suffer for trying to help people in this world then I’d be very very wrong. I was told again that the human collective consciousness dictates what life is like in this world and the hurdles on the communications running track are very high unless your daft enough to watch Living TV that is.
The face said that the lady loved me very much and she will sail my ship through stormy seas and she will never let go of the wheel. I felt rather happy about this but don’t know why especially as I was told I still had more suffering to go through.
Anyway, the face said I was here this week to see ‘rituals unfold’ that will not only affect other people but they will also affect me. I was told to ‘observe’ everything because the visions this week were to be very important. I was also told I had reached ‘an age’ where I will start to move rapidly forward and the events of the last few months had taken place simply to show me that there was a force out to block my plans but I hadn’t to worry. I was told I would have to stand and face whatever shit is thrown at me and the factory worker had to come out in me if need be to wipe the shit off and throw it back.
I was also told, because of my ‘birthday’, that I had come to Bahia to be ‘kissed by the rain on my eyes, on my lips and on my heart’ as one part of the ritual and this will give me the strength to say what needs saying when it needs saying.
I was taking all this info in when I started to feel sick as the Ayhauasca took a bigger hold of me. I opened my eyes and I looked around me and saw that my fellow drinkers beds had all turned into little boats and the floor of the pousada we were in had turned into water. I started to feel even sicker so I shut my eyes. The face said ‘come in number 50 you are too old for this shit’ and smiled at me. I couldn’t do anything else but smile too. I was too old I thought. The face told me to rest my head steady but still ‘look’ and the sickness will go. I opened my eyes and I could hear and see the Shaman in full flow, his music was very trance like and strong and my whole being was flowing with it.
I looked directly at the wall I was facing and the three bamboo type blinds that were dangling down literally lit up (the ceremony took place in what was used as a dining hut). The man who had arranged the events of the week and the ceremonies was led in front of the centre panel. The Shaman’s reflection was on the left hand panel and he was changing shape into different life forms. A large bird seemed to be the main symbol being displayed in the early stages of this journey. On the right hand panel two hooded priest type monk figures appeared on the makeshift screen.
The bamboo type blinds in 5 sense reality
Rough Sketch of how the blinds changed whilst under Ayahuasca
The only natural light was coming from the shamans’ fire and that only affected the left hand panel. The other two panels were illuminated from no known light source whatsoever apart from whatever was causing my open-eyed vision.
The centre panel then expanded backwards and a long tunnel type pathway appeared. It was very 3D and very graphic. I could see right through the blinds and the trees in the background had changed shape at the end of the tunnel and created this kind of symbol.
The symbol resembled this photo
I was utterly transfixed with the vision. It was very very real. I realised that modern day religions, especially Christianity, use these ancient geometric symbols hidden in stain glassed windows etc but I assure you they are nothing to do with a Jesus figure they are used as a form of hypnosis and covert symbolism. Obviously if you stick some pictures of Jesus and Mary inside this symbolism religious people ‘respect’ and endorse the symbolism. Small symbols often represent bigger symbols and the sheeple have no idea what the symbols mean when they get on their knees in front of them in churches and temples.
Typical hypnotic occult multidimensional symbolism used by modern day religions as a ‘stained glass window’. The symbol in the centre is similar to the one I saw above the organiser in Bahia. The modern day religions have duped the masses into worshipping ‘geometry’.
I was told later by a another drinker that this was know, in modern day symbolism terms, as a rose window. The man who was led on the bed in front of the centre panel suddenly got up and walked away and it all went dark again. The vision of the tunnel disappeared so I glanced around the room and all sorts of things were going on with the other drinkers but the beds were no longer like boats though they were coffin like beds. The man who had left the bed and who was a central figure of the vision returned to his bed and as soon as he lay down the central panel illuminated again (without a natural light source) This time the tunnel appeared from the’ back of his head’ in the form of a basic staircase that went right up the centre of the rose window.
