See You – Heal You

See You – Heal You (2009)


 By Matthew Delooze

And if while in the course of my duty
I perform an unfortunate take
Would you punish me so, unbelievably so
never again will I make that mistake
This feeling inside me could never deny me
the right to be wrong if I choose
And this pleasure I get – from say winning a bet
“Is to lose”
From the song nothing rhymed”

Hello all,

I hope all of you are well. I have been in severe physical pain for the last 5 days or so. “Hey Matthew Delooze has got gout, the Disease of Kings” (‘Grout’ as I called it). I suppose when just out of the blue we become incapacitated on a physical level it hits home straight away. It was a case of “Wham… cope with that sunny Jim” sort of thing. One minute you think you can still run a marathon and the next you can’t even get to the toilet. I have tried my best over the last few days but I couldn’t walk and I was in deep pain. I wouldn’t wish this disease on anybody. Well maybe one person comes to mind at a push. (Come on forgive me we are not all perfect!)

With ‘physical’ disability we totally understand that we need help and treatment to be able to get around and we usually crave instant ‘healing’ on a physical level don’t we? “Give me a pill or bandage me up sort of thing”. We would also take an instant cure for our physical pain from any source wouldn’t we? We are not fussy on that score. We’d even take a cure from a leper as long as they got rid of the pain we are suffering from right? We wouldn’t give a sausage as to where the cure came from as long as it actually came would we? We’d steal it, beg it or borrow it. I’m sure I would with this bloody gout. Anyone that has experienced severe pain understands that, don’t they? That said it is easy to forget what severe physical pain is like when we have not got it any more. We can’t feel the physical pain of others and we can only empathise with the pain of others if we have suffered from the same disease.

The same scenario applies to spiritual pain too. We have no prejudices when it comes to the curing of our physical injury or disease do we? But it is only when we fully understand what is wrong with us AND it is only when we actually know someone who has the cure, that we can actually direct all our attention to healing ourselves. E.G. If you break your arm or leg you know it is going to be ‘painful’ and the broken limb will be in plaster for weeks, but once you know of a good and worthy Doctor and nurse to patch you up you know you will be cured. Despite the ‘pain’ you accept this forthcoming cure because you know is is based on truth and that you will be healed at the end of the day. Therefore we simply put up with the physical pain because we ‘know’ we will be healed ASAP.

It is very different when we suffer on a spiritual level because although we know there is something wrong with us, we don’t know the cure. We simply don’t know for sure who is the best or worthiest spiritual Doctor or who the best or worthiest spiritual nurse. We know we have spiritual problems but we don’t have a truthful diagnosis, truthful prognosis or truthful treatment do we? Not a proven one anyway. Indeed on spiritual matters you don’t even bloody know which Doctor to go to do you? We simply live in hope and/or follow a trial and error policy.

So on a spiritual level ‘we run away from and try to avoid spiritual pain’ because we have not got a true and worthy diagnosis or prognosis and we don’t know the cure. So we simply seek some ‘comfort’ instead of a cure. We seek to ease the symptoms of spiritual disease simply because there is no known bread and butter cure. When we do not understand the spiritual dis-ease we have and we will avoid an unproven cure at all costs especially if it is seen or felt as ‘pain’. We all have what appears to be a spiritual dis-ease yet we can’t find the phone number of a competent and worthy doctor in the yellow pages to cure it. We simply use a method of suck it and see, via various websites and other media, to find who has the best remedy for the symptoms we suffer from. We use the various remedies that are available to us. It does not really matter what they are or who supplies them.

Indeed aren’t the modern day new-age gurus or famous conspiracy theorists the nearest thing to the ancient spiritual healer types for the masses to seek a cure from? Do some of them not claim to cure our spiritual ailments? (Especially those selling alternative foods and medicines) Are these gurus not simply symbolic ‘Doctors” on a New Age Addict ward or Conspiracy Addict ward? Is this hospital ward symbolic of the hoards of chronic and confused conspiracy and new age truth movement addicts? Yes?

If so, don’t these symbolic Doctors also supply the symbolic private healthcare prescriptions, through website subscriptions, with fees to match, which prescribe the conspiracy food (more and more of the same information) that they claim will cure us? Well don’t they? Surely this scenario is on a par with a physical Doctor shoving pill after pill in your mouth isn’t it?

Haven’t these new age gurus and conspiracy theorists managed to get a lot of people hooked on the food they have supplied? Haven’t these gurus also set in stone the ground rules for the supply and demand of the information (food) that is being supplied too? These ground rules are on a par with the Ten Commandments or the parable of throwing the first stone at the adulteress and basically they are simply ‘do as we say not as we do’ rules?


  Is it the truth or simply a fix for new age and conspiracy addicts?

Well I certainly think they are. I have to say I see groups of sad anonymous conspiracy punters running or flitting around websites just like heroin addicts look for their daily fix. They are sad, sad people and I should know I have done it too. Indeed these sad ‘anonymous addicts’ operate on a par with ‘Mr X’ visiting a sex disease clinic and they are literally bloody terrified that their true identity will come out in public or on a forum.