The two other panels lit up again too and the Shaman’s reflection took on the shape of a big cat and the third panel took on the shape of a big cat too. So I literally had the vision of a man lying down on a very special looking coffin type bed with a dark tunnel staircase coming out of the back of his head that led to an illuminated symbol that looked like a rose window. Well all I could think of was that I was totally shit faced. The Shaman’s music was totally entrancing me too and I started giggling to myself. What the hell is going on I thought. Why am I seeing these things in the way I am seeing them? I shut my eyes trying to change the vision.
The face that has been with me on every Ayahuasca journey so far appeared again and it literally ‘came out from the rose window’, it came through the window like a brick, and as it did the vision of the symbol and the staircase/tunnel immediately disappeared. What the hell are you giggling at laddie it said? Who the hell do you think you are? I asked you to look and observe, not giggle like a kid. Are you 50 or bloody 5?
It said, in a stern fatherly voice, “you are not here to play games – it’s time to observe and endorse” I immediately knew the face was trying to help me and it was not really scolding me. The face went on to show me, through flashback vision, the events of the day and pointed out ‘my greed’ at lunchtime when I fed my face with steak pie and swilled ale. I was shown the size of the pie. It was massive
The face told me that the pie and the ale were also part of the ritual that was going on during that week and I had not to fall in to the trap of thinking that ‘things’ were only happen under the influence of the Ayahuasca and the Shaman whilst I was in Brazil. I was told that there was never going to be any respite from my experiences in the week and I was to be on duty, in continuous ritual, twenty-four hours a day and my actions when not under the influence of Ayahuasca were just as important as when I was under the influence of Ayahuasca.
The face said I should be more observant if I wish to understand more. Every little thing the group was doing was important no matter how trivial or spontaneous it may appear at the time. The face told me I was too busy swigging my ale at lunchtime that I didn’t realise the bottle it was in “was not really a bottle it was a stone”. “It is a rolling stone too”. “We even stuck a bloody candle in it and you still didn’t ‘see’ it”. That beer bottle was connected to the symbol I have just passed through.
It wasn’t a bottle it was a stone, a rolling stone, I was told!
I apologised to the face. I didn’t have a bloody clue what it meant but as soon as I remembered the bottle I knew I would have seen that stone symbolism straight away if I had not only been concentrating on swigging down the contents of the bottle as a birthday treat.
The face told me that ‘I had been made ill’ prior to the visit to Brazil to prepare my body for starvation. I was to eat very little for the entire visit. “The only way you see and hear real greed is through starvation” it said. “I hope you enjoyed your birthday pie and ale today because you will be eating nothing but dry bread and porridge this week” it continued. The comment “You will be so hungry you will have to eat your own fingers if you want to survive” stuck in my mind the most. “It’s part of the ritual”. I felt some uneasiness about this but it explained a hell of a lot about all the events leading up to me visiting Brazil.
The face told me that the secret rulers of this world rely on ‘greed’ to help enslave us. It is really our own greed that feeds the Serpent Cult not theirs. My heart fluttered as I heard these words and it all started to make sense to me. It is our manipulated emotions of ‘want‘ and our ‘fear’ of not having what others have that cause emotional greed. All greed is caused through ‘want ‘and ‘fear’ not ‘need’. It should be no secret to the masses as many have said that a needy man only wishes to seek his basic survival needs but a greedy man seeks to control the needs of the needy. That has been obvious for thousands of years.
The masses constantly wish to be something or somebody else, someone more wealthier and something that is easier to live with, simply because they believe wealth brings happiness and freedom. Therefore the majority of human beings are under hypnotic trance to continually crave the same powers of the greedy. Greed is an energy created by the minds of the poor not the rich. The face then said ‘do you understand this Matthew?’ I said ‘yes thank you‘. The face said ‘tell others what you understand in stories then‘. I said I would.
The face then told me that I needed to protect and heal myself and have a brief connection with ‘what I once was’. It said look at the sky. I did. It was clear and full of stars and a near full moon. It told me to put some of my ‘50th birthday happy pills’ (novelty mints) in my mouth and take a mouthful of water but do not swallow them. I had to offer the mixture of the happy pills and water, ‘the vintage happy medicine’ to the other elements and in return I will be ‘Kissed and Protected by the Rain’. The face then said ‘I’m off – see you later” sort of thing it then winked and in a puff disappeared.
I was presented with these happy pills (The vintage medicine) in Bahia
I then automatically walked down to the beach and spat the water and mint mixture out on to the sand and sea on the beach. I threw the remaining water on the beach too as that was the amount of liquid rain that would hit me. I had been told this but I had absolutely no idea what the meaning was to this act or what the mints represented. I was shit faced remember? I then went back to my bed. A rumbling started in my ears and I felt a little giddy. Then a sharp breeze picked up that turned in to quite a strong wind and the sky was suddenly full of cloud that literally came like a thief in the night. I automatically went and stood in a spot in front of the swimming pool where I’d had previous experiences in September 2007. I arched my head back and the light Rain hit my face. Oh my brothers what can I say? Behold my love for the Rain came to mind and only love can bring it.
I was in heaven and I soaked up every single drop. Every drop was a happy drop. Every drop hit my heart. It was good. I was glad.
The rain then stopped and I knew the first ceremony was over. I went to the toilet and caught my ugly face in the mirror. One drop of rainwater rolled down my cheek like a tear and I tell you the truth I’d gladly take a thousand real ones to see that one again.
The second ceremony.
You could only repeat what we told you
By the time the second ceremony came around it was the 11th March 2009. I had now not eaten for 5 days apart from a few spoonfuls of what “I was allowed’. Believe me if I tried to eat I immediately found out that it was a bad idea and was not going to happen. The spiritual forces that direct me make sure I don’t do what I’m not supposed to and sometimes it’s embarrassing.
I was starting to feel very physically weak and I was coming down with several minor skin diseases etc. For example I had impetigo up my nose and that was the most painful but I also developed jock itch (Bloody Sainsbury’s underpants I say) was the most annoying. I was feeling very sorry for myself at times.
The time for the second ceremony soon came around and it was a full moon with a clear sky. I struggled again to swallow the Ayahuasca down but a few of the tiny 50th birthday happy pill mints put me right and got rid of the awful taste. I was in the same position as I was on the first ceremony. I was about 10 feet away from the Shaman and his table on my left hand side and I was facing the same three bamboo type blinds and a few beds below them as I was on the night of the first ceremony. The man responsible for the event, the creator if you like, creator of the event had showed me a stone that had been given to him and it was in the shape of an egg. It was very warm to the touch for some reason like a proper incubated egg that was ready to hatch would feel.
The medicine soon kicked in, as my body had no natural defences anymore and within 30 minutes the same sounds and visions started to take place. I was happy to get on my bed. The same dreaded humming noise started as it did last October and the whole area started to hum and vibrate. I started to think I was going to be flattened with the energy and I panicked a bit but it never happened.
It never happened. I felt safe and calm but had a strong sick feeling in my guts and chest. I started to look around to see if I was really under the influence of the medicine and when I saw the Shaman’s lovely assistant Sara turn in to a large black bird as she threw some kind of jacket around her shoulders. I thought ‘yes Matt you are definitely shit faced again’.
I looked at the roof of the pousada and ancient symbols were flying around all over the place. There was a map on the wall over the fire that turned into a bird too but it was like it was wafting the fire to raise the flames with its wings.
My bed whist under ayahuasca: The map on the wall (top right) turned into an image of a bird wafting the fire.