 Oh My God they know who I am now and they also now know I’m a conspiracy addict” Oh my god, woe, woe and thrice woe”.

(The fears of a conspiracy website addict)

      I tell you the truth I wish I were joking. I really do. If these punters really knew about receiving any true cure for their spiritual diseases or even had any true spiritual direction they wouldn’t be running around all over the place blindly visiting conspiracy quacks that are simply selling or telling them anything they can muster. These conspiracy quacks, in the main, are simply ‘feeding the addiction’ of the addicts and are not ‘finding any cure’.  Maybe I do the same eh? There is a very thin line between supplying spiritually awakening triggers and supplying sleeping/happy pills for drones.

If you believe you are part of a shift you will also believe you need to lust after and chase any and all of the new-age information you can find to help you be part of that shift eh? What shift is that then? Shifting from one theory changing guru to another to suit your ego and your preferred comfort zone of the time?

Or does the shift simply comprise of conspiracy addicts shifting from one conspiracy forum to another whilst ‘sniffing up’ any left over conspiracy information that has been dropped, like some hard up cocaine sniffer upper would sniff up any dust available? It sure seems so to me.

Maybe the perceived spiritual shift is simply a temporary change from McDonalds to Burger King, where you always end up back chomping on the Big Mac whatever you try for a change?

Have I got it wrong?

I don’t think so and I say the things I say to help not hinder. Don’t a lot of ‘awakened conspiracy addicts and new age forum gossips’ all run around the websites of the conspiracy doctors and new age gurus everyday looking for their fix? Again I say this with good intent.

The conspiracy doctors and new age gurus will always be there to sell you food but they will never ever satisfy your hunger – only you can heal you”

(Matthew Delooze August 2009)

     So please tell me how I have got it wrong if I have indeed got it wrong? Hey I’d love to play fluffy bunnies with you everyday. I’d love to continually supply popular pie in the sky info and help create massive stats on the conspiracy website’s databases just to show others how the ‘shift is growing by the hour’ and to earn money to show me how clever I am.  I can indeed supply conspiracy ‘fodder stories’ for you like 9/11, 7/7 and JFK (etc.) for eternity if you want, and this is simply because these subjects are guaranteed to ease the symptoms of the conspiracy addicts for decades to come. But  ‘Yes’ fodder stories will feed an addiction or deep curiosity but they won’t ever, ever, cure the addicts or help create a proper awakening in anyone.

These subjects are always popular but they will ‘cure’, heal or shift absolutely nothing. It also appears the ‘popular’ truth these days is to be entirely based on how many hits the popular truth gets on YouTube or some other public network sites. Well isn’t it? The truth actually depends on amount of web hits it attracts now does it?

Oh my god, so and so got 500,000 hits on you tube so the shift in consciousness is already in the bag whoopie!. So I’ll simply go back to sleep after I watch the next series of X Factor. Please text me or email me the link to the YouTube clip showing when the shift has finished, so I can click on that too

So based on the comment above the ‘shift’ is actually going to be based on the slickest YouTube clip and how many folks actually click on it is it? It appears, to the ‘fashionable awakened’ that all we have to do to achieve spiritual freedom through a massive shift in consciousness is simply is to witness a ‘biggy’ that has been produced from someone in the conspiracy biz placing his or her opinions or wares on you tube. Whoopee. I didn’t realise it was so bloody easy!

OK then…  if that is the case lets look at the biggest all time youtube clip, the very super bestest for clicks clip, of all time (so far) eh? It is called Charlie bit my finger again. It has over 500 million hits (2013). I love it and Charlie and his brother are stars and I must admit the clip is very ‘symbolic’ too, if you actually care to think about it or look for the parable within it. Please click here to watch it.  ( It is cute but please make sure you don’t get your hand bitten by following ‘a shift’ that is simply based on computer clicks on YouTube. Or it may bite you and we all know we don’t like getting bitten, especially by a Charlie, don’t we? Indeed even Lady Gaga fans are upset and jealous over the fact that the Charlie clip is listed as the highest ranked clip, so maybe Lady Gaga will want to lead the shift in collective consciousness instead?

Well if the fashionable shift is going to be based on ‘numbers and clicks’ then why not have Lady Gaga lead us? We can even have a designer handbag shift if we use the right clips on YouTube. No problem. Anyway it appears, amongst the ascended and awakened, that all we have to do to create a collective shift is to get a decent conspiracy clip to out do both Charlie and Lady Gaga on YouTube. Hey Presto spiritual freedom. I’m sure David Icke ,Alex Jones and my mate Popey will be favourite to get loads and loads of clicks but I can’t see them beating Charlie biting his brothers hand can you? Charlie literally eats them for breakfast for youtube hits doesn’t he? So come on folks if you want a fashionable shift in consciousness through YouTube then get on your PC’s and visit your face book accounts, forums, and twitter and lets out do Charlie on YouTube by hyping a conspiracy clip to get millions of clicks. It does not matter which clip, any silly crap will do. It’s the clicks that counts. Well what are you waiting for?

In my opinion, there will be never be shift take place through businessmen selling heaven or through their egos, or even through hyped video tapes on YouTube. That is not to say publicity towards alternative information is not required, of course it is on one level.

Indeed even I could easily go in to ‘business’ and sell you ‘popular food’ in your hospital conspiracy ward for the next ten years if you wanted it. You’d never bloody leave the hospital though and your addiction would either increase or you’d simply go gaga. I could easily sell you heaven or stories about celebrity etc. The conspiracy punters, the conspiracy hospital ward ‘patients’ if you like, are not only putty in the hands of the conspiracy Doctors and their hospital food, they are still putty in the hands of the media, no matter how neutral or alternative that media seems to be. Even I could even make money if I joined the conspiracy hospital’s catering business that supplies you with ‘your needs’. But to carry on making money I’d have to keep serving up the food. I wouldn’t want you healed because you’d stop paying me. lets face it that’s how mainstream medicine works isn’t it? Well isn’t it?

I could maybe build a business selling conspiracy food that will feed you until you die if you want but it will not ever cure you. Never. It would feed me in this world but it will never fill you or direct you to the next and of course you will never ever be healed either. You will just be in exactly the same position next time around.

We do not heal any sort of addict by feeding him or her more of what he or she is already addicted too. Well do we? And who the hell wants to suffer with cold turkey and be healed when there are so many easier alternatives around that will keep the addicts in a blind stupor? We do not cure an addict by increasing the dosage of ‘similar’ substance either. They simply become addicted to the similar substance.

I’m sorry to say that the same scenario applies to the punters in the conspiracy camps that are seeking a cure too. It is time for truths I think. Whether you believe them or not, is up to you. I’m not here to pacify your addictions. I’m not here to try to recruit folks as a moronic pool of subscribing punters to fund me to feed them more either. Indeed I’m quite well aware that ALL addicts don’t like being told the truth about themselves and they hate anyone taking away their fixes even more. They hate it and kick out or ignore those that tell them the truth and then they still live in denial seeking their fix.

Alcoholics, Heroin Addicts, Porn Addicts etc. all live in denial but so do conspiracy addicts and new-age dreamers.

I will speak according to my observations and from my heart. I’m not here to sell you anything so I have no false ass kissing to do to you. I leave that sort of thing to the gurus that want to sell you heaven with a golden ticket. Indeed this is not Matthew Delooze Limited Company speaking to you, it is only Matthew Delooze and if I truly believe anyone needs cold turkey to help them be free then I will bloody well give it to them. It was given to me that way so I understand it only too well. I assure you I have eaten more cold turkey dinners than you have had hot dinners.

I’m do not have to worry that you will remove your subscriptions or won’t buy my latest DVD. I will still give you cold turkey. You obviously don’t have to taste it though and if you prefer folks to tell you what you want to hear then go, spit out the cold turkey, and bloody listen to them. I do not covertly run half a dozen businesses on the Internet, or have shares in conspiracy radio and conspiracy TV, whilst selling twenty-five dollar holy water and sixty-dollar bottles of powdered gold either (powdered camel shit more like). Believe me i haven’t the two faces I need to be able to do those things either.

I believe business folks are simply out to profit from your addiction and stupidity (so pleeeeease don’t tell me these business folks want a shift – because they simply want to be rich in this world as it is now by selling entertainment fixes, and a real shift will put them out of business). I don’t need to keep you reliant on my products and I’m bloody sure I’m not subjected to or concerned about the wise monkey policy, sold without question to sad conspiracy punters, surrounding the businessmen in the conspiracy biz.

I want all of you to be free and not to be constipated because of overpriced powdered camel shit. If I can’t help achieve that then I at least want to see some or even only one of you to be free. Indeed if I can help one person then I will be glad. I can’t help set you free by concentrating on business interests or charging you for a $10,000 hippy trip to baptise you in the River Jordan either. But each to his own eh?

Anyway I have witnessed things recently that are a good example of the current situation as I see it. Indeed I researched forum/website behaviour and conspiracy punter mentality for two years solid (2002 – 2004), including my own behaviour. I also experienced four years of studying comments and the behaviour of conspiracy ward patients on my own websites too. I have also had private emails, mostly from very good folks, dating back many years too. Therefore I can honestly and wholeheartedly tell you that nothing has changed in conspiracy circles at all up to 2009/10 (Now 2012/2013) and perceived truth movement or shift is exactly in the same scenario now as it was years ago. It is still full of lies and shit. In fact if you go back and look on forum archives from years ago, and study them now, the only difference you will find is that ‘more conspiracy food has been put on the table’ for the ‘conspiracy addicts to get high on’. Apart from that nothing has changed at all. Nothing. Absolutely NOTHING.