The Shaman started his magical music again and was chanting. It was literally like he had five heads and 10 arms. His face was in the middle and the 4 other faces surrounded him. They moved around in a clockwise circular movement. Every time a face reached the 12 o’clock position it pulled a funny face and changed colour. The Shamans arms were moving so fast I could only see a blur but then all 10 arms suddenly pointed at the area of the wall (blinds) where I had the vision on my birthday two days previous.
The same area was illuminated again but I looked straight back at the Shaman who had now changed into a mass of hair and he was a bit like a ‘cousin it’ figure from the Munsters. A bird then landed on his head just like my wife’s budgie Mido does in our house when he is set free from his cage. Although the visions were turning very strange I knew they had deep meaning but I still started to shake my head and doubt my sanity. I thought what the flipping hell is going on here. I started to take deep breaths trying to get a grip on the situation. The shaman’s fire was flickering but it was not illuminating the area of the bamboo panels but again this area had its own source of illumination.
The man’s bed that I mentioned in the first ceremony got higher and bigger in size. It was like twice as high as it looked two days ago. The beds either side of the said bed turned in to flat doors just like the cellar doors that are outside old pubs. They then turned in to holes in the ground. I shut my eyes for a second and the face of the Jor El figure appeared out of one of the holes just like he had appeared through the rose window symbol in the last ceremony. He was holding up a sign called ‘greed’ with a picture of a pig at a trough on it. The word Matthew was written on the side of the pig. The face then ‘leaped’ over the said big bed and literally disappeared down the other hole. Then a few seconds later the face appeared again out of the hole it had just gone down carrying the same sign but the pig had turned around on the sign and was facing the other way and the word Mark was written on the other side of the pig. (Obviously folks I was getting more shit-faced by the moment!) The face again jumped over the high bed with the sign and disappeared down the other hole.
I opened my eyes and looked at a fellow drinker called Mark who was located behind me and he indeed looked like a pig and he was on all fours. I’m sure Mark would say I’m mistaken as he usually symbolises and actually prefers to be a dog whilst under the influence of Ayahuasca… but what the hell. Many Ayahuasca drinkers are sometimes actually sometimes ‘possessed’ by spirit animals and unless you have actually witnessed this take place it sounds so bloody unbelievable. I can only say that with my eyes shut I saw a sign being held up by a head with no body that looks Marlon Brando showing a picture of a pig with the word Mark written on it and with my eyes open Mark looked exactly like a pig.
Anyway my head was spinning and the humming sound was still with me. The face had gone without saying anything. I shut my eyes again hoping the face would come back through the hole but he didn’t.
I looked again at the man on the big bed and the step tunnel and the rose window had appeared again. There was a bright colourful bottle object standing on a shelf just above the man with the high bed. The object turned in to the shape of a type of genie’s lamp right before my eyes. The spout and the handle of this lamp type gadget turned in to arms and the rest of the lamp turned it to a pair of breasts (tits) and some shapely hips so it was like watching a sexy dance thing.
I was beginning to enjoy this dance and I was in a deep trance whilst watching it when my eyes must have shut involuntary and the face appeared again. The face said,” you were bloody observing things then weren’t you?” “If that ale bottle on your birthday had have had a pair of tits on it you would have spotted them a mile off eh?” I started to giggle.
The face went on to tell me that I had to somehow get ‘a very powerful secret message’ actually inside of the genies lamp/dancing lady that I was seeing. It was part of the ritual we were carrying out and it had to happen in this dimension (5 senses) as well as another dimension to help make the ritual eventually successful. This ‘impossible task’ was mainly to benefit the creator of the event because it was one of the ‘conditions’ that needed to be met. The face told me I had to receive ‘this very powerful secret message’ as a verbal declaration from the man’s ‘loved one’ before it was placed in the genie type lamp.
Well I knew on a five-sense level that the object that was appearing as a genie type lamp/dancing lady under Ayahuasca was only very small on a five sense level and I knew it was going to be very difficult to physically place anything in it at all and I hadn’t a clue what to do anyway. I was completely shit faced and feeling very sick and my arsehole was beginning to send out serious warning signals of impending explosions. I knew I was going to be sick or I would be shitting very soon. I also still had that humming sound in my ears that was starting to drive me insane. (What do you mean I already am insane?)
The face then told me to hurry up and get all this done before I purged! The face then somehow rewound my memory back a few weeks and I soon realised what I had to do. I then went back to my room and got hold of a small object I had brought with me. I then went to the man’s wife and asked her to read what was written on the object, which she did and I said magic in reply and I then swiftly placed the object inside the other object that I had seen as a symbolic lamp/dancing lady that was on the shelf on a five-sense level. This meant symbolically I placed a very powerful secret message in a genie type lamp or dancing lady on another dimensional level. I had carried out a ritual that had both a physical meaning on a five sense level and spiritual meaning in another dimension. This is what the object was. It was only half an inch in size.
The ‘symbolic’ and portable very powerful secret message. A secure revelation?
Can you see how ‘very powerful secret message’ symbolism was contained in such a small object? ‘A locked up revelation’ if you like? Can you see beyond your normal five senses and see the ambiguity of such an act. Well can you? I can see and ‘the impossible task’ that I couldn’t even understand 10 minutes previously was not only done but it was done well. Oh my brothers it was done well.
I then ran off to the toilet to purge and oh my brothers that was done well too and I was glad it was. I could have shit through eye of a needle without touching any metal.
I then returned to the pool area and I knew I was coming out of my Ayahuasca journey on that day. A small rain shower appeared from nowhere and I soaked it up again. I knew on a different level that it was a thank you. I might have been in cloud cuckoo land but it felt great. Was I simply shit faced on drugs and hallucinating? Am I capable of pre-planning events and then carrying them out whilst under Ayahuasca? I don’t think so but some force had pre-planned events had had made sure that the right props had been in place. Anyone who has drunk the stuff called Ayahuasca knows that you cannot pre-plan your journey and I’m the same. My mind was swimming with symbolism and flashbacks of the events as I went to try and sleep.
The third ceremony
You only earned what we gave you
Before the third and final ceremony that took place on Friday the thirteenth the Ayahuasca tribe went to a beach restaurant for a meal on the Thursday night. I still hadn’t eaten enough to keep a mouse alive for 8 days so I knew I was in for a difficult night. We arrived to see a large 14-seater table covered in flower petals and the moon still looked pretty full to me although it was the night after the proper full moon. It was a very surreal event for me and I got the strongest feeling of déjà vu at this restaurant. The evening seemed more symbolic than anything else and the tribe seemed to pass each other subconscious messages like we were getting the facts right before any ritual was complete.
The restaurant table covered in flower petals on Thursday 12th March 2009
All in all it was a very pleasant evening and I took mental stock of what had already gone on. We broke the no drinking rules and I managed to sink two pints of Brazilian lager. I woke on Friday the thirteenth feeling very very weak. I literally had no strength left at all. I had only gone hungry for a week and I have a lot of flab to keep me alive and kicking so I dread to think what happens to those that go without food for months. That said I was still suffering and I was still wondering what the reason for me not eating was all about. I was at least getting liquids and again if i tried to eat something made me not eat. Maybe it was a simple lesson for me because everyone around me appeared to be greedy or discussing something greedy. My hunger certainly gave me a perspective I hadn’t had before and it was very educational and after five or six days of not eating your body goes in to a different mode.
I ate a bowl of a type of rice porridge on the morning of the ceremony that was to take place on Friday the thirteenth. but I really struggled to function properly. I tried to be as sociable as possible but I felt like shit.
The day seemed long but fortunately it was to be a ‘daytime’ ceremony and it was soon time to drink the medicine again. I decided to move my bed further away from the Shaman simply because it was a very hot day and he would be lighting a fire that would only raise the temperature even higher. I ended up directly facing the fellah that had created the week’s events. He was the man who had the rose window and staircase type tunnel behind him and whose bed was next to the bamboo type screen. The entire weeks events seemed to be centered on this man’s journey.