It is the same corrupt world as it always has been and indeed even though more enlightened egos are playing at fairies on the forums nothing has changed. Some of them are literally walking directories these days too. (Which is fine but heroin addicts gain experience too) The punters have only swallowed more and more addict food on more and more forums and on more and more websites and got fatter and fatter because of it. Yes they are symbolically fatter and they have swallowed more food but they are not healing or awakening in any shape or form, they simply store more trivia and they are more experienced in their hobby. They are just entering the conspiracy burger bar more often that’s all and scoffing junk. They are absolutely no wiser at all, indeed I’d say they were more ignorant if anything, they have just read a bigger menu and tasted and sampled more conspiracy burgers that they had done previously. They are not enlightened they are simply greedy and fat through gorging on shit food.

And you think you’re so clever and classless and free… But you’re still fucking peasants as far as I can see,

John Lennon (Working Class Hero)

      I have lost the will to supply true percentage figures from my personal research but I’ll start by saying, guessing if you like, that the average ‘punters’ in this conspiracy game are 39% mentally unstable and 39% are emotionally traumatised. Another 2% are delusional, through their ego and delusions of grandeur, and think they are the only few souls in the world that are truly out of the box. The remaining 20%, what I see as the ‘nicey – nicey folks’, are simply playing blind man’s buff on the Internet and probably putting on a false personality anyway, just like this world has programmed us all to do. So summing it all up I’d say that covers all of us.

     Which group are you in my friend… or are you the exception?

I believe I couldn’t be in any other group but the select delusional 2% or maybe I’m simply in all of them eh? Yes my wife says I’m in all the mentioned groups apart from being in the nicey-nicey person group. She says I’m 30% mentally unstable, 30% emotionally traumatised, 2% delusional and the other 38% is just pure bullshit. Can’t you tell I have been married for 27 years? :)

I tell you the truth. If you or I accept that we could be mentally unstable, emotionally traumatised, delusion or even simply full of shit (Suffering spiritual dis-ease) then we can at least start to see that we cannot possibly lead others, that will not accept being in any of those groups, to a mirror to look at themselves. You cannot Heal You until you See You. You cannot See You to Heal You unless you look with honesty.

But honest eyesight and lack of mirrors is not the only problem. Sadly the vast majority of ‘punters’ (by no means all) only have something to say if they are totally pissed on drink or high as a kite on dope. Indeed this country must have thousands of anonymous nocturnal piss heads or drug heads that pathetically sit at a computer trying to catch a clue of who they really are in the universe. They sometimes pluck up the courage to actually say something, usually intoxicated in some way or simply hiding behind anonymity, but they rarely say anything at all whilst sober or in the open. These saddos really have my sympathy. Indeed they have absolutely nothing in their heads that was actually home-grown, anything they say is bought or stolen from someone else. I’m not having a pop at any individual and I can assure you I fit very snugly in to the ‘saddo’ category in my 30’s and some would say I still bloody well fit in the saddo category now. I should be made President of the saddo club eh?

The typical forum punter can also never say anything unique because they cannot think anything unique and they never will if they rely on a hired guru to feed their addictions. The ability to have unique thought has been taken away from them and it can never be replaced unless they realise that they are really exactly the same as their guru on an intellectual level. It is only the spiritual disease they suffer from that prevents them realising that. They are, at the moment at least, simply rendered begging dogs waiting for a nice biscuit, and when they have got it between their teeth they will wag their tails and find a nice place to scoff it in, just like the average pet dog does. That is why the conspiracy addicts seek out the conspiracy gurus, the conspiracy hospital ward doctors as I now see them, to think for them instead. The addicts simply want to carry on taking a biscuit. It is easier to do so.

That is why the ‘conspiracy ward doctors’ are increasing in numbers and their consultation fees are getting higher. It’s because the conspiracy addicts can’t think for themselves, its too much like hard work. It is purely a sellers market with a gang of sad punters thinking they can buy their spiritual freedom if they buy the right information. I’ve news for you and it’s free. You can’t buy an awakening.  The gurus/conspiracy doctors are simply feeding your addiction, they are never even thinking about offering or supplying a proper cure. Again you wouldn’t feed them or keep them fat if you were cured. It is a vicious circle of addict and supplier and it can only get more chaotic in the coming years. The price of this conspiracy food will go up at the same rate as the desperation of the addict does.

You don’t pay a consultant to tell you how to go for a shit do you? You know how to do it don’t you? So why pay a Guru to tell you who you are or where you are meant to shift to and when then?

Again I have researched conspiracy forum addicts for a few years and I have seen ‘many forms’ of different programming that has been instilled in the minds of the masses. I have purposely wound up and tested many playground (forum) idiots and cowardly bullies lurking on these forums (Sorry Guys!). A couple of trigger words sets them off and their egotistical true colours and symptoms of spiritual dis-ease always comes flooding out. These very sick and delusional people are far far away from breaking the spell they are under.

Indeed some of the conspiracy addicts on the large forums have become nothing but full time hired bouncers that enjoy taking toys and sweets of the weaker, but not sadder, addicts. I have also seen blatant anonymous liars spread vicious lies and gossip around whilst hiding behind an avatar too, but that is what pathetic conspiracy addicts with big egos do sometimes. These hired bouncers are simply doing unpaid PR for their drug dealer and they attract or distract people to the wares of the guru come drug dealer, in reality they are only there in order to to make sure the punters get their fixes from the right supplier and to remove addicts that misbehave.