We would be drinking the Ayahuasca in daylight but we would still be under the Ayahuasca when the sun went down. I I really struggled to get the Ayahuasca down again but my happy pill birthday mints helped me rid myself of the awful taste again. It was just like the spoon full of sugar scenario in Mary Poppins
I wandered around the pool area again simply waiting for the medicine to take effect on me. It was bright and sunny. It was a beautiful day. I looked out to sea and I looked at the palm trees started to sway and the sea seemed to join in, but that uncomfortable humming started again and started to increase in intensity.
I was wearing my hat and I started to waft myself with it. The medicine was starting to affect me very rapidly and I didn’t like the way it was going. I felt awful and the humming was increasing. I started to feel very dizzy so I headed for the sanctuary of my mattress.
The Shaman was already playing his music but it was more annoying me than putting me in a trance this time. I was thinking ‘turn the fucking thing down’. I was very stressed and feeling like shit. I shut my eyes in an attempt to run from the noise and the panic I was feeling in the hope of getting some comfort. I was then rushed in to a vision that I couldn’t stop. Whoossssshhhh. I saw a pool of ancient symbolism madness, a kaleidoscope if you like, swirling around. I felt very sick. I wanted to come out of the journey and I vowed never to drink this bloody Ayahuasca again. (About the fifth time I said it I think!) Some form of energy was pounding my head again. I flipped over on to my stomach and whooosh everything went very calm.
Another vision appeared, it was seeing the outside of a temple type building.
I saw myself dressed in a feathered suit again looking a right proper Charlie (See previous ayahuasca articles). I was literally looking down on myself like I was in an out of body experience scenario. It appeared like a group of people had run out of a sort of a back door of the temple. They were running to hide from something. I was then stood in a fast flowing shallow river or canal (thigh high water). I was helping some people cross it by ‘using my arms to stop them slipping’. The water was usually used for some kind of baptism. A baptism by fire. The people grabbed hold of the feathers on my suit to stop them slipping. When I’d got everyone else across the river I attempted to get myself across too but because of the silly feathered suit I was wearing and the fact that i had no shoes on and my feet my footing was very weak and I slipped like a clown and ended up face down/arse up in the water. The feather suit acted like a sponge and became very heavily sodden with the water very quickly.
I couldn’t get up and because the suit had like a chicken head to it the weight of the suit around my head pulled my face further down in to the water. i was top heavy. I was flipping drowning simply because I was dressed in a silly bloody chicken suit. I was literally thinking I don’t want to die like this – like a ‘clumsy chicken’. Then in my vision I suddenly felt something pull me out of the water and somehow push the water out of my lungs and I spit it all out but in five-sense reality I was simply puking my guts up outside of the pousada area. I was experiencing both events at the same time. I had one foot in each dimension. I was gasping for breath and I felt very dizzy outside of some temple on one dimension and i was staggering back to my bed totally dizzy and breathing deeply in another dimension.
When I recovered I looked across to the section of the pousada, the bamboo type blinds, that had shown me many things this week. The same colourful object that had taken the shape of a genie’s lamp was there on the same shelf next to some other objects. The man who runs heart of the Initiate, Ralph Miller, was on a mattress diagonally across from me and was next to the organiser of the event who seemed again to be the main focus of the ritual.
I looked at the items on the shelf and the colourful object (glass bottle) had actually turned in to a blue man figure and the other items had turned in to a small brown bed with a dark haired woman laying on it. It was like watching a clay model type cartoon, like morph if you like. It was oh so real and it was oh so bloody weird.
The bed looked like this.