These bouncers are of course symbolic drug ‘pushers’. It is utter madness really but shussh you are not allowed to say. Are these people actually shifting as they claim to be? I only see programmed addicts, their pushers and their suppliers in that situation. I’m sorry but I do. I do not see any mass awakening at the moment I only see programmed drones feeding in a wilderness of trivia. It will be the same after 2012 too. There is no bloody shift happening.

I have seen the same programming on my own website from 2007-2009. I’m not saying any small website is immune from the same madness and hypocrisy as the larger ones create. It just goes to show that any conspiracy website is really on the same path as any other ‘conspiracy site’ no matter which supplier of information is named on it.

Unfortunately or fortunately, dependent on the way you look at it, no matter what the original ambitions of a conspiracy site may be, the audience, however small, can only ever become the same as any other audience in this movement. It cannot be anything else. Ever. Indeed conspiracy forums and conspiracy websites that allow public debate are, as I indicated earlier, simply on a par with a symbolic ‘conspiracy addict ward’ in a mental hospital that has a symbolic resident ‘Conspiracy Doctor’ (a guru) to feed the chronic addiction of the conspiracy groupies.

Indeed the words ‘Conspiracy Doctors’ and ‘Conspiracy Ward’ sum it all up, as does a hospital full of patients that think they are actually part of a spiritual shift. These people are simply in delusion of a shift whilst blindly swallowing the contents of the doctors medicine cupboard in the hope that they actually chose the right doctor for a shift to occur. What shift are we talking about anyway? A peace on earth shift?

Again are we talking a peace on earth type of shift? A rise in vibrations? What? I think some conspiracy forums are some of the most violent and peace-less places in existence. Is someone taking the piss? How much does this shift cost you then? Is there a fee or a subscription to join it then? What are the rules?

Can I still be doped on drugs and drink and play at being a saddo every night till’ the early hours during this shift too? Obviously so. Can I remain anonymous in this shift or do i have to make a declaration? Can I keep the same avatar? Will I be thrown off the ward, and therefore miss the shift, if I say something the conspiracy doctor or ward nurses do not like by symbolically soiling my bed linen?

Anyway…sometimes the conspiracy hospital ward does not have a resident conspiracy doctor (website without a guru) and it is left to the patients (site members) to help satisfy one anothers addictions. And we all do that for each other eh? The lunatics take over the asylum The patients encourage each other to share their conspiracy info just as drug addicts encourage other addicts to share their spoils. They even congratulate each other on the potency of their conspiracy info or drug spoils, at least until that potency wears off that is.

Everything runs smooth on the conspiracy addict ward unless the addicts don’t get their favourite kind of fix, or the medicine trolley is held up of course, or something appears on the dinner table that they don’t like (the truth perhaps?). If that happens we soon start screaming for the medication we liked the best to reappear. Sometimes addicts leave a particular ward alone altogether and go on another that supplies the most trusted medication that comforts them the best. (I have witnessed this scenario personally with fair weather supporters)

For example, David Icke never goes on to the David Icke Forum to even try to cure the addicts (the punters) on it, so these patients just scrap over the ‘tit bits’ and gossip (usually lies) available to them ‘on the ward’. They squabble over the scraps until a new bag of drugs arrives, but even then they still scream the asylum down every now and again when they get bored or use that new bag of drugs up too. If David Icke (conspiracy Doctor) actually entered his own forum (addict ward) then the addicts would be totally in an uncontrollable frenzy around him eh? Hoping he throws them a spare ten quid wrap Yes? Can you see that? Can you see what I mean? (I only use the David Icke Forum as an example as being one of the biggest and most used forums, therefore easy for everyone to empathise with. I am not having a pop at the David Icke forum)


Is it a forum of truths or simply a hospital ward for conspiracy addicts?

 Indeed on a forum (hospital ward), the size of Ickes, they need ‘forum moderators’ (ward matrons, hired bouncers or simply pushers) to actually control the punters (patients) and when things get silly in the madness they end up putting the straight jacket on the noisiest patients when they play up and they don’t get their conspiracy fix. The sad thing is that these people, both matrons and the patients, claim to be ‘awake’ in this symbolic asylum. Pardon me? Awake? Give it a rest eh? The same scenario applies to ALL sites big or small, even this one.

Obviously a few patients also cough now and again and cause rifts inside the asylum. This shows that inevitably all conspiracy forums/websites can only ever become another asylum’. It is inevitable, it cannot be any different and I’ll tell you why. It is simply because the so-called truth movement is a ‘collective’ movement not a selective one. Yes there are splinter groups and these groups do have some differences but on the whole it is a ‘collective movement’. It is NOT a collective movement seeking truth and freedom though, it is simply collective greed and need that is demanding the food it is addicted too. It demands a fix.

The conspiracy ward patients always wildly migrate just like wild buffalo, trampling from one plain to another whilst looking for blades of grass to gobble up. This is just like a mob of conspiracy addict trampling around looking for conspiracy news to gobble up.The Buffalo can split into different groups in different areas but all the groups chase the same blades of grass collectively. Again this is the same scenario as a mob of conspiracy addicts chasing some information to gobble up. And gobble it up they do. They would murder children just to be the first to an exclusive! Well wouldn’t you junky?

Indeed the incurable drunks, dope heads and the insane are already collectively in residence in ‘all’ conspiracy forums and it really does not matter which individual website the different groups of addicts are on at any one time. They literally create a collective entity. Mind you they usually dope themselves with substances before they even dare seek to think for themselves or contribute to the truth movement. The sober politically correct frumpy types and even the emotional insecure nervous wreck types are also waiting in the wings on large forums or websites to spasmodically attack or destroy themselves. They are then simply removed by the bouncers or leave the forum or website and go and do the same thing on another one. They are like Haley’s Comet flying around like clockwork with super precision, but they cause mayhem on their travels. You can set your watch to them. They are simply a form of a conspiracy groupie, a ‘time looping suicide bomber’. They exist only to live in despair and to symbolically commit suicidal mass murder on any forum that has ‘upset’ them. They are literally addicted to despair and destruction and there is never any respite for them unless you appease them with false comforts (conspiracy food for conspiracy addicts) and/or assure them that they are on the ‘right path’. Once you don’t appease them with comforts they simply run away screaming that the forum they once loved, and loved them in return, has suddenly become a scandalous deceiver. They are pathetic incurable addicts. That id a fact not a theory.

The fact is that the suicide bomber type of punter simply requires far more potent fixes than an average conspiracy addict. That said out of all the different kinds of conspiracy addicts I like the suicide bomber types the best.

Conspiracy Ward Patients’


“Which forum is it for you tonight Mr or Mrs Addict?”

We have all been programmed with this same addict sort of personality or trait and the Serpent Cult set their traps a long time ago to create our traits and supply our fixes. We are all currently in the same net. Oh don’t get me wrong I realise the deluded ascended masters out there and/or the groupies will never see it that way.

I tell you the truth. It is a natural event or test in an awakening process, for the ideas you once held as ‘rock solid truth’ are inevitably shown to be just another form of mind control and a means to make you more spiritually insecure. Therefore most people trapped on a conspiracy addict ward will eventually retreat from the madness and look for easier methods of existence, fluffy bunny comforts if you like. I see this all the time. Again I see this all the time and during 2009 – 2012 many conspiracy addicts will be driven up the wall looking for a conspiracy Doctor that can offer a cure instead of simply feeding their addiction. They will not find it and will eventually, after looping and scoffing for years, they will also succumb to Serpent created comforts and abandon any true awakening. I tell you the truth in now in 2013 as i did back in 2008.

That is the problem with the conspiracy/truth world, it’s full of people that don’t know what is wrong with them and therefore they cannot heal themselves.  They cannot see sickness therefore they cannot heal? Like I said at the beginning of this article, spiritual disease is not like a physical injury. These people (us) do not know where their cure is and more importantly they don’t like being told that they are looking in the wrong place or receiving the wrong and therefore useless treatment. They (we) are blindly looking for a cure. They (we) are completely lost with only the conspiracy ward doctors, the gurus, that hint or claim that they have the cure for the conspiracy ward patients to rely on. Sadly the patients also believe them and they never ever question the diagnosis, prognosis or treatment being dished out from the said conspiracy ward doctors. I am sorry to say that the so-called ‘awakened’ are more asleep now, nay I mean more programmed now, than they have ever been. I’M SORRY TO SAY THAT.

There is no massive shift taking place apart from the individual one you sense (a simulation) during a conference or watching a DVD because those are the only places where a perceived shift is occurring at this present time and those types of shifts only happen during the period that you are watching or listening at the said conference or DVD. They are only temporary shifts on an individual or group level. ‘It’s called good marketing’ in other words ‘bloody propaganda’ and in my opinion we are not shifting anywhere ‘collectively’ at the moment, we are still as low as whale shit as far as surfing the sea of awareness is concerned. (Sorry!) You don’t have to believe me. We have only escaped from one net collectively. I hope that makes sense. The second net is there to block a collective awakening taking place. Indeed the second net is not so bad because you can also wallow in delusion with the words of your ascended master for years can’t you?

The first net or first death, is the net we see as the place the ‘dumbed down sheeple’ still exist in. After all us awakened folks are now all wallowing in our privileged awareness these days after escaping that net eh? The poor sheeple are still in that first matrix net eh? We wouldn’t be daft enough to escape from one level of a stupidity net just to land and be totally entranced in another.

We wouldn’t just carry on with another bullshit pantomime would we? Oh no we wouldn’t! All together now… Oh Yes We Would! Indeed the second net I mentioned in my Horowitz article is a far more powerful net than the easy first one you got through. The second net contains a far bigger challenge for you than the first one ever did. The second net area contains far more devious trickery than the first one ever did too. It is time to realise that if you refuse to see yourself then you will never see the second net. I’m sorry to go into part parable mode to explain it…..