Suddenly the sun broke through the bamboo type blinds and struck Ralph Miller on the face. It was an amazing sight because Ralph had no idea and he never moved. His eyes were shut and I could see he was away with the fairies somewhere having a journey of his own. Then the light from Ralph’s face hit the blue man and the lady on the brown bed. It was like a scene from an Indiana Jones movie and I was gobsmacked. The light from Ralph’s face then hit the blue man and then the blue man bent over and kissed the lady on the brown bed. I know it sounds bloody silly but that’s what I saw.
The blinds and pillars looked like this in everyday life
Rough sketch of how the same area appeared under Ayahuasca visions showing the position of the blue man and the brown lady on the bed.
As soon as the kiss took place the bamboo screen appeared to open up and stretch backwards again (don’t forget it was daytime) and the rose window and staircase appeared again. The rose type window then crumbled and fell apart and the staircase turned into a country path, something like the yellow brick road in the Wizard of Oz if you know what I mean, but it all still felt very real. It was like a strange type of magic was taking place and this magic had been created by the entire group. The rose window was broken and because of hit a dark stair case had turned in to a light path. I knew the event meant more to some individuals than others but it felt like sheer relief and an achievement to me. How do you explain to a group that their five sense actions and their subconscious thoughts had created this situation for me to witness? It would be madness to suggest such a thing wouldn’t it? I looked across towards the blue man and the brown woman again and saw Ralph Miller as some sort of official dressed in yellow. The ritual had taken place from his mouth (the light hitting the blue man from his face symbolised this) I found myself nearly weeping over the blue man and the brown bed and the brown lady then I realised in five sense reality that the blue man was a glass bottle and the brown bed was a bloody maraca. I giggled to myself.
Then I suddenly got the urge to stand up and go to the swimming pool area again. I then saw ‘Peter’ who was playing the role of some sort of symbolic chairperson in this ritual and I automatically gave him $50 and despite the look on his face it still went in his pocket quicker than an alcoholic opening his first bottle of the day and flinging the bottle top away.
I stood facing the sea and I knew the blue man / brown girl ceremony was over and everybody had indeed accepted it on that day even if they didn’t have a clue on a five sense level. I ‘confirmed the ceremonies worthiness’ simply because for some reason I had the bloody right and symbolic baggage to do so.
I was exhausted and my physical weakness was taking its toll on my body and my mind. I went back to my mattress and tried to get some peace and quiet and sleep. People seemed to be half in a journey and half out of one. The humming sound wouldn’t go away. I shut my eyes and the face appeared again smiling at me it told me it was proud of me, but for what it didn’t say. It apologised for causing me to live out the week with the effects of hunger but it said I would learn and remember a great deal from the rituals that had taken place this week and those rituals had to be witnessed and endorsed by a starving man. I was told that i would be able to eat small amounts from now on but if i got the strong urge not to eat then i hadn’t to eat.
The face said its farewell’s after telling me some personal stuff that made me weep like a baby. I was literally on all fours with my head in a pillow but I pulled myself together by thinking ‘pull yourself together you are only shit faced you silly bugger’. The face told me to go down to the beach area then it winked and disappeared. Shit faced or not I did what it said. It was starting to go dark.
I sat in my favourite position on the beach looking out to sea. My head swirling and the humming noises were still driving me insane. Only deep thought seem to ease the niggling effect the noise had on me. There was a nice sea breeze blowing in my face as I questioned my visions and my sanity. I asked myself how I’d ended up in such a beautiful location and where were events taking me. I just knew that the events were important.
Matthew Delooze at home with the elements in paradise
I decided to move back to the swimming pool area to watch the Sun go down. The patterns on the surface of the swimming pool entranced me and I started to see faces appear on top of the pool. They were like white drawings on a blue background sort of thing. The more the breeze increased the more vivid the visions got. Visions of faces were appearing and they seemed to be coming across the pool towards me. I was totally entranced with them. Then suddenly the faces became very clear. They were all faces of me.
I saw faces of myself in the pool they were all waiting for me to do something
As the sun went down on Friday the thirteenth a ‘yellow’ near full moon rose up from the sea. I knew my journey was over. I also realised it was the autumn ‘Harvest’ moon in the southern hemisphere. I pondered on the facts of the five sense events that had come to pass that week. It had been my 50th birthday, a full moon and Friday the thirteenth all rolled in to one.
The Yellow Harvest Moon was brightest on Friday the thirteenth
The harvest Moon Rose On an emotional level it was a week of starvation and a week of blatant greed. It was a week of giving and a week of taking. It was a week of sheer bravery and a week of fear.
On a spiritual or inter-dimensional level it was a week of ritual and unification and a week to test faith. If there was ever a time for an official ceremony to be carried out then I’m bloody sure it was meant to be carried out during that week, if only for the full moon/Friday the thirteenth. There can literally ‘never’ be another week to match it symbolically ever. So promises and rituals carried out during that week can never be overturned because the circumstances can never be repeated to contradict the original ritual using the same ingredients, not in this millennium anyway.
Indeed the week only needed a daft bloke dancing with a cane under his arm and shaking a hat above his head whilst singing in “Give me the Moonlight give me the Girl” mode and it would have been a completely mad and unbelievable ritualistic week. But isn’t that how it all works? Isn’t that how the Serpent Cult control us simply all by getting us to take part in binding rituals that we don’t understand? Please don’t laugh at the rituals I saw and then go and crowd around a church font and watch some arsehole put water on a baby’s head and claim the baby is then protected from evil and then do not laugh at that ritual also.
If rituals really do have binding consequences attached to them then a deceptive force only has to trick us in to carrying them out to bind us. Out of all the continuous rituals being carried out by the human race for thousands of years NOT one good thing has come from them, yet millions of people still carry them out on a daily, weekly and yearly basis.
Maybe the rituals I saw at Bahia are simply a production from my sick mind and the symbolism I have mentioned means nothing and my visions are simply visions of madness seen through the blue eyes of a loony.
I say I witnessed and described rituals that will assist certain folks that are reading this article to have the means to assist them in finding spiritual freedom in the future.
Oh I nearly forgot… anyone remember Ralph Miller burning my panama hat on the Shaman’s fire in September 2007. I am now very glad to say that I was presented with a far finer new birthday panama hat just a few feet away from where Ralph burnt the old one. Just as I always knew I would.
Well folks, that’s about all I can tell you. I realise the events will seem to be meaningless hallucinations to most people. Was I just shitfaced because I drank a drug? Maybe I was. I have only written down the events I felt I should write down and its entirely up to you if you think the words are the meaningless rant of a drugged up madman or not. It has cost you nothing to read about them so I’m not after your money either. I believe the subconscious information passed on through this article will assist those folks out there that want assisting!
I have not made anything up either (can’t see the point in that). I actually saw and felt the things as I have described them in this article. I really don’t give a monkey’s if you believe me or not. My work is 50% five sense information and 50% subconscious symbolic information so please bear that in mind.
The only thing I can add is that the face that looks like Jor El was correct about at least one thing and I really did end up ‘eating my own fingers’ when I was starving and it was indeed part of the ritual. I actually ate at least six of them but when you think about that it still leaves me a couple to stick up to the Serpent Cult and officially say ‘its done’ and add that I’m not as daft as I look.
I would like to thank from the bottom of my heart the generous creators of the event that took place in Bahia and especially for the wonderful new hat. I tip that hat to Piers & Tracy with my eternal gratitude. Many thanks go to the Shaman Warinei and Sara and to all the other staff including the chef for the steak pie. Another thank you goes to Ralphy Boy and Peter at Heart of the Initiate and all the Ayahuasca drinkers and of course members of the yid army, with special thanks to Mark for the precious gifts that made the week unfold for me in the way it did, you really were a star. Super compliments are sent to Dickens Media for providing such wonderful ventriloquist comedy shows and the lobby music. Extra special thanks and love go to Susie my lovely wife for putting up with an arsehole like me!