 The second net area, as I call it, is what you see around you now in the conspiracy world and it is mainly constructed as a symbolic theatre that will, for some, eventually become a nightmare horror show containing some very deceptive showbiz personalities on the stage.

 But hidden amongst the audience, in this symbolic theatre, is also a very crafty group of ‘warm up men’ that wallow and lurk in all areas of the theatre. They are in the stalls, in the circles and even in the royal boxes. Indeed they will also be hidden in with the people selling you choc-ices if you can afford them. This group of ‘warm up men’ are only there to keep you watching and enjoying the shows. They have no other motives. The theatre simply employs them, they like their job and they will threaten you with a ‘shusssh’ if you dare question the plots of the shows taking place on stage.

Sadly this theatre puts on performances that I cannot ‘review’ for you and only you can decide if you prefer the choc–ices and the shows being presented in the theatre or you actually prefer to find the exit door. You are the only one that can get up and leave the theatre. No one will ever throw you out. The theatre is warm and cosy and the shows are very hypnotic and most shows are presented on a cold windy night.



Anyway I have said enough. I really don’t like saying these things and maybe I’d rather you pat me on the head whilst I supply the usual 9/11, 7/7 and celebrity fodder for some folks to loop on eternally. Maybe one day I’d rather just give some folks a nice fix (I mean the popular food for conspiracy addicts that you really can’t do without) and have you tell me what a good boy I am. Unfortunately that is not my mission, as I said before ‘I get all the dirty jobs’. But I’ll still carry that job out!

Please try to remember the possibility that you will not awaken or heal simply by feeding your addiction. Sometimes healing hurts a lot especially when those we try to help heal can’t see what is wrong and want a more comfortable treatment than the one that will actually help them and possibly cure them.

The biggest mistakes anyone can make is misunderstanding this article and therefore assume I am suggesting folks actually stop going on forums or visiting websites etc. I do not mean that at all nor would I dream of suggesting it. I encourage people to do their own research and for those people to encourage the research of others that helped them. I am sure there are good people in this world that will provide information and spiritual triggers that will help you.  But I’m also sure there is far more people who will do you far more harm than good, even if they do not know that themselves.

You will also need emotional and moral support from anyone that will genuinely give it to you. Sadly the phonies and the fakers on most forums and websites, and even some of the hypocrites selling you your fixes, wouldn’t actually piss on you if you were on fire. That said are you not the same in some things? This world is entirely based and run on selfish principles and nothing has changed at all yet.  I SAY YET!

I do though suggest that people look to and within themselves for answers. It is you that actually wants to wake up isn’t it? When your mother or father taught you how to go to the toilet you went to the toilet alone didn’t you? You didn’t just keep going back worshipping your parents ‘as toilet gurus’ and getting them to loop information about facing the long hard journey to the shit house did you? After you were shown where the door with toilet written on it was, you went in the toilet cubicle alone. (Well most of you did I hope!) You simply went down the path to the toilet yourself.

There is no difference with that scenario and a spiritual awakening. It is a time for a spiritual awakening in individuals. I know that only too well and I don’t pass information on that I haven’t suffered to understand in the first place and I don’t pass on information without having suffered just to have the right be able to pass the information on either.  This article is not written to be ‘negative’ to say there isn’t an awakening in humans going on or to say that this website or that website contains shills either.

This article is really one of the most positive articles you could read and it was written in good faith. I realise you won’t see that if you are programmed to think a certain way, you will see it as “oh here’s a bloke attacking us”. I’M NOT! Indeed I have re-released this article from 4 years ago so some can read it again. It’s audience will be small but the love that sent it isn’t. I wrote this article (April 2009 version) after a personal transition. I wrote the original one during a personal transition. I am wiser for the experiences created by the situation. It is written with a cutting edge and in the light of experience. It is written for anyone that wants to read it but it is written for those I know it will help in the future.

I personally do not want to see a million conspiracy addicts in ten years time still flitting from one conspiracy business website or new age website to another. I want to help them to be at least partially awake. So what should I do then? Should I keep silent about my experiences and views?

I would really like to see and, more importantly, actually feel ‘spiritually awakened people’ operating in this world in ten years time. I don’t want to see forum gossips and guru worshippers still addicted to gossip and gurus in 10 years time. That is not waking up and it never will be. That said I’m not saying I’m awake and others are not. I am just as daft as anyone else. I assure you of that. I am only telling of my experiences and my direction.

But I tell you the truth when I say, because of my direction, that if I have to give out cold turkey instead of fixes to help make things happen for the good (as I see it anyway) then I will do that. I’d rather be as unpopular as a brown shit stain on a new white wedding dress and be blackballed by the hypocritical conspiracy biz than bullshit people. It would be far easier for me not to do that and simply manipulate the punters already hooked to conspiracy biz. I assure you that the fakers and takers in the biz ‘know just what you want to hear and therefore buy’ and I assure you they are going to sell it to you in the coming months/years. Only you can wake you up.

 I can only suggest you take what you can from your favourite books, from your researchers and your currently favoured websites and forums, and by all means fully support those you want to support, but that’s where it ends in my opinion. If it is simply your wish for an awakening to end at kissing the arse and feet of a new age guru or through credit card subscriptions to a messiah then why bother having an awakening at all? You have already got that scenario in abundance in this world already haven’t you? All you have to do is choose which box to jump in and then jump into it. So please don’t tell me the ‘conspiracy biz’ is not made up of boxes. Please! The conspiracy biz is entirely built with boxes and those boxes are usually stuck together with bullshit.

Only you can wake you up. Only you can go through the door. Hopefully at this time in your life it won’t be the toilet door, as I see many so called ‘awakened’ cowardly and egotistical folks quickly disappear through that one if they don’t like what they hear.  I can only say that sometimes cold turkey is the only form of treatment for some addicts and cold turkey, however painful will leave the addict with valuable experience and a new found wisdom for the trials and tribulations ahead of them. I can only say with sincerity that I wrote the previous version of See You – Heal You for myself back in August 2009.

I have now written this version for ‘you’ in the hope that it will eventually help you ‘see you’ and help you ‘heal you’. I believe the information in this article will be a valuable asset in your toolbox that will help break the serpent’s spell in the future. So because of that I don’t mind about people misunderstanding me, or the information I have supplied. I am used to the dirty jobs. I do not give out any cold turkey without having previously suffered for it myself at least 10 fold. I only relay my experiences and the results of lessons I have already taken. I realise that most addicts stay clear of cold turkey and the force that supplied it, that’s fine too. I can assure you I very, very nearly did the same! I hurt like anyone else.

My direction has been difficult to cope with but this direction, and the priceless experiences and events it created, was vital to me in my journey. Obviously I had to create (via spiritual direction) the circumstances that allowed me to see and experience the things I have actually seen and experienced, but that wasn’t very hard either, it wasn’t nice sometimes but it was never hard. I did though try to be humourous as I coaxed dirty rats out of their nest. Mind you I can see I only did that for my benefit, as others obviously prefer to wear blindfolds.

The conspiracy biz, and the majority of groupies feeding it, actually thrive on a system of divide and rule whilst hypocritically sprouting about unity, collective-ness and love.  It literally wallows in egotistical guile, greed and trickery and sadly continuously regurgitates the same, which is obviously exactly like the sick matrix system the conspiracy biz claims to expose. It also has a system of punishment leading to the merciless Old Testament style destruction for anyone that tries to question the authenticity of the direction of the ‘truth movement’.

Going back to the half parable about the theatre mentioned earlier in this article (You haven’t forgot it already have you?) I will say that I don’t want the choc ices any more, they can stick them up their jacksies. I don’t want any star-studded entertainment stage shows any longer either. I’ve seen and had enough of them. I don’t want to be entranced by the screen in the theatre. I just bloody well seek the exit door. I know there are one or two others that seek it to and when I find it I won’t go through it without them. So I do not care if I have to ‘disturb the show on stage’ by saying things the entranced audience do not like and I never ever will do.

At the end of the day this article is a brainteaser for someone or anyone interested in conspiracy, spiritual freedom and the search for truth. I have already told you this article is sent with good intentions.

It will test you to see if your ego and your politically correct programming will allow you to even consider that you are an addict chasing fixes for your curious but confused soul. If your ego and politically correct programming does not allow you that consideration then you will see the article as insulting rubbish and you will see Matthew Delooze as a pathetic insulter.  I totally understand if you do see it and me as an insult.  It is fine really. I live with that sort of thing everyday. Indeed I’m an experienced expert on it and believe me there is far more ego pretending to use the truth, whilst actually running as far away from it as possible, as a sort of hippy fashion icon, or worse a means to exploit others.

Mind you I think if I saw this article seven or eight years ago I would have thought, “this bloke is taking the piss”.  But seven or eight years ago I was also researching the forums myself and sensed the same illusions that the other punters did. Indeed the very same people on the forums then are still in the exact same position as they are now, their awakening status has not improved at all apart from having more books and DVDs to purchase, which they repeat parrot fashion on the addict grapevine simply to impress less experienced addicts by pretending the information was theirs? Which is fine. But it should teach them how awake they really are at the same time. Shouldn’t it?

In my opinion, if you can start to see that it is actually ‘you’ that needs to awaken to ‘you’ before you can even start to make any progress at all, then I believe you would not see this See You – Heal You article as an insult. If you think simply being on a forum list or worshipping a favoured messiah or new age guru will free you, then that’s fine too. Go for it. The Christians and the Muslims have done the exact same thing for thousands of years, but I suppose the messiah you are depending on is the genuine one eh?

‘See You’ and you will begin to ‘Heal You’. You will never see you if you don’t look and you will never look at something you do not want unless someone makes you. That someone really cares.


May Love Reign O’er You All

Matthew Delooze 9th April 2010 (Originally August 2009)


Copyright © Matthew Delooze, 2009/10. All Rights Reserved.

This article is dedicate to true truth seekers everywhere. If one of you out there sees through the second net (The conspiracy Biz) and your own ego that will blind you then it was worthwhile producing it.

Thank You

Matthew Delooze Jan 2013